"Don't lose anymore!" --how to respond??

Hi All, I have lost 95 pounds so far. starting weight: 256 surgery weight: 245 height 5'3" I am in a size 12 now. I keep getting comments like.. you shouldn't lose anymore.. you'll be too thin. I'm sure I look thin to many people because I am so much thinner. But my ideal weight is 130. I'll be darned happy if I get to 135. Anyone hear this? How do you respond? My doc says I'm doing great. Mary

Mary, Congratulations on your great weight loss. You are doing wonderful. I haven't lost that much for people to tell me that I should stop. But I personally feel that if your doctor is OK with where you are at and you are OK with where you are at that is all that matters. It is your body and you are the one that needs to be healthy and happy. Rocquetta 333/252/175

I am at work and just took a walk. These are the comments I got. Wow I almost didn't recognize you. Then as I was walking back to my desk Hi, Your are wasting away to nothing. I am 5' 7 3/4" and weigh in at 192 I have not even hit overweight on the BMI chart. People say why do you want to lose so much??? My goal is 135 by the way. I tell them why not.. I used to weigh 135 and looked good, then I got fat after having a baby when I was 33 and stayed fat until now. When someone takes a picture of me, I still look heavy. I am wearing a size 12 pants and 10 very tight. These are the Levis/Strech jeans. The designer clothing I sometimes can't get into the 14 still. People say do you think it is healthy to lose more weight? Yes I am still Obese.....Maybe in an ODD way they are saying we are looking good...I don't know... The worst thing I heard was my daughters Dad the other day told me Now do you think it was all worth it couldn't you just have made the lifestyle changes on your own! He is very overweight and his wife is not she does not to eat, so told me. She is swedish and they had a baby 2 years after I had mine and she was early twenties and I was 33. I didn't lose she popped back to normal. I continued to gain and be depressed. It did'nt help getting the Mothers Day card from her Dad with the Cow on the front. Oh that mad me so mad yesterday when he said that. Then he said what is this telling our Daughter. I said she see what I have gone through and hopefully she doesn't take that road. Thanks for letting me vent... Diana 263/192/135

First off, you are are doing great. Second off, your daughter's Dad didn't marry you, and he is not paying your bills and he passed on being part of your life: THEREFORE: He has no say, no opinion and NO RIGHT to say squat to you. One thing you need to do is keep reminding yourself that you made a choice to be healthier and happier and live longer. So stupid, mean people like him don't have any opinion that matters. You need to do what is right for you. If you feel excited about getting down to 135, then do it. You had to make a LIFE committment for this weightloss. So do what you like and stop worrying about what the ex-says. His opinion doesn't matter. (He is probably trying to discourage you from losing hot because he knows he can't have you). You are doing great!!! Apryl 245.5/187/140

I think that is just because most people are used to seeing you overweight, so with you losing weight they don't know how to take it. If you and your Doc feel good about where you are then to heck with them. Just smile and nod LOL GREAT JOB BY THE WAY! Diana 267/202/165

Mary, I think you're doing great. I've yet to have anyone say that to me, but my sister (who had her surgery June 28, 2005) just said to me yesterday "If one more person tells me not to lose anymore weight, I'm gonna scream" (she's 4'9" & is currently 163). I told her that I bet they're looking at how thin her face is, & how much smaller she looks now as opposed to pre-op. Alot of people don't realize how much we weighed when we started this journey. I've surprised alot of people by telling them how close to 300 lbs I was. Which I end up telling them because when I say I've lost 74 lbs & have 72 more to go, they come back with the comment that I would be too thin. My advice would be to thank them for their complements, but your goal is to have a normal bmi. I really think that it is a backwards compliment, but I'm sure it gets kind of annoying. I'm kinda looking forward to hearing that for the first time thoug...hehehehe Take Care & Keep up the great work Tammy 291/284/217/145

Hi Mary, I know exactly what you mean. I started out at 251 and I now weigh 170 and I'm in a size 12 and Large tops. I'm 5'4 and want to be at 150. All my coworkers keep calling me skinny and slim. I want to hit them sometimes. Or they say your wasteing away to nothing. Stop losing. Heck, I don't know what its like to be thin so when that happnes, even if its only a week or more I'll be fine with that. Ha, Ha. Keep up the great work! Kristin

I have very similar experience with ya'll.. ....been called skinny and been advised to stop loosing. And I'm 194 lb, 5'7''...I'm far from skinny, I'm still obese...I don't take these comments negatively..I'm sure they all mean well, and even if there is any kind of envy... it's a response to shock that we send people into by loosing so much so efficiently in front of their eyes. I either say:" thanks, that was a complement"... or "wait and see when I'm in 160's "...I'm determined to not ruin any of my good relationships with people just because of my weight loss. best wishes, Rita

I think that people also think we weigh a lot less than we actually do...you know how your bone density is higher when you have been overweight for quite a while??? I work with someone who had surgery a year ago last July...started at 330# and now weighs 165#...she looks GREAT (had some plastic surgery in November as well). She was laughing and said they had a "pool" at work guessing what she weighed...and they ALL thought she weighed around 130-140 pounds.... I think it is also a good idea to focus on other results than weight or clothing size...do you take less meds? are you able to exercise more? or have a body fat checked....I am trying to balance my goal weight with a target % body fat, so even if my weight doesn't reach what I think is a good "goal", if the scales say my body fat is in a good range, I know I am in a good place. I think too that people are so used to seeing us bigger that they are commenting on the change...if they met you for the FIRST time weighing what you do, they wouldn't say...gee, I hope she doesn't lose weight or she would look too thin! Karen Moore 236/180 (and stuck!)/145