I AM SICK AND TIRED
I am sick and damn tired. I'm sick of trying to pacify jealous a%$ people, sick of being considerate of others people's feelings. I'm sick of hiding my happy feelings because somebody else can't deal with it. I worked too damn hard to get where I am and I should be proud of myself and I should shout it out loud and be excited that my clothes are smaller and I can breathe and run if I want to. I think as bigger people we spend so much time pacifying others, being ignored, hiding our feelings and caring for others that when it's finally our time to shine we don't know how. We sometimes feel ashamed that we love ourselves so much (at least I do) and feel like we're conceited and all we talk about is ourselves (again, at least I do). Well damn it, I deserve to talk about myself, all damn day, I'm fly as hell and I look GOOD. I'm bout ready to tell some people that I'm really sorry that their weight loss attempts aren't working like they want them too and that I'm sorry that they're mad that they can't fit my jeans, sorry that they can't be happy for me like I'm ALWAYS happy for them, sorry that they are so damn self centered that they can't see what I see. Sorry, but I'm bout to bust loose (in a good way), sorry but I AM HOT, sorry but this sister is now feeling herself and it is okay for me to do so. Why do we feel like we have to validate our feelings? I'm through with it, sick and tired and I'm not going to do it anymore. If they don't like it then get the hell off the boat cause this sister is floating on (with my size small life preserver). LOL. I can't do it anymore. When talking to certain people I have to edit my conversation because they are unhappy with themselves or think I'm bragging. I'm not bragging (at least not all the time) sometimes I'm in shock or disbelief that I could actually do something or fit something and I just need to talk about it, I've never been this size in my life (and if I was I can't remember it). This is new ground for me and sometimes I need help navigating through it. If you can't talk to your friends and fam then what the hell... Sorry I'm rambling but I needed to get this off my chest because I'm sitting here pissed and I know that it takes way more energy to be mad then to be happy. Thanks for listening and if you hear somebody shouting out, "Yeah I'm a skinny B, so what" then you know that's me. XOXOXO
Clarissa 
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