question time continued

Ok i know i have read a lot of horror stories on relationships post op on my state board. How has wls helped or hurt your relationships with friends and family. I have seen a very high divorce rate lately. As for me, it's ok, just going through hard times right now that i am unemployed (and the money hasn't kicked in yet from unemployment). As for friends, i don't have any of my old friends now, but i have gotten a lot of new friends and lots of great friends from the board. I know our attitudes have changed, but more seems to be of jealousy and control. What do you all think? Are your husbands or wives crowding you now? Are they jealous more now than before? I think my husband has gotten a little insecure, but he seems to be getting better. Hugs Linda

My marriage has not suffered because of my surgery. In fact, I think it has benefited from the positive changes. My health is better. I don't have as many aches and pains. Other things are better too. My husband has never been the jealous type, but he does get a kick out of occasions where men might give me a second glance or turn their head as I pass. That's nice, I think. We will celebrate 20 years of marriage this Christmas. We may go on a cruise to celebrate! ~Laura

What a very good question. It made me think. I only told people who were closest to me about the surgery and they were all very supportive. Thank God! I have really tried to concentrate on the health aspect rather than looks and I think that helps. I have noticed from time to time a little awkwardness but we usually were about to work it through when they realized that I am still me. I read or heard somewhere that for every 20 pounds you loose you have to renegotiate your relationships. It may be true, but fortunately my friends were my friends regardless of what I looked like and still are. Family has been pretty good too. I have had to negotiate around men a little differently. That has been good for me because I think I used my weight to keep men away. Now I don't have that and I have had to learn different social skills. All good. I hope to some day be married but I'm trying to be selective. Anyway, I don't know if that actually answered your question but it gave me great food for thought. K Reed

I've been quite fortunate in this area. DH and I have a wonderful relationship and are expecting our first child in just about 18 more days! We'll also be celebrating our 10 year anniversary this fall. As for jealousy...he's never really been the jealous type and he loves the fact that I have energy to go out and do things now. My friends have also been supportative and I haven't lost any of them. I'm feeling quite blessed in this area. Kristy EDD 8/6/06 - 18 more days... 37w3d It's a girl - Alice Kay

Wow Kristy, you don't have long now. I am so excited for you! It could be anyday now, so let us know when it happens. I wish you and your hubby the best. Hugs Linda

Thanks Linda! I'll be sure to post when we have her! Kristy

Hello Linda, I got food posin drinking an Horchata (rice water). My doctor said since it has been so hot lately, the drink I bought was bad. I'm hanging on. To answer your question, it has had its ups and down in the relationship and with family and friends. It's true the wife is happy I am thinner, but now she complains I am too thin. She says I am not the man she physically married. My kids love it because I can play with them. This older man can still outplay them. I guess many times it is difficult when they haven't had the surgery. Hey, what it is most important is that I am healthy and happy with myself. Concerning family and friends I will leave for the next question. Always happy to hear from you and take care.