can't get it together! :(

HELP! I can't seem to get it together! I was banded 3 1/2 months ago and lost 63 pounds....the last three weeks I've only lost 3! I can't seem to get my act together to eat right and exercise! I'm pretty sure it's not a plateau because I can see all the horrible stuff I'm eating! I just can't make myself stop! I have a lot of stress at work (like no one else does, right?) and my family (I still live at home) is driving me nuts, even though they know it will make me eat! I tried changing my hair, and wearing nicer clothes, make-up and all the things that usually snap me out of this robot mode, but they don't seem to work. I think I just need a reason to get up in the morning and say "let's go!" I just don't know what to do anymore. I find I'm so obssesed with food it's making me crazier than before I was banded! Please help me! Becca

Becca, Go back and read your profile- it is filled with your personal reasons for having this surgery. Nothing better than having your own thoughts and dreams to look back on! You should be happy with your success, but not so much that you've decided that you are done. Can you go to a support group? Talking with others might help. If not, just try to focus on your goals- do you want food to run your life? I think not! Just say no... Michelle

Michelle that is a great idea... I htink I will too because I've been in a runt for the holidays and feel like I have not or will not lose enough weight... good luck Becca... may be we can stay in touch and be eac others support... Lisa

Yeah I agree with Lisa, it is a GREAT idea to go back and read your profile. I think I will also. I am at a point where I am starting to feel like I never had surgery. I can eat pretty much anything I want so I am starting to fall off track a bit. It will be good for me to read about where that got me. Thanks guys, and good luck to you. Much Love, Shelli

Dear Becca, You may want to consider talking with a counselor. I know that many of us were required to see a psychologist before having surgery---and this may be one of those times when you could use an unbiased, sympathetic ear. You need to work through the reasons you're not in control of your diet. Whatever it is, it has control of you now, as it did pre-surgery. Don't let this (whatever it is) sabotage your hard work and your sincere efforts. Get in with a counselor as soon as you can and talk it out! About 12 years ago, when I was going through infertility treatments and discovered my father was dying of colon cancer, I sought help and it really changed my life forever. I will never regret taking that step and asking for help in an area where there is still so much misunderstanding and fear. You're not crazy for seeking help! But, you'd be crazy not to! We all love you very much and want you to succeed! Keep us up to date and apprised of all your victories----big and small. ~Laura

Thanx so much for your advice. I did have to talk to a counselour before the surgery and she told me I might need to see someone after as well. But being the stubborn 18 yr old I am, I thought what? no way! I'm fine, who needs a "shrink"? I guess I do! I already mad an appointment this morning, for a few weeks from now (first one they had). Thanx again for making me realize that I can't do this alone. Although great friends like the one on this board really help! Becca 489/425/170

OMG!!! I just wrote I'm 100 pounds heavier!!!! Let's try again! Becca 389/325/170 whew!!!

Good for you, Becca! You won't regret this decision for a moment, I am sure of it! It may be as simple as taking an anti-depressant for a little while, or maybe you can just work through your issues with some good, old-fashioned one-on-one counseling. A combination of the two is sometimes in order. Either way, you've already made the biggest step----you've made a call and have established an appointment. Remember that you're not alone in this, and I remember how hard it was to still be at home at age 18----and wanting to be independent of my parents. I used to buy my own groceries and hide them in my closet from my parents. They made fun of all my diet foods and soups and little Melba toast crackers that I divided into single-sized servings. Of course, none of my efforts eventually prevented my becoming obese, but I am on the road to a better life now. Even at age 40, I can still remember the angst of being a teenager....and the freedom and joy I felt at finally leaving home at age 19 to go to college. It was like diving to paradise! You'll be there soon enough.....and although it seems like forever right now, when you get to my age, it will all seem like the blink of an eye! Enjoy your youth! Embrace your new and better self! You are going to be just fine!!! Love, Laura

You might want to check out Overeaters Anonymous. They have a website. OA's focus on abstinence is really all about sticking with your foodplan. I've met quite a few wls people in the OA meetings I attend. I've found that OA is, for me, just as important of a tool as the surgery because it helps me work through the emotions behind the food.

Becca: I can totally relate. I am a July surgery date, and my weight loss is also slow. I am struggling constantly with my food choices. I was sure this was going to be the answer, but it is not. I don't regret having the surgery for a minute. But we have to remember that they did not operate on our brains. There is still work we have to do, each and every day. I live with the shame and frustration of obesity on the days I don't have it together, and then I am excited for each new day when I do have things in place. Since the weight loss is slow and unpredictable for me, and the stresses are ever present in my life, I have to rely upon my faith to ask for G-ds help to get me through this. Sometimes, I think we forget to pray! If you believe things are "beshert" or meant to be, perhaps this is the difficult and bumpy road G-d intended for us to travel for the lessons we are to learn. The truth is that we really CAN stop eating, and can start exercising we just make choices in the moment that we regret later. Don't be afraid to be honest with your loved ones and ask for help when you need it. Whether that is for help in food preparation, or in getting the garbage food out of the house, or in encouraging you to exercise its OK to ask for help. I know I am so used to using food to placate when I am stressed that I just do it naturally without even realizing it. Thank G-d I have this " grouchy pouchy" to help remind me. Bottom line is that I think the surgery is a tool G-d gave us. One of many at our disposal, its up to us to find a way to use them each and every day. I hope your time is going easier. I understand your frustration especially when we are losing slowly and know we have so far to go. If you need some support feel free to e-mail me. Shabbat Shalom- Marcy