Help! My Husband is leaving me!

Michelle & Timeka, I am so very sorry that both of you are going through this at such a critical time in your lives when your husbands should be standing proudly by you and saying, yea, that's my WOMAN! It is not uncommon for this to happen in marriages after gastric by-pass, from what I have heard, but I believe you marry someone for love, on the inside as well as the outside and it should be for the good, the bad and the ugly times. I pray that all will work out as in God's plans for both of you, just try to stay strong and know that you do not have to have a man in your life to make it. I learned this in 1992 when my husband left me for another woman. He was a very controlling man, molded me just liked he wanted, I gave my total being to him, and then he left. I had to totally rediscover my true self, so don't give that up, I learned that the hard way. If you need to talk on a more personal basis feel free to email me.. Blessings, hugs and love to you both! Nancy

Thank you ladies all so very much for your thoughts, prayers, and well wishes. You are all such an incredible group of women! Timeka, I am so sorry for you....I can truly feel for you and would love to offer you some words to ease the pain, it is so hard, we can and will get through this! We are big girls! (LOL! though not as big as we once were....wink!) I do not understand how someone who loves me so much can leave because of this surgery, I bought a better and longer life for myself, my kids AND my husband. That is a gift to my family and even though I am losing my husband along with weight, I would still do again tomorrow. I can't make him love me.....I can't control his emotions...sometimes that is hard I guess.....I really have not treated him any different, I still give him love and respect and loyalty. He loved me at my weight of 425....he deserves to have my loyalty and love no matter what I weigh.....I would never leave him because I lost weight and had other's attention. Honestly, I have never had the usual dating problems with being overweight. I do not feel that I settled by marrying him, so I do not feel the need to look elsewhere. I am DEVESTATED that he has chosen to leave, but I will not beg him to stay, I deserve more than that. I am seeing a psychologist for counseling, he went to one session of couples counseling and has decided that he is not willing to work on it. I continue to pray....Thank you all for your support!

Hi Michelle and Tamika, I am so sorry to hear what you are both going through! That is just terrible! I feel very bad for you both... When your husbands said you changed, i think that one thing that they may notice more is that you are taking the time to care about yourselves, and putting yourself first, okay maybe not first, but atleast in the top 4.... rather than last like before. I know that with many of my friend who were very dependant on me and my motherly ways... feel as though I have changed because I don't drop everything to listen to their problems when I have a workout planned, or just taking time for myself.... I am finally putting myself first, which just confuses people and makes them think that I am being selfish.... which I am... but I deserve it, I just didn't realize it before now! I hope that everything works out the best for you both... I will keep you and yourfamilies in my prayers! Bridget 280/174/150