guilt and worry

I am worried and have over welming guilt as I had to pay for my surgery and we borried the money from our 401 k plan the fact is I have never had a good self worth image I have a loving and supportive Husband and family the problem are the guilt over the cost and I am having food issues and guilt over the food intake I know I am not eating too much but I worry, my body had changed so much I am having body issues the skin is sagging so much and I know that if we do anything about we will have to pay for that too ,I have lost 170 lbs and I am proud of that I have been in hospitol 3 times with dehydration issues and throwing up I am so stressed out, is this normal am I crazy do I have normal feelings about this and so family member keep asking when I will stop losing weight and why are your arms so big , I never thought this would be always on my mind I am proud of what I have done but I have trouble with these issues please advise thanks Cindy

Wow Cindy. You have done fantastic but with all the fast weight loss your mind had not kept up. You need support. Try to come online when possible. Also try and go to local support groups. My surgery center has one once a month and I try and go when ever I can. The support will help you deal with body image. You will be with a bunch of people going through the very same thing. All of our bodies aren't perfect but we are healthier. Perfect is unreachable, that's why Photoshop was invented. Focus on what you have achieved in one short year. Money issues well those are always here and now more than ever everyone is feeling the pinch. You did borrow for this surgery to be healthier and that worked. Just do what you can every month to put a little bit back into the account. You need to step away from the guilt because that will hamper your health. Don't look back. Heidi

WOW! yes, I said WOW what a great accomplishment you have made. I can understand the worry but, you should not feel guilty for doing such a positive thing for your overall health. I have and go through worry over regaining the weight. I think it is the way of eating we have had in the past. We also have to restructure our way of thinking along with the new way of eating. I struggle with snacking and my greatness weakness is crackers. But, I am working on that. Take things one day at a time and I agree this site is a wonderful source of comfort with others that truly understand what we face on a daily basis. Best to you, Karen

A few things you said really resonated with me.
First of all, what you're experiencing isn't that uncommon.  The new body that WLS surgery gives to us sometimes comes with a new way of thinking and a new way of seeing ourselves that can be uncomfotable.


The weight may go away, but you will have to do some work on your head. I know I have.


Take this time to focus on you, and getting used to your new life.  No more guilt!!! Because of this surgery you are granted a new healthier life, you will be around for many years to come  because you are winning over obesity.  You are valuable, you are loved, and YOU ARE WORTH EVERY PENNY YOU SPENT!!!


I don't like my skin either. My boobs are sad, and I have mud-flaps between my thighs.  Plastics will be in my future someday, but I still have about 50-60 pounds to lose. So what.... I can climb stairs, I can run, I swim, I buy normal size clothes, I fit in chairs with arms, I can do lots of things I never dreamed of.


I still have issues with food, and I've found great comfort in talking to a professional about it. I don't overeat, I don't eat enough!!  I have this irrational fear that I will gain the weight back and I starve myself....I'm a borderline chubby anorexic!!



You are not in this alone and I'm glad you posted, get connected, get support and don't shy away from dealing with your issues. You're on the right track!!  Good luck to you!!! :)