Year coming up and i'm stuck and feeling down

First of all i want to apologize for not posting much. I am more of a lurker, but i need to vent. I am almost one year out now, and feel like I am slipping back into my old routine. I have not really lost any weight since April. I am down from my highest 311 to 207. But my Pre-op official weight was 301 so yes I have hit the century club mark at my highest weight but not my official pre op weight. I feel like I am never going to get to my goal weight. I have 40 to 50 more lbs to lose. I keep seeing others who have had WLS the same month, or other people who have hit goal in close to their year, and cant help but feel I may never get there. I can eat anything, even crap I shouldn't. I don't know what the heck my problem is, but I feel so "normal" I wish I would dump on the crap food like others, so I would not eat it, but I just cant seem to stop myself. I am addicted to food, and being addicted to food is not like being addicted to "other" things. How do you quit a food addiction? You must eat to live. How to I break this? I have tried Therapy so many times, and it does not work. Maybe I am just not finding the right therapist? I don't know. My other dilemma is I hate exercise. I am just to dang lazy to get up and do it. I try...I tell myself, ok self, when you get home your going to take the dogs for a walk. Well then I get home, and start cooking dinner for my family, and then my show for that evening comes on and there I sit on the couch, not walking. I was hoping I would become addicted to exercise instead of food after WLS. Well that did not happen. I keep gaining and losing the same 4 lbs from 204 to 207. Yes I am ok with my size; I am more comfortable in my skin now. I ride the rides at Six Flags now, or go swimming in public pools with more confidence....etc. But for my health I need to lose more. I at least want/need to be under 200 lbs. I get conflicting suggestions on whether I should do protein shakes or not do them, how much water I should drink, whether I should drink plain water or is Crystal light ok. I never get the same answer from 2 different people. I still cannot make/keep friends, I don't know if it is me, or them. Maybe I am too needy, or weird. I long to have friends to just hang out with. I'm still shy, losing this weight did not help that. Yes I am a little more friendly, but to just start a conversation with someone....not. I used to regret this surgery, but I am so glad I did it now, but I don't want to fail it. Am I alone? What can I do?

Hi- First of all - Chin Up! never look down upon yourself. The time for feeling sorry and being self indulgent is over. #2 -Your new motto: Motivation determines what you do - Attitude determines how well you do it. Type this and place it where you can see it several times a day. (When I lose focus- I come back to this time & again.) #3- Stop feeling sorry for yourself - giving into your emotions is what prompts you to begin your old behavior. Its self sabotage and will cause you continued failure. Acknowledge how you feel and change your focus when you feel that way. See my posting from 6/30 and then see my 7/6 response. #4- I understand why you didnt like exercise at 301. I was 325 and exercising @ Bally's.I even had a personal trainer and lost 25lbs. When I stopped the PT I gained it back- all before surgery- getting me to 325 preop. But I continued going to the gym occasionally. Post surgery- I have gone from 30mins to 90mins treadmill & stairmaster and do weight training afterwards. I know you dont want to hear about it. But I wll tell you this straight out- you will continue to lose your focus and regain your weight loss- without exercise or any aerobic activity. So its up to you whether you want to throw away this last year or not. back to #2- HOW motivated are you? That determines your focus and level of committment. What is your Level of Commitment? It should be 6 or more- but saying something and taking action are two different things. #5 - Activity changes your metabolism. Using weights changes your metabolism. Why increase it? because it slows down as you age and you BURN FAT LONGER when it is higher. And you BURN IT LONGER than your workout or your walk. You burn MORE CALORIES while walking or sleeping, simply by pumping up your metabolism. SO Now do I have your attention? How do you do that? Exercise+ weights + protein. You dont realize it- but your body is UNDERmuscled. Increase your muscle weight and you burn MORE Fat. Thats like doing one thing & the bonus is- your body continues to burn it off- long after you stopped. Exercise alone or diet alone- will only give you a smaller version of yourself. Lifting weights- and not talking anything big here- but handweights, or leg weights- used 3-4x a week- will help change your metabolism. Here is the key: your muscles are mini metabolic furnaces. Don't you want to fire them up and keep them burning? Well this is whats called " AFTERBURN". You do some aerobic activity, then do bicep curls. You will be burning fat and building your muscle- long after you stop- maybe as long as 48hrs. THOSE COMBINED will keep you losing and the weight off and within a week I bet your scale will jump. #6- Boost your protein to 80gms daily. Drink as much fluids- 64z or more. I drink 20oz of liquid ISOPURE daily- that counts twice: 40gms of protein & 20gms of fluid, NICE!! #7 - Consistency is important. Doing something because you "have to" sucks. Doing something because you "want to" greatly changes how and when you reach your destination. So I could tell you- you HAVE to do this- but that wont improve your reason for doing it. It comes back to how motivated you are , your level of committment and knowing why you are making the effort. ( which is 1-7) #8- THE BENEFITS: you feel great about yourself. you feel happy and confident. You carry this over to other areas. I Know- I suffered from depression a lot. Exercise- when you reach a certain point and consistency- releases "endorphins" This is also known as the "runner's high" . Endorpins are the body's natural " feel good" chemicals released by the brain. The MORE you do it- the more are released and the better you feel. NO KIDDING. Its why people become addicted to their workouts. I KNOW- when I stop working out- I miss how GOOD I feel and feeling good will get me to the gym- especially after a bad day at work- or any day. I even got my butt to the gym on Juy4th because I committed. Perspective is everything in life. So- I offer all this to you- and all the Post Ops *****ad this. Maybe it will give you a shot in the arm to keep going. We all need it . I wish you all the best. Hugs Donna 325/212/150

AMEN SISTAH!!! You ROCK Donna!!!! Lori

Hijack Hey Lori- it worked- I got my message board pic changed - becuz I read your post on how to do it. I didn't have a clue. LOL It took a day for the update. THANK U SISTAH! So that is my most current pic- taken 6/15. I think I look good. I was head to toe in white. Shirt is from Victorias Secrets Jeans are sz 16 from Target And my shoes were white sandals 7 1/2 (whole sz smaller) But I think thats why its so important to take pictures..it motivates me to say U know what? I can be better, I can do better.. I want to get into that size 10 bathing suit EVENTUALLY. I dont care if it is XMAS. LOL Everyone is given two lives: the one we are born with and the one we make. And remember nothing is final. Today your book begins- the rest is still unWritten. (I have that video on my profile) and I borrowed the glitter message from U Lori. Mine says "Release Your Inhibitions".. check it out when you have time. Hugs & Thanks Donna

WOW! That is an awesome post Donna!

I was told protein Drinks do not count toward fluid intake. That it takes the body to work hard to cleanse the protein thru, that you need just plain water 64 oz or more. So technically you cant count that.? I have one of those scales that tell you your hydration level, and i cannot get that sucker above 43%. According to it i am totally dehydrated. I drink (on most good days) anywhere from 60 to 80 oz of water a day. Usually i put some S/F stuff in it for the taste, cuz sometimes i just cannot do plain ole water. Do you think having a cofee a day is stopping me from getting hydrated? I am not motivated to get busy exercising. I know this, but i dont know how to change it. I told my hubby to come walking with me, i'm not the only one in my house who needs to lose weight. He is getting a lil pudgy, and my dog is just plain fat...poor girl. i am going to start TODAY walking at least 3 times a week. I know it's not much but it's a start. Thanks for the support!! D

Hi D, I read your original post and can really relate. I live in Brighton, not too far from Aurora. Maybe we can find a way to exercise together once or twice a week. I know exercise is my main problem too lol. I just don't like it, and no amount of telling myself that I do like it is going to help. Anyway, if you would like to chat email me at [email protected] . Look forward to hearing back from you...

Hi Shelly, Yea someone who is in CO. Yea maybe we could get together someday. Right now i have been really commited to going walking at least 3 days a week. I take my Pudgy Pug, since she too is watching her figure. I actually have not been minding it too much. I have been going pretty late in the evening to avoid the real hot weather. my emaill addy is [email protected] if you ever want to email me. Thanks for posting! D

I second Donna's response... Keep you chin up girl & hang in there... Make up your mind to do it one time....you'll like it so much, you'll keep wanting more.... keep us posted...we're here for you Tammy