Cleaning out my emotional closet.

Hello friends! In between protein shakes I went through all of my clothes. What an emotional journey. I realized that I have not been honest with myself at all. I felt nausea when I found the 3xxx+ clothes that I didn't even wear, I just know that when I bought them I was desperate for some kind of self esteem. I only left in my closet the comfies, the clothes that I feel good in to get me through the next few weeks. I put another whole set of clothes into my "slim intos" box. It was amazing for the first time in my life to know that I will actually get to wear them. It was like putting away Christmas presents for myself. (Please don't get ideas that I have fancy clothes 90% are from Walmart) I threw away half of my pretty plus- granny, extra large panties. It was therapeutic. I went through my shoes and threw away the gross, over worn, slip on shoes that were easier- than tie shoes. I am down to a total of 10 pairs total (that includes summer sandals to winter boots). I got together my lounge around, comfiest pJ's and Happy Pants(elastic waist band of course) This will be my recovery clothes. I have ordered the Fall Speigel catalog and will pick up the Fall JCpenney catalog this week. I am also going to the recycling center to go through their used magazine bin. I plan to spoil myself the days after my surgery. Tomorrow its "get ahead at work day" and then clean out the fridge. I don't think anything in there is quite steril enough for someone post surgery to eat! ( Please don't get the idea that I'm a neat freak, or I'll send you pictures of my basement!) Sooo, maybe I'm going nuts, but this is how I am getting through my pre-surgery nerves. I had my pre-op with my GP today and he was so happy for me he even prayed with me. God is soo good. Love ya all, Laura D.

I so need to do some of that....but I keep putting it off...I have mentally gone through my clothes and I know I will really miss my leather jacket the most...but hey they are replaceable right?! Even found myself asking another person if they wanted the clothes that I shrink out of.. I even went and bought new pj's that are really loose for the hospital...even though I had 2 pairs that would of worked! Why do we do that?? My house is driving me NUTS!! just can't seem to get it clean enough for my likings this week...thinking it is my nerves or something! With 8 kids and 2 adults living here you can NEVER see it spotless....but this week it seems like a pigsty to me! guess I just need to get over it. Just want all my ducks in a row so to speak. Was so lost in thought today almost forgot the 2 little ones at headstart....Argh!!! What kinda mom forgets her 3 and 4 yr old at school??? LOL One who is having surgery in 9 days and just can't seem to keep a stable thought! But I think I finally have all the childcare arrangements in place. Thank goodness there!!! Patti

What is so bizarre is that yesterday I did some of the same things you did and made some of the same plans. I went to my mother's and into my old room where I store a lot of my clothes, and just went through some things. And it was SOOO much stuff, welp, then I said to myself "tomorrow I will clean out my fridge and sweep and mop, and maybe vacum". I decided I would clean the bathroom the next day. I have to spread out the cleaning, get my drift? LOL hehehe I have surgery the day before you so I am one day short of having time to do things, so I will have to try and get on the ball. I cleaned my room, dusted, etc, and I am loving the fact that when I come home things will be spotless. Although I may be staying with my mama for a lil bit. Maybe I should call her and tell her to clean up her house? LOL I better not do that, she might not take me home from the hospital. Today was pre-admisson day and there was a question on this paper work I was filling out and it said "are you abused or neglected?" and I just cut my eyes over at my mama. I love to pick on her, she is like my best friend. Well alrighty then. I must go its 2am and I have a class at 12:15. So glad to hear that we have some of the same ideas going on, you aren't alone. Talk to ya soon! Amanda

What a great idea! (cleaning out your closet) That's what I need to do lol. I have a dress come to think of it in size 6 that I've had bagged up for ages... I should take it out and hang it on my wall to inspire me! Come to think of it, I also have my black leather mini skirt size 5 ROTFLMBO. I think I'm one of the strange ones here. As far as packing for the hospital, I hardly brang anything lol. I used all thier stuff. Yes, I brought pj's but really the hospital gowns were more comfortable so I just used those. I took every "free bee" I could get lol. Less to unpack when I got home I suppose lol.

Tomorrow is my day for surgery. I have gone through every piece of clothing in the house...I have been cleaning and organizing for days. So I know what you feel like. Other times when I have lost weight I have given away clothes only to have to buy new ones because I gained the weight back but this time it will be for good. I have all the smaller sizes organized by size(these are ones my skinny sister gave me all the clothes I own are of the larger sizes). May God be with you in 8 days and beyond.

Thanks friends for sharing your stories! I must be on track if the rest of you had the urge to clean and organize. The fridge will have to wait for tomorrow. I am too tired tonight. It's an interesting feeling each morning praying for those who are having their surgeries. It is great to know that I am not alone. The weather in northern MN is getting down to almost freezing at night. The cold air feels very refreshing. In the book "simple abundance" it talks about how September resolutions last way longer than January ones because a person has the energy and weather to carry them out. Let's hope this is true for all of us August Surgery companions! Love Ya, Laura D.