Repost (1st time didn't work): I feel like a fraud!!!

Hey all, So I'll try to keep this brief. I had WLS in August and I choose not to tell any of my co workers (except for the 2 who went through the whole process w/ me and work directly w/ me). I choose not to tell them 1) because it's my choice and 2) I work for a health company w/ a lot of nosy and opinonated people who feel like they have to share their opinion even when not asked for it. I'm sure you all can relate. So anyway, people have started to compliment me on my weight loss and all I say is Thank You, because in my eyes Thank you is a complete sentence and no explaining is due. Well some have asked me what am I doing and I say that I've changed my eating habits or I don't each as much as I used to. WHich I'm not lying but I don't feel that everyone who asks me this should get the "real" answer. Well yesterday one of co workers says to me, "What are you doing to lose all this weight. You know people here are saying you had the surgery because you dropped the weight so fast." So I'm like someone is bound to ask me sooner or later and how do I answer that and why do I feel like a fraud for not saying up front what I did and I wonder if people will feel like I misled them. Please help me get through these issues. Thanks

Keisha, Don't beat yourself up over this. It is none of their business how you are losing weight. I don't go around broadcasting it to people. But, if they ask, I tell them. It is a personal choice. Some people are just too damn nosey that they can't help themselves. If they are just asking how you are losing the weight, then your response is perfectly fine. You aren't lying. But there will be someone eventually that will ask if you have had the surgery. If it were me, and I have done this, I would say yes I did but I would appreciate it if you kept that information to yourself. It's private and personal and you should be able to choose who you want to know about it. That being said.... there are people who just can't keep their lips from flapping. Don't feel like a fraud for not telling people upfront. They never asked specifically if you had surgery, they asked how you were losing weight and you didn't lie about it. So when it does come out, which I am sure it will eventually, you can feel ok about it. I hope this helps you. Take care and know that we are here for ya! Lori

When they ask you "You're losing weight, did you have that surgery?" Tell them, "I'm eating better and exercising and if my breasts were larger, would you ask me if I was wearing a wonder bra, or if I have implants? Because if you did, I would assume you were actually trying to be insensitive." LOL

I was completely opposite. Personally, I have no problem with telling anyone about my surgery. Before surgery I told anyone and everyone - I guess because I was - and still am, so excited. At the same time, it is your right to remain silent and people should respect that. I'd just keep telling them that you've changed your eating habits - believe me, that's not fraud, it's the truth!

Keisha, This was a personal decision of yours and it's really nobody's business if you had the surgery or not. I can see where people would ask out of curiosity. Seems to always be 2 parts. You look good, what are you doing??? There's no reason for you to feel guilty for not telling anyone. You do not owe them any explanation. You tell them, whatever you feel comfortable with. I only told 3 co-workers & my supervisor, although, I know a whole lot more people know now. I have the good fortune to work from my home. It'll be interesting when I go into the office over Christmas and see my entire department, some of whom haven't seen me since pre-op. If asked, however, I will tell them that I had the surgery because I am proud of the decision I made and proud of my progress. Don't ever be ashamed of what you did.... We all know that this is by all means, not the easy way out. Keep your chin up and do what you feel comfortable with. Some people can overstep their boundaries so easily & it's so darn annoying. Good luck with whatever you decide. Remember we're always here for you. Tammy 291/230/145

Hey Keisha, I told very few people before I had surgery. I think that was for a combination of reasons. 1) I was kind of ashamed that I had let myself get so huge that I needed to have the surgery in the first place. 2) I was worried about what people would say to or about me. 3) I was afraid to look like an idiot if I had lots of complications and then people said "I told you not to do that"... Anyway, now after the fact, and having lost 75lbs since August, I tell anyone who asks as long as I feel like they are being genuine in their questioning. Most people are pretty cool about it though. Who cares how you are doing it! Keep up the good work. Shannon