2 years down and now alcohol Issues

So typically I'm just a lurker, but I've been struggling lately and not sure where to turn.

I'll be 2 years post-op July 16th and it's just been an amazing ride.  I started out at 379lbs and am at 211...working on hitting one-derland soon.

Lately I've noticed a huge change in myself with alcohol.  I've always been a drinker, and quite frankly, I teetered on having the surgery for fear of the transfer addiction.  Well, it definitely has creeped up on me and is starting to affect my relationships.

Over the past few months, I've noticed that even when I just want "one" I drink to the point where I pass out.  (Which truly isn't hard with this chopped up stomach) but I know it's not healthy.   I've got it down to a science.  I drink tequila mixed with crystal light, vodka on the rocks or I brew decaf iced tea and mix tequila in with that.  I'm realizing how sad this is as I type...

I'm just wondering if anyone else out there is having the same issues.  I've seen a few post here and there, so I know I'm not alone, just wondering how you are all dealing/coping.

Maybe I'm delusional, but I'm hoping to find a balance.  I do want to drink socially, but I don't know my limits and I'm not sure if I really can.  Every time I think I have my patterns figured out, where I can just use it to relax, I end up taking it too far.

My husband is very supportive of my surgery efforts, but I know this is taking a toll on him.  He's constantly my babysitter, for we never know how I'm going to react and over the holiday weekend, he did let me "let loose" and instead of passing out, I ended up lashing out at him for no good reason.  It's just embarrassing. 

As pathetic as this sounds, I'm reading this knowing what it sounds like and I can hear myself saying "Girl you need AA", but I'm hoping I'm not that far gone.

Thanks and Happy 2 Year to everyone!

I say listen to your inner voice.  If deep down you feel like you need AA you may be right. i come froma a family of alcoholics and drug addicts so I too was very worried about transfer addictions.  Fortunately I can't tolerate alcohol since the surgery -  any little bit goes straight to my head.  But I am still battling my food addictions.  They are very powerful.  People don't take them as seriously but trust me they are.  I started the Kay Sheppard program and i tried to modify it so i could still indulge a little bit, but I finally reallized I can't.  If I could I wouldn't have been 367lbs.  I hope you can find support from someone who is also struggling with alcohol. But I just wanted to say that if it's bothering you enough to reach out for help, maybe you just can't drink socially.  We really have to figure out a way to cope with our demons now that we can't stuff them with food. 
I really like the aftercare program that my doctor had, but I do think that they should probably include some type of emotional care at about this time in recovery.  By now the weight loss has stabilized and the real problems seem to begin. 

God Bless,
Lisa

Listen to your "inner voice". It's usually correct.

In the mean time, work on portion control and set limits for yourself. Good luck with your endeavors. I have a very close friend who has been very happy and succesfull going to AA. You need to find a group that you feel comfortable in. Not all are alike. If you don't like your first one, find another to compare it to. Good luck.