Help! Getting scared l l l

Well today was certainly a busy day! I had my pre-op done at Centennial Women's Hospital, then it was off to Dr. Houston's office for Consultation and meeting with nutritionist, then woof off to Evelyn Frye center for Psych Eval. Man what a long day! But everything is done, psych eval approved and I'm ready to go. GREAT, huh? Then why all of a sudden am I scared???? I'm not scared of the surgery, I'm scared of the everything after. The What Ifs. What if I fail? WhaT IF I get so hungry I can't stand it? What if I wish I'd never had it done? etc. Did anybody else do this? I even woke up in the middle of the night last night and thought "what in the world am I doing?". How, if any of you went through this, did you work it out? Is it just jitters or do I have a REAL problem? I want the surgery, feel it is the only way, and am not afraid to die - so what gives??? Duh, I feel like such a dunce Sorry, I'm rattling. Would appreciate any advice,etc. Jeanette (8/25/04)

I am doing the same THING!!!! The what ifs are what are eating at me... not the surgery itself. What if I cant eat this way, what if I don't get enough liquids in, what if I am chewing gum and I swallow it by mistake!! Will I have to carry a barf bag everywhere I go.... I dont think we are crazy. I think it is pretty normal behavior. I am just thinking long term to get over it. Being able to walk pain free, run again... No back aches, nice clothes, no double chins...etc We will make it through with flying colors! We are worth it! Good luck! ~J~ 08.31.04

Hi Jeanette, You need to have faith and strength to believe that you want this bad enough to make sure you do what you need to do. You have done all the work of getting this set up so you know how badly you want it. Set your sights for the goal and you will reach it.

Hi Jeanette, I've also been dealing with the "what if's", but my thoughts are not really about the effects of the surgery on my life, but on the lives of my family. Having looked into wls for a few years now, I realize that it is something I need to do in order to improve my life and gain control over my disease. However, it is a huge step we, as wls patients, take in our lives and the feelings connected with making hard decisions are there to be worked through. While there are plenty of "scary" what if's you can ask, try reminding yourself of all the uplifting what if's. I'm confident that you'll see that there are just as many if not more positive what if's as there are scary ones. And remember, there are a lot of us here that share your feelings and we can help each other work things out. Take care!

Hi Jeanette! Yes, you are normal! I asked the same questions just 6 short weeks ago!!! When you go through some of the profiles on this website, it could down right scare you. All I can speak from is my experience. I feel WONDERFUL! Yes, the first 5-6 days were a little rough, but I think it was mainly because I was so full of gas from the surgery! Once I found out I could take 'Gas-X', I felt a little better each day. I even questioned myself the first 5 days as to why I had done this to myself. I stick to my doctor's orders when it comes to eating and walk around the block everyday and I have done fine. Don't beat yourself up for feeling a little nervous...it's normal

Hi Jeannette, Let me tell you, you are on the way normal side. I was a raving lunatic, i cried every night for a month, i wrote letters to my loved ones explaining that if anything happened to remember my great love for them and my wish to have this surgery.I mourned food even before the surgery, having all my favorite things in large quantities. Then the big day came and i cried all the way to the hospital(crazy i know****pt thinking i can back out anytime i want, i dont need to explain myself to anyone,i said that all the way into the O.R. So that was the 22nd of July just last month.and so much has changed I no longer crave what i cant have becuse i know i will be able to have it again, in sensiblle amounts, like a regular person just not right away.As i introduce new foods again everything tastes better, crisper, and a few bites fulfills you in all ways. As my face begins to come out of its old fat shell that 3 bites of lasanga doesnt move a double chin up and down and by God that cures all cravings mentally that i ever have. You will cry afterwards also because of hormones dont confuse it with depression, if you feel blue get help call on your support team thats what we are all there for.Food and whatever limitations we have become secondary to this new life we have, I have a thirteen year old boy and our lives together are just begining now we can exersize, take walks bikride, do winter sports, all those things i have missed, Rollercoasters?(not in this lifetime) lol. Anyway embrace this tool you will not regret it..... Love ,your looser friend Debbi

Thank you all for you words of encouragement. It's good to know that my feelings are "normal" and typical of others. I thought I was turning into a real "weanie" and was wimping out. I go to my therapist this evening so hopefully we'll work on some of my issues. I am so thankful for this message board and all of the information, support and tips it provides. May God bless each and every one of you for your help. Jeanette

What wonderful replies! Was nice to have some recent opst ops give us some words of support and encouragement....there are so many emotions and it is nice to hear we are just like everyone else!! Thank you all for the posts! jeanette- You will do great...keep us up to date on how you are doing. Tab

HI!. I just had my RNY on Aug 4th at Fountain Valley Regional in California. I got home from the hospital two days ago. I know what you are going through..about the fear thing. I was scared right before the surgery too! I'm glad that I had to take all those tests pre-op, because it slowed me down enough so I had time to work things out mentally. My biggest nightmare was that it wouldn't work, or that I would die on the table. Then there were stupid (but panincky fears) that I would be super thirsty and not able to drink. Actually, the last one was one of my biggest. All I can say, is I decided that I had to go through with it, and made sure I was in the most competent hands available. I asked an incredible amount of questions. This made me feel better. Also MY WORST FEAR DID COME TRUE...on the way home from the hospital, I became dehydrated and super thirsty!!! I had to stop and go into a resturant and sit there with ice cold glasses of water all around me, but sip my one ounce cup only once every five minutes. But you know what??? it turned out to be no big deal, and I didn't panic like I thought I would. I just took my time. I decided I could sit all day and sip water if that's what I needed. I guess my point is, don't freak out. It's normal to question life changing decisions. I don't think you'll be sorry! Take your time. Take some deep breaths and remember why you started this journey in the first place. You are going to be fine!!!!