Your Crowd?

here's a question for you..... So far, how many friends / family members have you asked to be at the hospital and how many have "invited" themselves? I am going to have my husband take me. My sister will get there while I am in surgery if she CAN get the day off. If she can't she said she would just see me that evening. My parents are divorced. My mom plans to come from NC that day and stay for a few days. Then there's my dad, he lives with my grandma, she sort of invited herself. And my mother in law invited herself along too. I dont need a freaking audience. I'm very modest and I DO NOT want these people looking at me while I'm butt naked in nothing but a hospital gown, No underware, no bra. I've told my husband that he is to be the first one to come in and check on me post op, and if I am grumpy, which I am sure I will be, for him to tell everyone to hit the road. I know if they come in there, I am going to say something mean. (i'm just like that) How do you tell people like your grandma and mother in law to stay home? I'm having surgery, not a freaking baby. Leland Lap RNY 08/04/04

Hiyah Leland There will be no crowd for me. Just my best friend who is my Mom. Anyone else who wants to come will be given a straight NO. When I'm sick (cold/flu,etc) I don't want anyone around I'm sure I'm going to be a a wench. I sure as heck don't want a freaking audience either. Don't these people realize I'm going to feel like crap when I come out. I won't tell them the hospital just the city its going to be in. Its a 2 hour drive hopefully that will deter other family members. God luck with your crowd Jackie

Hi Leland, Boy I hear you. I don't have it to the degree you do. But, as much as I love my kids I really dont want them there at all. I guess right now I am so tired. I just want to be away from everyone. My thing is I have had so many things to handle on behalf the all three kids the last year and a half..I am on burn out. Late last night my oldest called home...she is working in another state at a camp for ADHD kids..and is a nurses aide there. It is a summer job. I told her not to worry about coming home for my surgery. I dont want to worry about her on the road. Which is true...its a five hour drive one way..and she only gets one day a week off. But, I didn't tell her that "mom" kinda wants to be alone. I told my 8 year old that not to worry about getting me flowers as the rooms are small. I told him he can make me a picture for when I come home. I will tellmy mom when she comes she doesnt have to worry about trying to be there a lot for me..as I am tired and I will be ok. I know she will respect that. I know once a day for my little guys sake they will have to come see me. I will welcome him with a hug. My teen doesn't do hospitals well. So, I will give him my blessing not to come. He couldn't stand going to the hospital last year when he sister was there because she came close to dying...a different long story. That is how I will handle and am handling that issue. My husband will be at work during the day. I dont know if he is taking my surgery day off or not. He has not been with this new compant too long. We shall see. I just want to get there and tune everything out for a bit. Mary Lap RNY Aug. 4 2004

My husband and youngest son (17) will be coming to the hospital with me and waiting through the surgery. My oldest son and sister will be coming up that night and my parents. I really hope thats all that will be there. I think the first day I just need rest more than anything. I am sure my parents would like to be there during the surgery but I am going to tell them just to wait to come up when they can see me rather than sit there all that time in the waiting room. It's a good hour and a half drive to the hospital then to have to sit that long isnt really much fun. If I had my way I would tell them to all come up the second day when I am up and about. Patty Open RNY 08/09/04

For me it will be my husband and one of my best friend's who had the surgery almost two years ago who will be there. My family is from another state so will not be around and I do not want my husband's family up there as it will be too much. Really don't want them all seeing me at my worst!!!! By Friday my kids will have to come up to see me just to be reassured that I am okay. My sister-in-law will help with them the first couple of days and then my friend will take them over the weekend. Hopefully by then I will be home. Ginny 8/4/04

We really have not talked about it much yet. My husband was in the field when I got the good news about my date. He is going to take leave during the whole time and then some to be with the kids and our little zoo. Since we are in the militray overseas there is no threat of his family showing up. My family is over 2 hours away from the city I am having the surgery in. So it will really only my man coming and maybe one day the kids. I like it that way because I am grumpy when uncomfortable. Life is great, getting better. Have a great day. Sabine

Gosh, I wish I had the problem of too many at my side! My surgeon's office is 2 1/2 hours away out of state from my home and he requires his patients to spend 2 whole weeks (including the hospital time) in the city. So, I'm trying to line up my resources to have company for the majority of the days I'm away from home. Hubby and mom will spend 1st 5 days while I'm in hospital, then hubby for the next 2 days, then my son for the next 5 days. Hopefully, I'll be okay to stay by myself sooner rather than later. Oh, well. I'm sure hoping that all the schedule rearranging I'm having to do to have DS instead of RNY will be worthwhile in the end. Good luck to all us Augusteers! -joanne

Joanne, I know how you feel. I elected to pick a surgeon 2 hours away, but only because he will do the RNY Lap on me (I was 521 pounds). I am glad my mother-in-law won't be coming, though. She gets on my nerves. She's the kinda person you ask, "how are you doing?" and she gives you a list of her medical woes! UGH!!! I have to stay in the city for a week after surgery. So I don't mind too much that my family can't visit. But it would be nice to have some friends visit. *~Amber~*

Hopefully no one but my husband.. but I know my family.. They will come.. lol.., but I think they will abide by my wishes and not be there during the surgery and wait til I am ready for company.

Hey Leland, As far as I know my hospital attendees will be my soon to be hubby and my sister (providing she can take the day off) if not another family member or friend may step in.....dat's all folks Shay