Confessions of a new post op

Since my surgery, I have all new feelings and emotions. I feel so strange and so scrutenized- that I almost feel paranoid... In regards to the ICU... I am a bit that I have lost 4 days of my life that I have no account for. I literally have lost time that is gone. I am very to be alive. I am to be able to start this journey now. But I also am just as about everything now that I am post-op. Just like I was a weirdo going in, I am now a weirdo coming out.... What do I mean by this? I prepared myself and expectations based on everyone elses experiences. -I can drink 8 oz's in 10 mins no problem -I can drink ALL of my protein shakes no problem -I can take all vitamins no problem -I AM HUNGRY! (and not head hunger )- I am so damn hungry that I cry and to the point that my stomach growls and burns....I never had hunger issues prior to this surgery. -I can eat a whole semi soft cheese stick in 15 mins with no prob. -I can eat 1 Tblsp of peanut butter in 20 mins with no problems -I can eat 2 Tblsp of Ramon noodles mashed with melted cheese. What I am NOT () trying to do is get sick or cause damage prior to my first visit to the surgeon on next Wednesday. However, I CAN NOT continue to sit here and starve. I called the surgeon ...His suggestion..Prefer that I DO NOT eat, however, if I do please stay to soft as possible foods. I can Not Eat... Broth Sugar Free Jello Applesauce Mashed potatoes Any sugar free fruit flavored anything... And this is Driving me NUTS!!!!!!! When I got home Tuesday, and weighed I had gained 12 lbs more than when I weighed in for my surgery. As of today, I have lost 20lbs whi*****ludes that fluid. I feel weird and strange and not like anyone else here. I had to place a call to Hope and she connect me with someone else who has the same "abilities" I have and that makes me feel better. I now feel like I am an alien..... I am now weird. I feel like I have nothing I can offer as far as posts to others- I just feel totally out of sorts. I don't like how I feel.. I feel BLAH Denise

Denise: Sorry to hear that you are feeling so Blah. Sometimes I feel like I could eat more than whats on the list too. Especially when I have the soup, it's so good. Did you see a nutritionist, maybe sit down with her and tell her that the food plan you are on isn't working for you and you need some changes. My sister did that after 10 days out and had her plan altered to something that worked for her. She kind of bypassed half of the soft stage and half of the pureed stage. Get the nutrionist on the phone as soon as possible. You shouldn't need to suffer through this. Patty

Hi Patty, Yes I have seen a nutrtionist and the issue is I am trying to do the right thing not screw it up. I just needed to speak on it as it is making me upset. Thanks, Denise

Denise, dont feel bad momma Im in the same boat. I had my Surgery 8-9-04 and I'm 13 days Post Op now and I'm trying to get my eat on. If I see some broth, jello, or ensure I'm gonna gag. Hell I had some bacon and eggs this morning. I know this does not sound very supportive but everyone is not the same so there may be another direction to take to knock the weight down and get you on track but don't feel bad I'm not happy about this lil liquid diet myself but I'm glad you posted because sometimes when you read the post on here it seems everyone is doing fine. Stick in there

I am so with you guys. My surgery was 8/9 also and I am starving. I have slipped in some stuff like a few nuts and paid for it dearly. I am so sick of being hungry. I am also sick of drinking. I keep thinking there is a light at the end of the tunnel and there will be a day I can eat popcorn again and no longer be a diabetic. We have to hang in there...the surgery is done now...no other choice.... Karen