Why do I let it get to me?
My sister drives my batty! She means well and is totally supportive but sometimes... 
She works in a big place with loads of people and several of them have had the surgery...so now my sister is an expert on the topic...all 120lbs of her, lol.
We only live about 20 minutes apart, but we talk on the phone several times during the week. And this is how it goes...
She almost always starts the conversation out with...So, have you thrown up yet? Because I guess she has seen some out at her job be sick after eating.
Then she will ask me how much I have lost and when I tell her she says... Wow, you are losing it so slow. When (insert someone's name at work) came back to work after her surgery she already looked skinny.
After that she will include...But you're doing it the right way. Slow is best, keep losing it slow.
And much more...
I know this probably seems highly dysfunctional, but my family is very close. When I go hang out with friends, those friends are my brothers, sisters and cousins. That's just how it always been. Throw in the fact that I'm the youngest of 6 kids by a large margin. There is 9 years between me and #5 child. Also, we have already lost my parents (I was pretty young at the time. I was 22 with dad and still in college and 28 with mom and 9 months pregnant) so my siblings have always felt, I guess, a sense of responsibility. Plus she is just plain bossy to everyone!
Correcting her or putting her in her place doesn't work. I have done both and she'll just start over the next time we talk on the phone. And ignoring the phone doesn't work either, lol. She calls the cell and if I don't answer, she calls the house. She knows there is always someone here.
I guess I will have to live with it and just laugh it off. Thanks for letting me vent.
She works in a big place with loads of people and several of them have had the surgery...so now my sister is an expert on the topic...all 120lbs of her, lol.
We only live about 20 minutes apart, but we talk on the phone several times during the week. And this is how it goes...
She almost always starts the conversation out with...So, have you thrown up yet? Because I guess she has seen some out at her job be sick after eating.
Then she will ask me how much I have lost and when I tell her she says... Wow, you are losing it so slow. When (insert someone's name at work) came back to work after her surgery she already looked skinny.
After that she will include...But you're doing it the right way. Slow is best, keep losing it slow.
And much more...
I know this probably seems highly dysfunctional, but my family is very close. When I go hang out with friends, those friends are my brothers, sisters and cousins. That's just how it always been. Throw in the fact that I'm the youngest of 6 kids by a large margin. There is 9 years between me and #5 child. Also, we have already lost my parents (I was pretty young at the time. I was 22 with dad and still in college and 28 with mom and 9 months pregnant) so my siblings have always felt, I guess, a sense of responsibility. Plus she is just plain bossy to everyone!
Correcting her or putting her in her place doesn't work. I have done both and she'll just start over the next time we talk on the phone. And ignoring the phone doesn't work either, lol. She calls the cell and if I don't answer, she calls the house. She knows there is always someone here.
I guess I will have to live with it and just laugh it off. Thanks for letting me vent.
Girl - I feel you! My mother does the same damn thing.... every time I see her or talk to her.... HOW MUCH HAVE YOU LOST? Or... my favorite - "Ooooh... I'm sooo happy your back isn't as wide a movie theather screen any more". WHO THE HELL SAYS THAT?
Family.... can't live with em..... can't live with out em!
Family.... can't live with em..... can't live with out em!
AT GOAL in 336 days...!
SW / CW / GW
299 /174.5/ 175
6' tall - size 10
SW / CW / GW
299 /174.5/ 175
6' tall - size 10
I feel ya girlie..
My family didn't even want me to do the surgery.. I think it is a way they feel like they always have something to hold over your head... like ooh yeah..she's very smart and acheive her goal.. or she has a pretty face but she's so fat... I mean I think they now know it's a new YOU.. they do love you .. but you know HATER's come in many forms.. including our families.. they see you getting skinny chica!! If they are not talking then worry.. if they are talking you are doing an awesome job!! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!
My family didn't even want me to do the surgery.. I think it is a way they feel like they always have something to hold over your head... like ooh yeah..she's very smart and acheive her goal.. or she has a pretty face but she's so fat... I mean I think they now know it's a new YOU.. they do love you .. but you know HATER's come in many forms.. including our families.. they see you getting skinny chica!! If they are not talking then worry.. if they are talking you are doing an awesome job!! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!
Lisa 
I think you need to be firm with her...
I know you said correcting her or putting her in her place doesn't work, but I think you need to seriously let her know how it makes you feel and that you love her, but if she continues, you'll cut her off until she does....
I think people don't understand that this wasn't an easy out for us...this is damn hard work....and we go through enough stuff mentally beating ourselves up...we certainly don't need the ones that are supposed to love us adding to it.
I suspect that this isn't the only area of your life where she has 'conveniently asserted her opinion and questions'...you need to let her ...YOU GOT THIS... Ask her to just be your positive support cause you already have a team of qualified professionals that kinda know what they're doing...so she doesn't need to be that.... and the job of judge doesn't belong to her either....
Good luck sweetie....
I know you said correcting her or putting her in her place doesn't work, but I think you need to seriously let her know how it makes you feel and that you love her, but if she continues, you'll cut her off until she does....
I think people don't understand that this wasn't an easy out for us...this is damn hard work....and we go through enough stuff mentally beating ourselves up...we certainly don't need the ones that are supposed to love us adding to it.
I suspect that this isn't the only area of your life where she has 'conveniently asserted her opinion and questions'...you need to let her ...YOU GOT THIS... Ask her to just be your positive support cause you already have a team of qualified professionals that kinda know what they're doing...so she doesn't need to be that.... and the job of judge doesn't belong to her either....
Good luck sweetie....
There is always one in the family!
Doesn't it drive you crazy when people become experts on you and what you are going through. Especially when it comes from family. Try not to let it bother you. I know it's hard. You are the only person who can be considered an expert on you!
I have a family member who knows a few people who have had gastric bypass and now she has also become an expert on everything weight loss surgery related. When the topic of excess skin came up she told me that her friend who had RNY is looking into plastic surgery because she'd rather take the easy way out then exercise.
Needless to say, I'm certain that I'll be doing my fair share of venting. That's what we're here for I suppose...to support each other.
You sister probably has no idea what she is saying and how it effects you. Maybe you can remind her of the old saying "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all". Don't answer your cell or the home phone...tell her you have a sore throat and want to communicate via e-mail - then maybe she'll have to think before she speaks (types). It sounds like she means well she just doesn't think before she speaks. Of course she'll think your throat is sore from excessive vomiting.
Hang in there!!!
Doesn't it drive you crazy when people become experts on you and what you are going through. Especially when it comes from family. Try not to let it bother you. I know it's hard. You are the only person who can be considered an expert on you!
I have a family member who knows a few people who have had gastric bypass and now she has also become an expert on everything weight loss surgery related. When the topic of excess skin came up she told me that her friend who had RNY is looking into plastic surgery because she'd rather take the easy way out then exercise.
Needless to say, I'm certain that I'll be doing my fair share of venting. That's what we're here for I suppose...to support each other.
You sister probably has no idea what she is saying and how it effects you. Maybe you can remind her of the old saying "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all". Don't answer your cell or the home phone...tell her you have a sore throat and want to communicate via e-mail - then maybe she'll have to think before she speaks (types). It sounds like she means well she just doesn't think before she speaks. Of course she'll think your throat is sore from excessive vomiting.
Hang in there!!!
Maybe you should tell her nicely that unless she has actually gone thru the surgery then she cannot fully know or understand everything that goes with it, and that everyone who has the surgery is different and looses weight differently.
I love my hubs but every night i fix my plate of food and he comes by and goes oh hon isn't that to much food for you? I know my limits and 95% of the time i have food left on my plate, he means well but I wish he would stop saying it all the time.
I love my hubs but every night i fix my plate of food and he comes by and goes oh hon isn't that to much food for you? I know my limits and 95% of the time i have food left on my plate, he means well but I wish he would stop saying it all the time.
Consult weight 329
surgery weight 318
current weight 177
goal 165
surgery weight 318
current weight 177
goal 165
I have a sister that if we lived closer, I can see her saying the same thing. And about the time I had surgery, my sister in law went on this starvation diet....I think to make sure we were NEVER close to the same size. She asks me how I'm doing, then proceeds to match up...she was a 10 and now she says she is in a 4...and she is tall, so......
Anyway, we are great, right!!!! And YES, some of us lose much slower than others!!! I listen to stories of people that have lost twice as much as me in the same time...I try really hard not to compare myself.
Hang in there kid! You are doing what you are supposed to do!
Anyway, we are great, right!!!! And YES, some of us lose much slower than others!!! I listen to stories of people that have lost twice as much as me in the same time...I try really hard not to compare myself.
Hang in there kid! You are doing what you are supposed to do!
Julie
I have one sister that is totally supportive and then another one who is always trying to one up me. She started this crazy diet and diet pills about 2 weeks before my surgery and when we had family functions she would go on and on about how she is losing weight and steal my thunder. Oh well. I have passed her up weight loss wise and so I feel better about that. In the end, it's great that we are getting healthier. Even my mom has lost some weight. It makes family functions easier.
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