I NEED TO SHARE

Hello everyone!!! I woke up this morning with something on my mind that I need to share with someone, sometimes you can't "share" as freely with the ones close to you than with others you don't know so well, anywho, since all us on this board have a very dear thing in common I figured I could "share" with you all.............................. Here goes, I had my WLS on 8/31/05, prior to that about a year ago my grandmother and mother moved from pa to fla. Now, my grandmother raised me, she was my mother in my heart, my mother was more like a sister(she had her own demons to deal with). Anyway, On 9/09/05 ( My 14yr.old's birthday,mind you) my grandmother was killed in a car accident, she died instantly. She was only 74yrs. old and full of life, her new friends say they couldn't keep up with her, she was a dynamo!!!!! (always has been! My aunt described her as "small but mighty" in her eulogy). So, this was only 9 days post op for me. I woke up this morning with her heavy on my mind. She called me many times while I was in the hospital, and it was hard for her, for one;she was not happy with me getting the surgery;two, she wasn't able to be right there with me and she was always there when I needed her most(that was okay). But of all the people close to me , she understood the most (I believe) she said to me on the telephone, in the hospital, "Now that little girl that has been waiting in that body can finally come out" ( I thought she did not understand why I was having this surgery, she did, she just was worried about me; but she understood my struggle with my weight all these years, she understood more than anyone) Those are the words I remember from her most. I can't help but think, I wish she was here to see my progress, I have lost 33lbs so far and I know she would be so proud of me, isn't it ironic, I was supposed to go visit with her and my mother on the 11th so I could recover from my surgery ( I have an 18 month old-smile!!) and she left before I could come. I did see her again, I went to FLA. for her service and it was the most amazing thing to me, she looked absolutely beautiful.....stunning............. (Now don't get it twisted, my Gram was beautiful, always) but she looked so peaceful, so at rest (as children, teenagers my sister and I gave her HELL, can I say it again.......HELL) SHE LOOKED MORE BEAUTIFUL IN HER FINAL REST it was amazing to me!!!!! She loved angels, she collected them, and I know the angels were with her........................................ I just needed to share this morning, I was looking at myself in the mirror admirering my progress and I thought of her and her words to me (my Gram always said I was a size 10 in this body, she always teased me and called me Diva, that's what she meant when she said what she said to me on the phone). I just want to dedicate my weight loss journey and the new life I am beginning to my dear grandmother; MARIE S. PIETSCHMANN, the woman who taught to be the woman I am today...... Thank you all for listening ........MZ

that was beautiful and i'm sure your grandma is going to be right with you every step of the way! keep up the good work and know you'll always have a special angel! good luck on your journey!

Lisa, thanks so much for you encouragement, it means alot! MZ

Sweetie, the fact that you woke up with your grandmother heavily on your mind shows that SHE KNOWS how well you are doing. She just wanted YOU to know that SHE knew! Put a smile on your face, give yourself a hug, and say out loud, "Thanks, Grandma!". Becca

Hello, I continously am amazed at God's grace. My mom and I went on a vacation together and were able to settle some issues and w/i 12 hours of her returning home she fell into a coma that she never came out of before dieing. Your grandmother was able to give you confirmation that she understood and gave you a, oh... I guess a theme to focus on during this time of your life - letting the little girl in you to come out - before bringing her home. Focus on the good, which you already seem to be doing, and take advantage of her intruding into your thoughts to have a conversation with her. Dawn

oh my goodness! we had surgery the same day with Dr. Bonanni!! My surgery was at 10:00. What time was yours?? what room did they put you in? we probably saw each other at the hospital. By the way, I sat here in tears reading your post! Alice SW 231 CW 211

RE: I NEED TO SHARE Response from Alice Fabian at 2:52 PM PST on 10/02/2005 Fleetwood, PA - RNY (08/31/2005) - Fernando Bonanni, M.D. oh my goodness! we had surgery the same day with Dr. Bonanni!! My surgery was at 10:00. What time was yours?? what room did they put you in? we probably saw each other at the hospital. By the way, I sat here in tears reading your post! Alice SW 231 CW 211

My grandmother, too, was the absolute light in my life. Other than my children and husband, she was EVERYTHING to me. My parents were very young when I was born and weren't quite ready to be parents. Grandma lived right next door and was my everyday angel. When I was less than lovable during my troubled years, that's when she loved me most of all. It was August 2, 1998 when she died and there is not a day go by that I don't think about her and miss her still. The good news is, as time goes on, more of my thoughts are good ones. I still miss her and wish she was here, but I have learned to appreciate and enjoy all the wonderful memories I have of her. I have prayed many times that someday when I am a Grandma, I would like to even come close to being as good as she was. So here's to Grandmas who were dearly loved and will be forever missed. They made us who we are. I know my Grandma and yours are both in heaven cheering us on and loving us from afar. (And I'm pretty sure my Grandma is also very happy fixing Elvis peanut butter and banana sandwiches!) God Bless You and Keep You during this very emotional and difficult time. I'm here for you! Becky