It's 12:30 AM and I can not sleep. Monday I had one of the worst experiences of my life. When it was all said and done, I up blood. This scared the living crap out of me. I saw Dr. Steinberg today, and after discussing all my issues and symptoms, he thinks I have an ulcer in my pouch. I am waiting for the upper GI and also have to have my intestines screened within the next few days- then back to him on the 25th followed by an endoscope and possible SURGERY... Honest to God guys, After the first one in August, My ICU stint, and emergency surgery on December, I don't think I can do another one.... I know there are several of you out there that have endured worse....Many has been 10 times worse then what I have experienced, I am trying to calm myself down but DAMN IT!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!!... SIGH Denise

Well...........I was walking around my neighborhood with my nephew, he's 10. A man in a truck rode by and yelled "Hey Baby." My nephew was baffled he looked at me and said "You must have lost alot of weight because I never seen a guy talk to you like that, Don't tell Keith (my husband), he'll be mad." It is so funny how kids view things, he never expected in a million years for a man to look at me. (Geez was I that bad looking?). Just thought I'd share my funny story. I was actually pretty tickled. --Marianne 256/153/140-goal 120-dream

Marianne!!!!! YOU LOOK AWESOME!!!!!!! I thought I'd check your profile and pics since we're OH twins, same date/same starting weight WOMAN!!!! YOU LOOK GREAT!!! Look at you. You need to change your posting pic (as do i!!!) I was really bad about pics during this whole journey, which I truly regret since I don't necessarily "see it" until I see old pics, etc. But, wow!!! Congratulations Now I gotta go take some pics, you inspired me! Great job girl! norma

Congrats K! That is awesome news! You must be so proud! Keep up the good work! --Marianne 256/153/140-goal 120-dream

wow Kim, I totally understand. i have never really suffered for male attention (although often times it wasn't the men i wanted) but with every pound i lose, the interest grows. I too go back and forth from being flattered to being pissed... "where were you 95 pounds ago?" is the biggest question i want to ask... and i'm stubborn, so i am sure i am making it harder than it needs to be. lol However, when i get done and step off my soap box, there is one thing i always force myself to remember... "this is the world we live in". we can spend the rest of our lives trying to make it different, and sure we can touch some lives along the way... make them see people in a new and different light... however, we live in a visual world... i can be alone and fight the fight or date and get the fact that not every guy i meet is one that turned away from me when i was fat. whether we would have or not is something that i will NEVER know... by judging him on that, it's no different than me being judged for being 300+ pounds! what i have done is smile, swallow my pride, fear, and worry, and tried to just enjoy the ride! good luck (to us all) Laurie 303/208 170