Confused...am I happy or sad???

I have waited for what seems to be forever to have this surgery. I haven't been going through the "Last Supper" Syndrome, but I am looking around the kitchen at foods I will miss. I am wondering who my friends really are, the ones who I thought would be there for me and are not. I have the MOST supportive family in the world I think, and the few friends in the real world that I do have are more than enough. I am greatful because some people do not even have that. I am also SO SO greatful to all of you wonderful people. You have had the answers I have needed, and have been there when I needed you the most whether you knew it or not. I have sit here every night, reading, learning, my heart going out to all of you, and feeling your support for me as well. I have about 11 days left til surgery and I have been staying busy cleaning my house from top to bottom, because I know it won't get dusted for awhile, and I hate dust! I am going to stay at my mama's for about a week. She is so good to me. I am 27 and still her baby. I have had other illnesses in the past and she was right there by my side day and night. I wish all of you knew what a happy person I was. People question why I am so happy all the time, and my answer is..."What is there to be mad about?" But when I do get sad, which is maybe 3 times a year, I don't know why. Maybe I am crying tears of joy, and I am thinking I am sad when I am really happy. I really don't know. Are there any other people out there who got to crying close to surgery when they were normally a happy person, and didn't know why? Hugs! Amanda

Hi, Amanda - I have been crying a lot recently, and I am NOT a crier. I, too am a really positive, happy, up-beat person. It has to be all the emotions before the surgery. Maybe hormones have something to do with it too. I seem to alternate between being really excited for the surgery, and then in 2 seconds I will be in tears thinking about kissing my husband and children bye when I go in to surgery. I know that the probability of anything going wrong is VERY slight, but I still get scared sometimes. I have never had surgery, but my husband had wls 15 mos. ago & it has been a breeze for him. I KNOW I will do fine. Maybe I am just indulging in some self-pity. Last night I was a basket case. Tonight i am just excited and anxious for Monday to come. Who knows what tomorrow will bring. I am just proud of myself that I have decided to take this step to make myself healthy, and I am so proud of everyone else that they have taken this step too. I am also tremendously grateful to EVERYONE on this messageboard for listening and supporting me. I can't tell any of my friend about the surgery, so my only real support groupismy family and my new family on this board. It has been a godsend to me. Good luck to you. You will do great. You will be in my prayers. Keep in touch! Big Hugs!!!!!!!!!!

Amanda, I wish you the best of luck on your surgery!! You are a sweetheart!!! Im happy!!!! 3 more days and a wake up for me. Im so ready!! felt a little sad as well , I think its normal though! (((((((((((SMILE)))))))))) sheree and congrats!!!

((((((((Laura))))))))) & ((((((((((((Sheree))))))))))) Thanks so much for the replies. I needed to hear what you had to say. Both of your surgeries are just a few days away! YAYYYY!!! I guess we all just get mixed feelings before surgery. It's like I am sensitive all of the sudden. I am a walking basket case at times, which is VERY unlike me. BUT...since I live alone, it's only me that knows about it, well ya'll know now. I don't let my family or friends know when I get this way because they wouldn't know what to say or do. Glad ya'll are here and understand I would love to hear from both of you after surgery and know how it goes. Your in my prayers. Huggssss Amanda

I'm 12 days post op. Let me tell ya, the week BEFORE surgery I was a litteral mess! Crying, sentimental, depressed? Not a happy camper at all. Then the week of surgery, I started getting excited and full of energy and did'nt really even feel like overeating my "last meals" (yes, plural as I ate my last meals for the last two weeks lol) What you are experiencing is perfectly normal. That being said, give yourself permission to be "moody" and know that it is just a temporary thing. Hugs Tamela

Yeah, I went through all that too, 13 days out now. Ate everythink I thought I wouldn't want again for two weeks as well. Jeri

befor my surgury i went through a mourning process of food for weeks...even been through the last supper syndrome. food was my friend and i definitely missed having my friend around ----i think its normal but they suggest you you to psych counseling. it is really a big lifestyle change.