Why did I test myself??

Oh, why did I test the junk food waters? Like the true addict that I am, I have discovered a way to eat junk without dumping and I am beating myself up royally over it. I went all this time without testing the waters, and this past week I took that ONE cookie, and then another and then another until I had eaten 10 in just a day and a half. Of course the old me would've polished the entire bag off in that day, but I am terrified that I'm going to fall into a downward spiral. I am regretting my choice to try that cookie because now I am obsessing over junk food. It was so much better when I was afraid to put dumping to the test. Now I am literally grazing all day...on the wrong food! I feel like such an addict...it's horrible! I wish I could detox or something. This takes much more than willpower to fight this thing! I've done exactly what Tammy has suggested (and my therapist) and started my food journal up again. I can definitely see the mistakes I've made...but I don't know how to get back on track. I mean I KNOW what I need to do, but this sugar demon has gotten a grip on me again. I've gained a few pounds from this last week of binging and I'm afraid that since the gaining has started that it will continue. I am absolutely terrified...I can't fail at this! I've had so many complications that to think I could possibly gain my weight back in addition to ruining my digestive tract is too much to bear! Don't mind me...I'm just venting here. I know tomorrow will be a better day and I'll just start over. Five pounds gained in a few days is scary, though. And I know I'll probably gain a few more before the losing starts up again...I read a while ago that weight gain can take up to 3 days to show up after the overendulgence...? I wanted so badly to get below 200 and I know I've lost ALOT, but.... Toni

Hey Toni, The weight gain is a great wake up call. I gained 3 lbs in basically 2 days 2 weeks ago and that was my wake up call. I went out and bought a high protein meal drink to eat for breakfast to help me jumpstart my own little 'back on track' jumpstart. I managed to lose 7 lbs in one week, bringing me to goal last Monday! Now, a 3 lb weight gain in 2 days followed by a 7 lb loss in about 5 days told me that it was probably water weight/loss. I don't care, as it gave me the wake up call I needed. Like you said, start again at the basics, stop beating yourself up, and know we'll help all we can. Dawn

Toni, Like so many of us said & have had this said to us... The first step to facing the problem is admitting you have one. Great job on the journaling. Keep reminding yourself throughout the day that you will succeed & beat this inner demon ... Remember, none of us want to be a weight loss surgery failure. Keep telling yourself that you will not allow this to happen to you. You may want to get some sugar free cookies or healthier snacks to have around. THROW AWAY THE EVIL SUGAR FILLED SWEETS.... they are doing you no good being accessible. Keep posting on here...we're all here to help you. If you want...do a daily post of what you ate.... You may find others will find that helpful as well.... Also, try to attend a support group....there is unbelievable support & suggestions there. Keep your chin up, we will fight this together. Email me if you'd like. I'm here for you. Tammy

I'm with you TOni. I got below 200 on May 9th, got all the way down to 197.5 but my scale this am says 200 again. we both just need to get back on the horse. Ihave discovered Hershey's sugar free chocolate it only tastes a little different from the regular hershey's and they make several types from turtles to the mini chocoloate bars. Also, I have gone to the Nabisco 100 calorie cookie snacks, like the oreo snaks or they have a peanut butter cookie type snakc that tastes like nutter butter cookies. when I am craving the junk foor, I grab a bag. NOT the best snack, but only 100 calories and it feels like I am cheating cause I can eat the whole bag! If you want a "buddy" to keep you on track, you can email me. Maybe we can help each other get and STAY below 200! Debbi 289/199/185/165