WHY/HOW COULD I DO THIS TO MYSELF?

Original Post by Pat Rice at 7:28 AM PST on 03/14/2006 Northern, NJ - (08/26/2005) - Rafael F. Capella M.D. Where are those new habits I've learned? I am picking at the wrong foods, having a glass of wine at night, drinking coffee????. Bad foods are less and less off-limits. I am just 6 months out from RNY. It was my miracle..It freed me from the jail of my fat body. I am within 30 lbs of goal and have been stuck for 8 weeks. Does anyone know " What happens to our minds at this stage?" Is it normal, abnormal? How do I get the confidence to succeed back? Can I get it back? ANY INPUT...pLEASE. Thanks, Pat

Pat, I am there with you. I was just thinking this morning-Where has my focus gone? It seems that it is so much easier to return to old habits than to stick to new ones although we have been working so hard at our new habits for six months. I guess it is all up to our minds to stay focused. It is obvious to me that I can eat more and that is really scary. I have been battling my night eating demon. Sometimes I win and other times I don't. I try so hard to focus on something else, my son, my husband, housework, reading, puzzles, exercising but some times the internal evil voice is so loud! I think we just have to remember why we did this and that it is a process. We will make mistakes but we cannot give up or give in. Hang in there, Lynne 276/191/146

Hi Pat! Just a few words of advice for you.... don't know if I can help but I would like to give it a try. You do know that the ONLY person who can decide to get back on track is YOU. YOU have to make the conscious decision to make this work for you. There is no miracle fix for this. You have to be willing to set limits and get your self moving in the right direction once again. I drink coffee.... I have an occasional drink. I occasionally eat things I shouldn't. But I don't make a habit out of it. Yes, you SHOULD be able to eat more at this point. All of us can. But what we fill up on is key. I still eat my protein FIRST. Then I eat my veggies. And if I have room left, carbs. I try and watch my carb intake. I don't eat more than about 50 grams a day. I don't eat sugar ever. I don't think I dump on it but I haven't tested it really. I drink juice and eat fruit but that is the extent of anything remotely sugary. Exercise? Do you get any? That is very important on your journey also. We have a daily exercise post here that keeps us accountable for our daily activity. Believe me when I say that everything I have said comes to you with LOVE! I want you to succeed! I want you to know that you can come here ANYTIME and vent or get your butt kicked in the right direction! I HOPE that if and when I need a butt kicking, I can come here and get it! We are all in this together and need to rely on each other if we are gonna make it. I wish you the best of luck in getting that last 30lbs off! YOU CAN AND WILL GET YOUR CONFIDENCE BACK! Lori 281/195/140 55lbs to goal!

Hi Pat, I agree with the other posts as well. Trying to refocus is really important. Go back & read your journal. Also take this time, to write down your feelings. I remember writing something when my weight loss slowed down about knowing that in my past attempts that was the time that I would revert to "old habits". The weight loss slows or comes to a stop. We're doing what we're supposed to and still not seeing any results. Remember, Pat, that we lost soooo much weight sooo quickly in the beginning our bodies need to learn to level off some how. For some of us, it completely stops the weight loss for a while & for others, it slows down dramatically. My advise is to revisit your newly post-op rules. Write everything down & really look at it. Are you taking in enough protein, water, vitamins etc??? If so, what about exercise? Obviously, none of us were ever personal trainers or we wouldn't have been in the situation we were in. But, I think losing slower has forced us into making very important changes in our lives for long term success. In order for that scale to move now, I have to do some kind of exercise. Remember, every little bit counts. Start slowly & work your way to 30-60 minutes a day. You'll feel so good about yourself for the accomplishment that you won't want to sabotage your success. Remember, we're all in this together. I'm so glad you posted. You are so close to goal and really is 150 lbs a bad weight??? Think of your pre-op thoughts. I bet you said, just to get to 150 would make me sooo happy.... Take time for yourself & don't be so hard on yourself... Be proud of your success. Feed from that success & you will continue to succeed. Good Luck & come & vent any time. That's why we're here Tammy 291/284/203.5/145

I don't understand it. I find myself doing the same things alot. I have done well the pst few days though, but it is hard. I also struggle with night time eating, which I always have, but I have almost remedied that problem when I am at home, and I don't keep much food in my house. However, I understand most people cannot do that because they don't live alone. For me, at this point, I think I am sick of chicken, cheese, and yogurt (I say that as I have chicken cooking LOL). It's easy just to pick up something bad and I seem to do that too. I would think that it is normal for everyone to experience this at some point, but it is up to us to change it and that's the hard part. Congratulations on being so close to your goal and good luck!

Hi Pat, I know how you feel. I have said to myself this past week that I am out of control. However, I am the only one who can stop this out of control feeling for myself. Last night was particularly bad for me. Instead of picking up my crocheting (new habit to keep me occupied during TV time), I seemed to pick up everything in my sight to eat. It was so bad that I ended up getting sick because I over did it. Not a good thing at all. I am not hungry, just going through emotions and PMSing at the same time. Like you said, old habits seem to haunt me too. I am so happy you posted because it has given me the opportunity to say to myself, "Stop now. You don't have to keep ruining this day." So, now I need to refocus my thoughts and process them so I can stop this madness going on right now. For me, it has to do with the attention I am receiving from the opposite sex. I've never had to think of being anything more then a friend and right now I am freaking out because men are seeing me differently. It has always been one of my triggers for eating and I have to start getting real with myself and letting myself know that I okay with who I am at every stage. Again, easier said then done...but I need to get real or I may sabotage myself back to 293. I guess I am suggesting to you that you figure out what the triggers are that make you feel out of control and face them. Maybe we can all do this together and be greater success stories then we even imagined for ourselves! Best of luck to you on this journey! It's a mindblower sometimes!! Lori 293/216.5/135/130

I have problems some nights as well. I also have problems with snacking on chocolate around holidays. Christmas and Valentine's were really bad. I wish I had did like Lori and never tried anything sweet after WLS, but I did and now I know that I still have a weakness for it. I now eat a couple of grapes or a sugar free Russell Stover candy if I get a sweet craving. So maybe you could find a substitute to your weaknesses. I have also noticed that when I slack on exercising, I also slack on everything else (water, protein and eating sugar). Personally, I am more focused when I exercise. The daily exercise post on this board helps me stay accountable for my actions. It's fun to share the daily struggles with others out there. I have had huge stalls like you as well. I did not lose one pound or one inch from November 24th to December 24th and I only lost 2 pounds in February. Can we say Christmas and Valentine's? I think I see the common factor here. Anyway, I know it is a head game that is not very fun to play. And it is very frustrating as well. Please know you can come to us for support and you are not alone with this struggle. There are probably a lot of people that will read this that struggle like you and I do, but they won't post or admit that they do. LOL. HUGS..HUGS.. Sherry 276/194.5/130-140

Hi Pat, I'm also with you with not eating the way I should. I'm still doing great on MEALS, it's the snacks... Exercise is still sporadic... but now that I'm 90% better (been ill for over 3 weeks) I'm joing Tammy's exercise group. I think it's our nature to have food issues of course so unless we address WHY we keep reverting to our old habits it will continue to haunt us. Don't give up on yourself. Try doing a re-start - go back to how you were eating the 1st six weeks for about 2 weeks. Flush out those sugars & carbs. You'll be able to concentrate and will probably break that 8 week plateau. I'm almost about ready to go back to straight protein myself just so I can regain the eating pattern. We'll get there. Just think how much ammo we're gaining to refute those who think we took the easy/cheater way out. Dawn

Hi.. First let me ask you- are you still involved in any support groups, or did you think you don't need them anymore? I participate in two - one is through my surgeon- that is monthly and the other is through my local hospital- open to preops, postops, lap banders and is bi-weekly. I stumbled upon that group- and I have to say- its the most amazing group- and we really understand the issues and we talk openely. Both groups have a nurse and a nutrionist present to help us refocus and rethink. I would recommend you get back into sync with your support group and local friends who had surgery with you- through your surgeon. I have made two outstanding life long friendships with 2 women, since August- both postops walking my journey- just at different places- and it REALLY helps to have the support to help you- and get you going when you need it. I also strongly recommend- and you are not going to like this- write your food diary for a week - EVERY single thing you eat/drink- itemize it and take it to the nutrionist- make that appointment- and that is how you will begin getting back on track- taking accountability and answering to someone- who has more knowledge and experience with postops. Also- does your surgeon do follow up ? Mine does it for a whole year- so you may want to talk with him or his PA . Find out if he does a Metabolic resting test- this calculates your "caloric burn " capability..it maybe as easy as increasing your protein and exercising with more effort. If you want something to change- then you have to make the changes- for a better outcome. Donna

Wow! I needed this post! I think we are all with you right now, Pat. I have been playing with the same darn 3 pounds for nearly 2 months now. My snacking is getting out of hand as well. I've had complications and can't eat much, but oh boy...what I could tolerate seems to be the crunchy carbs, and believe me I've gone back to old habits in that department. I also realize that I've been slacking on the rules and really need to refocus my efforts on water, exercise, etc. I am getting ready for gallbladder surgery, so maybe recovering from that will be the 'back to basics' jumpstart that I need. You all rock!! Thanks to this board, I have maintained my sanity!! Toni 323/224/whatever