A Little MIA..Need Help this week

Everyone Been kind of a tough week..I was MIA from my workouts a week, then worked out one day-then began TOM, and this week was really bad - food wise... ASIDE from the fact that my son , who is now 21, wants to move and live out in Illinois, with this girl and her family. He wants to continue his EMT career out there, and I was thinking by Christmas, and he told me by Oct. 31 he wants to relocate. I think he just feels fulfilled and the fact that he has been corresponding and talking, over the last 2 yrs- since his last visit there, I told him I'm not going to hold him back. Its just the suddenness of how quickly he wants to leave.. So between feeling conflicted, over feeling OLD, and the advent of his departure, has made me depressed, along with my monthly PMS issues. In my heart I know - he thinks he'll be happy, and he needs to launch off and discover life. I'm good with that. It's the anticipation of loneliness that I dislike. I did miss him while he was gone- but at the same time- I felt like I was getting part of my life back- But I'm also afraid- that left to my own devices, I will eat myself back to 300 again. I notice I eat when I'm depressed. Plus the other thing- has anyone noticed- a natural incline in eating- when its TOM with their hormones running rampant? It's something I can't explain..I know NORMALLY, how much I eat- I workout- etc and stick to vitamins and supplements etc. And I thought Im supposed to be hitting menopause sometime soon at 50 (?), but my TOM has slightly decreased- but my HORMONES have tricked me! They first made me super horny- and now- they have me with a raging hunger..It's NOT me- I even tried controlling what I eat- or picking safe foods- I just ate MORE of them - from the minute I went to work- till Lunch and then when I got home- till bedtime. I didnt get sick- but it was a good case of indigestion. I just ate and ate and ATE! Like an all day party! I ate fruit , salad, skittles , pretzels with pb, more fruit, s/f ice pops and drank a lot of fluids. Wed- we did a BBQ- and I overate chicken, hot dog & 1/2 hamburger with cheese.. I felt like this since Tuesday- THREE DAYS!..It upset me because I was really beginning to think I was "out of control" with my eating, you know? That bad habits had returned- despite all my hard work, so I began feeling guilty and concerned. I thought I was on a spiral of eating my way back to being big and fat. PLUS I think I watched way too much TV-more than I normally do. TODAY, I feel more like myself- more calm. Usually becuz of my anemia, I don't workout this week, but I will attempt some light workouts and stretching this weekend. I don't have the venomous appetite I've had, nor do I feel compelled to stuff myself like a tomato... I really thought it was my old behavior and appetite returning. I feel more confident that I can return to my "normal" lifestyle, but hope I have not outstretched my tummy in one endless parade of grazing.Do you think I DID? It was like I had no self control and really twisted myself, and yet I really think it was hormonal. Comments anyone?? SO I am NOT one to allow "feeling sorry" for myself, I just refuse it..good thing I'm stubborn in some ways I think this was a combination of things..I want my son to be grown and independent, but I also thought he would always be around, you know? I worry that something might happen to me- and no one's around. I trust him to aid me if anything happened..then I worry - what happens if something happens to him out of state? It would hurt me too much... NOW is a different 360 degree turn from where I was last year- just recovering. This REALLY IS Life Altering Surgery, and my journey continues. P.S. - Is anyone using Seasonale or another BC Pill now that they are a year out? Donna

Hey Donna, hang in there. I understand about TOM. I have always been one to eat just before I start my period. At first after this surgery, that went away, but I find now that I want to graze more before. Also, my desire for chocolate just before has returned. Got to have it -- so get sugar free at least. Not lower in calories, but doesn't make me sick. Also, before I had surgery, I was starting menopause -- hot flashes, periods every month but some heavy some very light, night sweats, etc. After surgery, all my symptoms stopped and my periods were 'normal' again. But, here at 1 year out, I am starting to get the sweats again and I know my moods have been swinging some. I warned my husband that he had better watch his step! Anyways, I had heard that estrogen is stored in fat cells and when you "explode" or shrink all those cells with quick weight loss, the estrogen floods back into your body. One of the reasons that women get pregnant after having this surgery if they are not careful! I have always figured that is why my menopause symptoms got better for a while. But they seem to be starting back now with a vengence. Oh well. I understand the part about your son, I have one that is 22 and is not going back to college... desparately wants to move out on his own, but doesn't make enough money to do that. He has been miserable and is making me a wreck in the process. Thinking about joining the service (US Marines is his branch of choice) or the police department. I am just trying to take a deep breath and deal with whatever comes. Stay on the journey! you are doing great. Get back to exercise and eating right. Everyone has an off day/week. I sure have! Eileen 337/202/160-170ish

Hi Eileen- thanks for your support.. I haven't been feeling myself lately- and this past Wed I went for an endoscopy and now have an ulcer- which is more painful than the one I had as a pre-op, for some reason.. I have no clue about my menopause sympotms- I guess I should be glad I have none. My surgeon told me- that women gain testosterone and men gain estrogen the more they increase their weight- so with losing weight- I thought I would be decreasing estrogen- but NO- its the testosterone thats leveling off- and the estrogen thats in the fat cells- well there is just less of it- from what I gather.. My desire for chocolate or pizza etc is not what it was- thats not my problem..I still routinely do not eat bread- or drink caffeine or drink soda..and Im very selective if I have anything with sugar in it..I really think I became sugar addictive when I was young and..when that sweet tooth does strike- one of anything is okay with me.I routinely eat sugar free or "no sugar added" stuff- which I also double check...my problem was always portion control- and there are days- when I come home from the gym- and just wanna eat pancakes - eggs & sausage..I might even order that at a diner- but will eat the eggs first- and some of the rest- but i could push myself to graze and now- I just dont want leftovers- I leave my extra food .. But now with this ulcer- Im trying to be positive- and think that okay- the medicine is working- but Nexium works differently than prevacid apparently- and Im trying to adjust..Im trying to keep it light- but boy- you do take for granted that your pouch is working well..so be careful with overdoing it. hugs Donna

Hi Donna, How are you doing??? Patricia

Hey Pat- this is you? Of course it is .. I was really depressed when I called - as you know.ANd my cell is out temporarily- you can reach me at my home number- I'll email it to you. Long story short- I have an ulcer now. The ***** of it is- he wrote an Rx for Nexium- all good- except the ins company didnt want to pay $172 and it took me sevral emails, 2 calls and the pharmacy calling- to get the Rx approved-Aetna wanted to talk to the doctor- after telling my pharmacy they couldnt find me in their computer.. and I wanted it before the holiday weekend. I did finally get the Rx approved- at $50 my cost- and the docs office gave me 2wks of samples..So thinking I felt "myself today" I headed out to the gym- did a solid 45 min workout- and felt it. Really crappy weather outside..tonight I ate Chinese food- and usually have no problems- but for some reason- my stomach was hurting after and threw up. I was afraid Id begin dumping..so Im going to remember tums before I eat..maybe it was just too spicy- who the hell knows now? Anyway- thanks for finding me here..I appreciate your concern..you are a great friend. hugs, xoxo Donna