Scared to put on a bathing suit - waiting for surgery - what to do?
Maryann G.
on 6/8/09 7:11 am - East Bridgewater, MA
on 6/8/09 7:11 am - East Bridgewater, MA
We have long-time friends with a pool who want to invite us over every Summer. Before it wasn't such a big deal cause I had lost weight but then gained it back plus. Of course, I am the only fat one and as much as I love my friends, I dislike going there in the summer because I feel so self conscious. You see, my friend's mother can't keep her fat comments to herself. It's always..oh you've lost weight, oh you look great in this top even if it's a really large size! Or the eyes go up and down sizing me as we say hello. ...and the mother always tells me she loves me to boot! But I feel like crap there being fat.
Anyways, I used to get mad. My husband felt bad for me and said if it ever happens again we just leave or he would say something to her, I always say, no don't she's old, she's 76 - but I knowthat's no excuse. He enjoys the pool. I decided two summers ago not to go there in the Summer - I used every excuse in the book. I've already been emailed my friend said she's going to invite us to the pool as soon as the weather's nice. Her parents are always there.
I am not letting them know about the surgery. I also don't know what to do. I'm even heavier now than I was last summer by 20 lbs. It will be well into August before I start seeing my weight drop where I would feel comfortable seeing them. Am I the only one that feels this way? I don't even feel like leaving my house some days.
I have two other (normal weight) friends without pools and we get along terrific. Along with my husband, these two friends (both are nurses too) know about the surgery and are very supportive.
The pool is what terrifies me. Me in a bathing suit around other people. And I love swimming so it makes it hard.
Has anyone ever gone through anything like this? I just feel like a reclusive. I can't wait to get the surgery so I can be a little more comfortable in my body.
Anyways, I used to get mad. My husband felt bad for me and said if it ever happens again we just leave or he would say something to her, I always say, no don't she's old, she's 76 - but I knowthat's no excuse. He enjoys the pool. I decided two summers ago not to go there in the Summer - I used every excuse in the book. I've already been emailed my friend said she's going to invite us to the pool as soon as the weather's nice. Her parents are always there.
I am not letting them know about the surgery. I also don't know what to do. I'm even heavier now than I was last summer by 20 lbs. It will be well into August before I start seeing my weight drop where I would feel comfortable seeing them. Am I the only one that feels this way? I don't even feel like leaving my house some days.
I have two other (normal weight) friends without pools and we get along terrific. Along with my husband, these two friends (both are nurses too) know about the surgery and are very supportive.
The pool is what terrifies me. Me in a bathing suit around other people. And I love swimming so it makes it hard.
Has anyone ever gone through anything like this? I just feel like a reclusive. I can't wait to get the surgery so I can be a little more comfortable in my body.
SW: 239 - Surg W: 238 - CW: 219 - GW: 140
Well there are a couple ways I can see you solving this...
1. Don't go, make excuses and do other things this summer.
2. Tell her you'll come sometime when her mom's out of the house.
3. Go regardless. Screw her mom! Who cares what she thinks or says. She's just another idiot who doesn't know anything about the struggles of those who are obese. Ignore her completely, comment back on how much older she looks this summer.... throw her dirty looks, whatever makes you feel better and able to handle it. (I'd probably choose this one) NO one's comments or opinions should stand in the way of you want to do. You'll be taking a huge brave step this summer to do something wonderful for yourself and your health, and I bet it's more than you're friend's mom has ever done or could ever do.
4. You could invite her to go elsewhere with you this summer. Tell her to come with you to go swim in a lake, etc. if you really want to swim and you don't like her mom's comments.
1. Don't go, make excuses and do other things this summer.
2. Tell her you'll come sometime when her mom's out of the house.
3. Go regardless. Screw her mom! Who cares what she thinks or says. She's just another idiot who doesn't know anything about the struggles of those who are obese. Ignore her completely, comment back on how much older she looks this summer.... throw her dirty looks, whatever makes you feel better and able to handle it. (I'd probably choose this one) NO one's comments or opinions should stand in the way of you want to do. You'll be taking a huge brave step this summer to do something wonderful for yourself and your health, and I bet it's more than you're friend's mom has ever done or could ever do.
4. You could invite her to go elsewhere with you this summer. Tell her to come with you to go swim in a lake, etc. if you really want to swim and you don't like her mom's comments.
Maryann G.
on 6/14/09 9:37 pm - East Bridgewater, MA
on 6/14/09 9:37 pm - East Bridgewater, MA
Thank you for the boost of confidence.
I'll try the sarong. It sounds like fun anyways.
Your vacation sounded wonderful.
Irene
I'll try the sarong. It sounds like fun anyways.
Your vacation sounded wonderful.
Irene
SW: 239 - Surg W: 238 - CW: 219 - GW: 140
Most Active
Recent Topics
