I FEEL FAT!

saphireset3
on 3/30/08 2:51 am - Yuba City, CA
Okay, I've lost 100 pounds, am now at 163, wearing a size 8 and S-M shirts, so why do I feel "fat". It's not jus****er weight or bloating as I've been feeling this way for a few weeks now. I feel self concious in what I wear and how I look. Like someone is always staring or judging me just like before I had the surgery. I'm constantly getting compliments from people, yet I'm finding that I'm criticizing myself, "sucking it in" and avoiding things like I used to. I know it's all in my head and I'm sure it's normal and will pass, but jimminy crickets! Anyone else going through this? I AM Stronger Than Myself Janice
Andi190827
on 3/30/08 8:27 am - Fort Leavenworth, KS
Yeah, I am too unfortunately. I've been going through it for a while now. I'll look at my most recent progression pictures and not believe what I see. I know I don't look MO anymore but my brain just won't recognize the full change in my body yet. People will complement me and I don't know how to accept it because I don't see what they see. I've explained it like everyone telling me the sky is green but I am seeing blue. Then I'll take a picture of the sky and sure enough it is green. But aaahhhhhh!!!! It is enough to drive you insane! My brain is really having a time trying to catch up. But I'm told by those years out it adventually will catch up; just give it time.
saphireset3
on 4/1/08 3:23 pm - Yuba City, CA
Thanks, I'm hoping my brain catches back up SOON. I want to feel like my old "new" self, like I did a few weeks ago. Ahhhhh, maybe it's almost over. If we an got through this far, we can get through anything, right? I Am Stronger Than Myself Janice
H A.
on 3/31/08 4:21 am - NOR CAL, CA
I wish I could help you but I've always felt I look thinner than what I am. I see "thin and young" in the mirror. Oh well as long as my self esteem is ok who cares if people laugh. Take a picture, that always brings me into reality. Heidi
saphireset3
on 4/1/08 3:30 pm - Yuba City, CA
I always felt that way too. I never saw myself as big as I was before until I saw a picture of me, my daughter and my husband at Disneyland with Baloo the bear. I looked the same size as Baloo. I still didn't see it when I looked in the mirror, only when I looked at the picture. I've always seen myself smaller, then with the compliments it kinda reinforced what I saw. But now lately, I just feel bigger than I've ever felt. Hopefully I'm almost over this stage, it's enough to drive you crazy! I Am Stronger Than Myself Janice
sallyone
on 3/31/08 7:53 am - DIberville, MS
HUGS You are doing such a great job... you are an inspiration to lots of people, including myself. I feel close to the same way you do. I have currently lost 148 pounds and I know that I am smaller, but I still feel like I take up the same amount of space as I did at 395 pounds. I know it isnt true since I fit in chairs and things differently but I cant see the difference. When people give me compliments I dont just say thank you... I say thanks but I have a long way to go. I dont know why I cant just accept it and be happy. When we go see family I do try and wear my smallest jeans and cutest shirt, just so I look good... LOL I think everything we are feeling is normal and to be expected with the amount of change our lives are going thru right now and eventually our minds will catch up with our bodies. It is just going to suck waiting for that to happen. HUGS to all Susan
saphireset3
on 4/1/08 3:39 pm - Yuba City, CA
Thanks for the words of encouragement. My response to compliments is usually, "Thanks, I FEEL good.", since feeling good is the most important part. It does suck not being able to fully enjoy my success the last few weeks. This mostly started when I hit my 100 pound loss, go figure??? I should feel thinner than ever, not as big as ever. I don't know, maybe I'm unconciously mourning the loss of my old self or something. Sounds corny I know, but I'm hyped up on caffine right now for the 1st time in over a year, I don't know what I 'm thinking! WOO-HOO!!!! I'm just waiting for this to pass.....SOON! I Am Stronger Than Myself Janice
genkigirl32
on 4/4/08 1:26 am
I was trying on clothes two days ago...And was so upset because the shirts in the "normal" section were so short. I have spent so many years covering my lower half, that I can't get used to the new lengths of shirts, and where pants now hit me. I still feel fat...see fat...and want to cover fat. We moved here (Japan) 4 months after my surgery...so I am not having to deal with compliments...the dramatic weight loss was over by then and no one knew me before. I don't know if it is a blessing or a curse. I am terrified of going home though. I think it will be hard to take compliments...especially since I see fat...and loose skin...and thinning hair now! I keep telling my mom that it isn't as dramatic as she thinks. I am 5'11'' --I will never be in a size 6! (She's 5'2'' and has no clue about weight in proportion to height! She was whispering to people that I weighed over 200 lbs...when I was pushing 300!) And, honestly, I want to say, "What was I before, chopped liver?" I am glad I feel better...but I hate it that beauty is measured in pounds. I loved your "Thanks, I feel better," response. I plan to steal that one. I am okay if this is as small as I get...but I still feel that I look the same. Thank you so much for posting. It is hard to be vulnerable...I am so glad to not be alone! Best wishes! Stacie
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