Being treated diffrent now?:-@

Ok here's a gripe. and GOD I hope some can identify with me. Prior to surgery I was really fat (duh)... hardly ever wore make up and lived in clothes that would hang off of me to try to hide my fat. NOW.... I wear heals, zip up jeans and don't dare go out of the house without make up, in fact... each day I really ENJOY getting dressed and all dolled up. Even just had a major hair make over two days ago YAHOO. The sad part is, that I feel more alone now that I've lost so much weight than when I was fat. In terms of friends. Especially female friends. One example: I went to bible study last night with my new hair do (and it's drasticly diffrent) not one of my long time bible study lady friends commented. Even my husband noticed but had this comment" It's just that your acting a little stuck up these days" STUCK UP? Hell no! More confident, better well taken care of and happier yes! He said "well, you even walk diffrent now"... Uh? ok... I told him to take a 53lb sack of potatoes, sling them over his back and walk... bet he'd walk diffrent shedding all that weight too lol. It's not like I'm expecting the world to fall to thier knees in awe of my changes, not that at all. But what I am noticing is people distancing themselves from me. I find it totally strange as I'm still the same person inside. I GUESS that's why most say counceling is needed post surgery to deal with the drastic changes we are making... but I swear it's all the OTHER people who need counceling.... not lil old me lol. Have any of you had similar feelings? Hope to God I'm not going nuts here lol Hugs Tamela

Hi Tamela, I can relate to what you're going through. A couple of weeks ago I met my aunt & her family for dinner and a movie. It was the first time seeing her since about four weeks after surgery. Any ways the first thing out of her mouth was oh you can tell that you've lost out of your face. Not you look nice or good for you. I had a new outfit on had my hair done and more makeup then I usually wear and then at dinner she hardley talked to me. She was more interested in talking to her daughters friend then me. All that I can say is that their JEALOUS.. especially my aunt because she has put on so much weight recently. I'm sorry that you're so called friends are being JERKS. Congradulations on the 53lb weight loss that's awesome. Debbie

OMG!! Isn't it crazy? I'm not to the point of wearing zip-up jeans (I'm so jealous!), but I've had my share of 'back-handed' compliments lately. For instance...I too am getting the "gee, it really shows in your face" comment. My response to that one is "how big WAS my face?" I've lost 56 since surgery and 86 since February...that's a mighty big face! Then I get the comments like "I hope you're satisfied with what you did"...but in a condescending tone. That one is mostly from my mother in response to my recent setbacks with every day. As far as my friends go...they seem a bit apprehensive around me. Strange, huh? At first I thought that I was the one on the defensive; just sitting around waiting for a compliment to come my way. Then someone came up to me after church and said how good I looked...but then walked away before I could say thank you or engage in conversation. (I've always been a very chatty person after church) Don't know what to make of it... At least we have each other here! Toni

Tamela, I am so sorry that your friends around you have not been giving you the support that you truly deserve. Just remember that you did this for you and if no one else in the world notices, who cares, you do. And you feel wonderful. We are all here for you. Rocquetta

I get the oh you can tell you lost weight in your face also. It does not bother me because what I have noticed is that more men say Hi to me. Before they just walked by me and now they smile and say HI. I got fat while pregnant and split from my babies father during my pregnancy. So I have not had a date in 12 years. I have felt fat and ugly and I guess I stayed away from men. Well it was easy they never even looked. Well maybe a few once in a great while. So I don't judge what my friends say cause they might be uncomfortable in there own skin. I am noticing the difference from strangers. Its kinda fun. One of my friends asked if I was going to start dating again soon. Time will tell.... Diana

As we all understand, we do feel better, physically, emotionally, and mentally. The weight loss is going to change us inside and out. Personally, I have been in a shell so much of my life, that I am not particularly concerned with other people anymore. Some people do treat me differently now. I had two friends stay with me after surgery who are also obese and they hardly ever talk to me anymore since I've lost so much weight. Ultimately, I am the only one that matters to me. I have just hit 80 pounds since pre-op diet and surgery. I know I look and feel better, no matter what anyone else says. Congratulations on you weight loss, and it's not your fault people are jealous

Major life changes will always show you who your true friends really are. Some people are just afraid of accidentally insulting you, so they say nothing. Others are definitely jealous. But just hang in there. Remember - this is for YOU - no one else. So enjoy that new hairdo and spending the money at the make-up counter. And by the way, I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one who hadn't worn zip-up jeans forever! Congrats to you! Becky

HI TAMELA, I CAN TOTALLY IDENTIFY WITH YOU!! I'VE LOST 55LBS SINCE 8/31/05 AND I DO HAVE SOME SUPPORT I MUST SAY 2 OF MY BEST FRIENDS HAD WLS, AND MY FAMILY IS PRETTY SUPPORTIVE, BUT, AT WORK, OH, THEY COULDN'T STOP TALKING ABOUT MY SURGERY PRE OP, AND COULDN'T WAIT TO SEE WHAT I LOOKED LIKE POST OP, AND CERTAIN ONES WALK RIGHT PAST ME, ACT LIKE THEY DON'T SEE ME, OR KEEP CONVERSATION SHORT, BUT I WAS WARNED ABOUT THIS AND THEY CAN KEEP ON WALKIN BECAUSE THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST THINGS I COULD DO FOR MYSELF, AND LIKE EVERYONE ELSE SAID, WE HAVE EACH OTHER!!!! X0X0X0 MZ

I read an article in People magazine about the supermodel Tyra Banks and how she dressed up in a 350 lb "fat suit" and went walking the streets. She said that making fun of obese people is the last form of acceptable discrimination. And she is soo right! She said she felt no sexual engery from men and that people failed to smile back at her when she smiled at them on the streets. There is a difference in the way people view you and interact with you when you are obese. I think your friends and family have to get used to your new physical appearance. It is a shock to some people.

Thanks for all the responses! Now I know I'm not alone! I've been really having a hard time with this. I just had a "barbie" co-worker come over last night and was talking to her about it and she laughed "Now you know what I go through all the time". She made sense. "When your fat, intelligent and funny.... people accept you more" "But when you beautiful, skinny, intelligent and funny, people think your a *****". And she confirmed what ya all said too. I'm doing this for me, no one else so everyone else can eaither adjust to the new me, or they can eat dirt. I never thought about trading the "fat blues" for the "skinny blues" though LOL But I guess if I had a choice.... Hell... call me a ***** that's fine with me LOL