DSer here- no problems with NSAIDS. I take them all the time. -joanne s 277/162/150

This is really hard for me to come here about, but I need to find out if I am the only one feeling like this. Since my surgery my sex drive has been next to nothing. Most of the time I don't even want my husband to touch me or even put his arm around me. It is really taking a toll on our marriage. He has just recently started being very emotional about it, and it is scaring me. I keep telling him that it isn't him. It isn't him. I LOVE HIM with all of my heart, and it is killing me that I don't want to be intimate with him anymore. He complains that I don't kiss him anymore, and I don't even hold his hand anymore. I'm even uncomfortable talking about intimacy with him. I can't understand this. It is tearing me apart knowing that it is tearing him apart. I've been told...just be more affectionate...he'll be better...but I really don't want to be. I've never been like this in my life. There is a lot going on in my life right now, and I'm hoping that all the stress I've been under, and my body changing so drastically in the last year is the reason, and it will all change. We are financially strapped...close to losing the car, and unable to pay some other bills...I'm driving 80 miles round trip to my full time job everyday, and work a 2nd part time job on nights and weekends. My weight loss has really slowed down and it is frustrating me...and it scares me that when I look in a mirror I don't recognize the person staring back at me. Not to mention a handful of other stressors.... I love my husband more than life itself, I just can't bring myself to be affectionate right now. Am I the only one? Please help me...I can't take this anymore, I cry everyday over it and it isn't helping matters any. Judy

...I would like to share this month's rant from Susan Maria. I think we all need to read it. I can honestly say that while I may not be so good with the food sometimes (but I think I am most times , I take my vitamins RELIGIOUSLY, and I make sure my protein intake is AT LEAST 80-100 grams a day. Take your vitamins, please. And don't forget: Protein is KEY for us. Not enough protein=muscle mass loss. If nothing else, think about this: The HEART is a muscle. Does that give you a good perspective of what can happen if you neglect your protein intake? I sure hope so! ----- http://store.bariatriceating.com/thismonthsrant.html I just had the privilege of spending a week attending the American Society for Bariatric Surgery annual meeting in Orlando, Florida. Engaging in casual conversation with the top surgeons in this field, discussing vitamins, protein, calcium, and compliance issues was an opportunity that I won't soon forget. I was as excited to meet some of the 'famous' surgeons as I would be if Mick Jagger stepped up to my pink and black BariatricEating.com booth. Now... why this is a rant! These surgeons cannot fathom that after they save our lives that we have the audacity to be picky about nutrition! The way many of them see it is that we are NOT living up to our part of the deal. They perform life altering surgery to save us from a certain early death from morbid obesity, their office staff does battle with our insurance company to pony up tens of thousands of dollars to pay for our surgery as it is surely the only means by which we will survive, yet we are lackadaisical about putting a small pile of vitamins and minerals into our body every day, and are boldly noncompliant with protein requirements. The docs are even more incredulous about our pickiness with protein. When I would give them a taste of Vanilla Very Berry or Fuzzy Navel, their eyes would have a twinkle and they would love the taste but they would question as to why this was even an issue. It is cut and dry with the surgeons; they think it is a given that we do what we are supposed to do. These are no-nonsense men and women; when something is broken, they fix it. Some of them could not believe the letters and stories I related to them and had no idea that noncompliance was so widespread. Here is a message from your surgeon... Pick up the protein drink, the calcium, and the multivitamins and take them. There is no negotiating, there is no looking for a compromise, and there are no valid complaints about graininess, taste, or smell. Pick up the glass and drink the protein. Chew the tablets. Swallow that mouthful of calcium or vitamins. Period. We saved your life on that operating table, now do what you are supposed to do to maintain the health we have worked to give back to you. Fortunately there are drinks that taste good but as I have said before; if in order to be sitting here in size 10 jeans I had to drink a glass of toile****er every morning, I would gladly do it. In fact, if I had to drink a glass of water from my neighbor's toilet every day I would do it. Why is this so difficult to comprehend for some of you? Do you take the label morbid obesity so lightly that you don't think you have to perform certain tasks, that you have a responsibility as a post op. Look up the meaning of MORBID. That should be enough to scare you. Why would anyone not do what they were told when given a new lease of life with so few strings attached? I used to think that making pre-ops jump through hoops for weight loss to qualify for surgery was cruel but I have changed my mind after a year of speaking to thousands of pre and post ops. With so many people facing insurance rejection, how can we make sure that the ones who will not hold up the end of the bargain are put at the end of the line for approval? I think that strict compliance goals are a great way to weed out the disobedient. If you can't lose 10% of your body weight before surgery, you don't deserve to have it. If you can't stop smoking, you don't deserve this procedure. If you can't manage to choke down vitamins, calcium, B-12 and protein; too bad, let someone have the surgery that will. We all can mange to stick to a program short term. We are all experts at losing weight. We just can't keep it off; which is where the surgery comes in. It gives us the means of control we lack. As you can tell, this is NOT the week to write me an email and tell me that you cant 'tolerate' the taste of your protein, or that you cant 'tolerate' your chewables or your stomach feels 'icky' when you drink your protein. I have little lenience for weakness and whining. It will take a long time before I allow much room for the helplessness that I so often hear. I can't stand the word 'tolerate'... it is pure baloney. About 3 years ago I read a 'tough love' essay by an OH member named Leilani, and one line in particular resonates in my head; 'If this surgery doesn't slap a backbone in you, nothing will', as it is so true! Just do what you are supposed to do. Figure it out and make it happen. Thank goodness we have products that make it easier to stick with the program but the bottom line is that it shouldn't even matter. Ciao, Susan Maria ----- Angie http://www.geocities.com/tiger_angie

You look great Shelley! I just got my new picture in my profile today too! Joy Lap RNY 8/31/04 395+/253/180

Thanks Kristy! You look AWESOME! Congratulations!! Shelley