I'm having difficulty accepting compliments

Does anyone else find it hard take the compliments people give you now? People are telling me on a daily basis how fabulous I look. Calling me skinny minnie, or other things implying that I'm thin...which at this point...I am not. I just usually say thank you, I'm not there yet! It's making me quite uncomfortable because I don't feel like I'm a success story yet. Does anyone else feel this way? JUDY 359/282/167? -77 lbs.

Yes, I can completely relate. My father in law will say it really loud whenever I walk into a room. He'll be like hey look everybody skinny is here. and stuff like that and I get so embarrassed because the whole restaurant will turn and look and I know they are thinking to themselves, what the hell is he talking about? lol. It is embarassing but I just think eventually when he says it it will be true. so untill the day it is I just smile and bru**** off.

Oh yeah Judy I am definately having a hard time with the mind catching up with the body. I have people walk up and say you look so good keep up the good work. I just kind of stand there stupified. I never did take compliments very well. Even that standard compliment of you have such a pretty face thing. Hopefully time will help. But I hear it takes a long time. Continued success Jackie 263/211/135?

The compliments are a bit embarassing. Especially since I still have so much left to lose. I just smile and say thank you then change the topic. I think the worst thing is eating with other people. I just feel like they are watching to see how much I can eat or what I can eat. Patty

Oh my Gosh Patricia, You are sooooo right. When ever I go out to eat with people or have anyone over for dinner they are staring at me the whole time. Because after about four bites I am full. So my friend pulled me aside and was like "I have been watching you eat and I think it is unhealthy how little you consume." that is the first time ever in my whole life someone has confronted me on eating too LITTLE!!! I cracked up and told her it was all under medical recommendations so I was ok. I just laughed to myself. Shelli

Dear Judy, I saw my mom's extended family today for a Christmas get-together in south Alabama. The last time most of us were together, it was a month before my WLS. Everyone was surprised I had lost so much weight (about 60 pounds since they last saw me.) One of my aunts just kept obsessing about it all day. That got a little old, but she wasn't too loud about it. When I hugged all my aunts and uncles, I noticed that they patted my back a little harder than they had in past years. Funny thing....I am not sure it that was a conscience effort on their part or just simply the fact that I was feeling their pats for the first time in years since my pads of back fat have melted away. Hummm? I'm kind of getting used to the compliments, and honestly, I don't really mind. Most everyone has been tremendously supportive, and if they haven't, they've kept their mouths shut about it. I have been surprised that my mother (a WLS veteran from 1980) has been my biggest "fan." She is so proud of me and tells everyone how happy I am and how good I look. And yes, I am happy and I do look much better. My mother in law, although supportive of my decision for WLS, is the most vocal to me. She's proud of me, but she'll make more of the "skinny minnie" comments than others will. I let it roll off. She struggles with her weight also. My baby brother probably said it the best. He whined tonight and said that he was sad that he was no longer the skinniest of all his siblings! I had to laugh! True enough, I have finally passed him and actually weigh less than he does for the first time in his entire adult life. Before WLS, I had a pretty good self image. When I looked in the mirror, I really didn't see an obese person looking back. In fact, if it were not for the occasional photo someone would snap or an unexpected glance in a department store window reflection, I wouldn't see the fat on me at all! I just saw the same girl I was at 17 and 18! While that is not all bad, it's really not all that good either. Now, instead of concentrating on how I "look" in the mirror (since that hasn't really changed for me after losing 60 pounds,) I take stock in how different I "feel." Not only do I feel more energetic and notice that it's easier to sit for long periods of time with my legs crossed.....I feel less skin around my chin and neck. I feel my bones in my hips and my ribs. I can wash myself easier.....my clothes fit great! I wear smaller sizes, even in shoes. Of course, everything has changed except how I feel about how I look. I still see the 17 year old in the 40 year old's face, but now I can be fairly certain that others can start to see glimpses of her too. Like I've told many people-----this weight loss process is 99 percent mental and emotional! I think it's all about self-image and self-acceptance. I am thrilled that this surgery has given me a tool to allow my body to follow suit with my mind. For me, it's been a miracle! Good luck to you along your journey! ~Laura

Wow, Laura, you really hit the nail on the head! I, too, am having a hard time dealing with the compliments. Sometimes, I just wish people would forget about it. After all, I'm not only a body (fat OR thin!) walking around - I'm ME! It reminds me of the extreme focus people place on how we look. I didn't like it when I was obese and I don't like it now that I'm merely fat. I've lost about 76 lbs so far and I am just now starting to see changes. My husband had to get out the before pictures for me the other night and put them out side by side my now pics for me to really "see" the change. I sure feel alot better, though! And, that, after all was my goal - so I guess I really am a success! Ha-HA!