help! i am a failure!

I havent posted in quite some time. Actually i havent even logged in! But i have only lost 5lbs in a month and im not doing anything im supossed to be doing! i can eat anything i want, and i have been eating all the wrong things....chips, cookies....mcdonalds...you name it, im eating it! I feel like such a failure...like i went through all this and im screwing it up....i havent even taken vitimans in like 4 months. Why am i doing these things? This was a dream to me and now i am screwing averything up : ( i started at 264, im down to 184 but i should have lost WAY more. what are other peoples weight loss totals and is anyone else doing this to themselves? Kim 264/184/135

Hi Kim, First of all, I hope everyone doesn't pile on here. I hate when that happens. . . I would recommend that you talk to a counselor about some of these self-destructive habits and the reason I say that is I am in exactly the same place as you are and I have the same issues. I'm talking with someone to sort out why I'm doing all of this when I wanted the surgery so badly and to be thin so badly. Next, losing five pounds in the 7th to 8th month is pretty good. Everyone has stalled out significantly at some point. I have lost 100 pounds, but have 60 more to go. I can also eat whatever I want and of course, like a true food addict, I want all the bad stuff. I try to exercise a lot to make up for the calories I'm eating and I'm not trying to lower my calorie count (2000) but stay steady. I don't want this to get any higher or my stomach to expand anymore. But I can work off calories with a long walk. So maybe try to stay still on the calorie count/volume and add exercise in to make up for it. Don't beat yourself up. That will just make you eat more!!! Now go take your vitamins and write back! Donna

Hey Kim! You are NOT a failure! You just need to re-evaluate yourself. Stop doing the things you KNOW you aren't supposed to be doing. Join our exercise post! It keeps us very accountable and motivated to do better. You know what you are doing wrong and now you just need to fix it. You need to go back to the basics. Eating your protein first! If you have to go to McDonald's, get a salad or a grilled chicken sandwich and leave the bun off. If you want chips, get some soy crisps or rice cakes. Eat more fruit if you want something sweet. START TAKING YOUR VITAMINS AGAIN!!! You can do this! And we are all here to support you!!! Lori

Hi Kim, I'm so glad that you came back. You know what they say, "the first step to knowing there's a problem, is admitting it" and way to go to you for doing so. First and foremost ABOVE EVERYTHING ELSE... please take your vitamins. Your body needs these so, so badly. Possibly, the difficiencies are causing your body to crave everything else. You should also make an appointment with your surgeon. Talk to him/her and the nutritionist. I'm sure you're not the first nor the last person they will see that is dealing with these issues. You also need to get your blood work done (if you haven't done so at 6 months). A counselor is not a bad idea to help you deal with the root of the problem. We are in our 8th month now. Alot of us has shown a considerable drop in our weight loss amounts over the past 2 - 3 months. However, everyone on here is supportive of each other. It is at this point where some tend to start to slip into old habits, this is why checking in on this board daily (ie: our daily exercise) or just to say hello is so very important. You should also find a local support group (if you haven't already) and attend. I'm sure you'll find, you're not alone. Kim, you're so brave to come on here & be so truthful about yourself. I'm so proud of you. Keep reaching out to whoever will listen. We're all here whenever you need us. Keep telling yourself that you WILL beat the temptations and finish the journey that you began. Don't hesitate to post every hour on here if you need to. One step at a time girl, go get those vitamins. (((HUGS))) Tammy

Kim! Don't think of yourself as a failure. You lost 10 lb more than I did. And stalls happen . And so do falls,slips, and mistakes. It's just one more chance for us to look at the big picture and dig ourselves out of the hole that we might've fall instead of falling further. You can Do It! Look how far you've come!!! best wishes to you, rita 08/08/05 255/183/160

stalls happen........at least you know how to fix yours. For Feb I ate everything i was supposed to and had activity out the ying-yang. 4 days a week at Curves, 3 days a week at Bally's, walking 45-60 minutes at lunch 5 times a week. Plus I on the weekends I did 3 5K walks, 1 10 K walk and had 3 Sunday hiking trips. I lost flipping 12lbs and I was PISSED. I have NO IDEA how I only lost 12lbs with all that activity.....You know EXACTLY what you need to do to turn things around for yourself. Consider it a gift that you KNOW what needs to change to get back on track.......and don't take that gift for granted. Big Hugs.....and sorry for the butt kicking

Kim, First of all, you are not alone!! I know exactly what you are going through as I have struggled with some of the same issues as you. I have to watch myself as well. I have to keep my vitamins beside my computer at work in order to take them. I have also been having a time with snacking on junk food. Some days I do real well and some days are horrible, but I have been trying really hard. I used to not be consistent on exercising either. I don't have any trouble with it now that I post daily on the exercise post. Exercise has now become a habit and enjoyable. I love the support and shared laughter of the girls on the post. Like you, I have only lost 84-88 pounds (depends on the mood of my scales). LOL! You don't seem to be off the mark too much on your weight, so lighten up on yourself. You still have your tool and it is not too late to use it. You can do it and you are so worth it. Sherry

Hey Kim! Good to see you again! Sorry you are having such a hard time. I too, struggle with the same thing daily. The only reason why I did great today was because I'm sick. I know what you are going through. I think it's sad... you want to change but something in you won't let you. Like many others have said - it's not brain surgery! I suppose we are living proof. You and I, and others like us should porbably really see a therapist. I hope things get better for you and the rest of us. We have to change now before we become another statistic.

You're not the only Kim going through the same exact thing. Me too - eating chips, fried chicken and losing slow.... 258/185/150 - we almost started at the same weight and I'm screwing up too. 67% of total lbs to lose, not bad if you look at it like that, but I could be so much further. It's hard.....!! I recommitt myself on a daily basis. Hang in there....just know you are not alone and we will change this frickin' behavior!! Let's talk often, sense we are so close in weight. Maybe we can motivate each other.

Kim, First of all- don't use negative words like failure to describe yourself. We are all in a state of transiton. And with that- we struggle between OLD SELF issues and NEW SELF issues..and we all do that differently. So stop badgering yourself over this- or you will continue to repeat the cycle. Surgery helped free our dependencies - but not our minds. SEEK OUT a Psychologist - and follow their advice- what about the Psych. you saw as a preop? You should contact them Two- get into your local support group again- even OH has local chapters you can belong to - and also look into the issue of self sabotage - because unless we make the changes- we will only revert to bad behavior that made us fat to begin with. If you want a different outcome- You have to make the changes. Three- GOOD 4 YOU- that you wrote in and told us- we support you and understand- this can be anyone of us. You need to develop a plan of action and stick to it. Go back to getting more protein everyday- protein first- then everything else- remember that? I just reintroduced myself to it again. Four- Before you take a bite of something bad- look at the calories content- and think - how long you have to exercise to burn that off. If its going to add an additional 30mins to my workout- it better be freaking delicious- s/f cheesecake- thats all I can say! Or something better than that!! (now ask me how long that cheesecake is sitting in my fridge? A WHOLE WEEK) so pick yourself up, dust yourself off and begin to learn restraint. Let us know how you are doing- and don't be such a stranger - come join us in our weekly postings for GOALS and for daily exercise. How MUCH you want this to work is up to you. The program ONLY WORKS, as long as you ARE working it. MOTIVATION determines what you do - ATTITUDE determines how WELL you do it. ((( hugs))) Donna 325/229/145