it's been 3 yrs and

I was wondering if I am the only one that felt like I am a big fat failure? I struggle everyday just like before i had surgery. I know that we had surgery on our stomachs not our heads. But I have gained about 15 to 20 lbs back. I had surgery a couple of months ago and every since then it seems as though I can't get my groove back. Am I the only one that is going through this? I have even sought counseling about body image issues and other things but it is not helping. I am suffering with depression so bad I am having a hard time functioning. They put me on meds but they all seems to make me sick. I feel as though I am spinning out of control and ther is no way I will let myself get back to 330 lbs. I am so disgusted with myself. I cannot se what other people see. I feel exactly the same way I did before surgery, Please tell me I am not the only one struggling. I know protein first drink plenty of water and exercise, it just does not seem to work like it did in the begining. Any input would be helpful. Thank you for reading. 

You aren't the only one struggling!
I gained 30 pounds last year. We moved overseas and we ended up living off base and I became pretty isolated. Loneliness and dumb choices led me back to old eating habits and the weight came back witha  vengeance.

So I am back to 184 pounds. When we arrived I weighed 159 pounds and our first month here I lost 6 pounds and saw 153 for a few days. Then we moved....

I know exactly how you feel. I've bought some books on overeating and all that...but some are saying "Eat what you want." and well, that;s what got me here in the first place!

I did realize that I've been wathcing the wrong things in my diet lately. I was only watching protein intake and calories. I've now switched to watching fat intake (my goal is no more than 30 grams a day) and carb intake (no more than 120 grams a day for me). I dropped 2 pounds this week.

I'm walking a bit more, but not as much as I did when we first got here.

I'd really like to get that 'oh so happy' feeling Ihad last year. I felt so damn sexy and proud of myself.
I had to fly back to the states for my grandfather's funeral and I was so embarrassed. My grandmother kept making comments. I just wanted to crawl in a hole and stay there.

Our honeymoon is SO OVER, you know? :)

My goal now is to get back to 153 by my birthday in March.  So I have 8 months... which is exactly how long it took me to put this on!

Sorry I am so late in finding this forum and responding.

I too gained 20+ lbs last year and used the excuse that it was the first year of this marriage blah blah blah but the bottom line is...chips...chips...oh and sugar free cookies. 

I found the 5-day pouch test and I am doing it now.  I need to regain control and feel like my pouch is tiny again.  I got down to 155 during the time around my wedding and ballooned back up to 178..this is NOT acceptable.  Never again am I going to see even 180. 

Today is day 2 of the 5-day pouch test for me and I lost 4 lbs on the first day.  I am encouraged about the 4 lb loss and food isn't sounding real good today.  I have heard people get really back in touch with the size and tightness of their pouch with the 5 day test and I figured anything was worth a try and what was 5 days?  I was scared my head craving for carbs would be too much but so far so good.  I hate the carb monster and have discovered it was never really sugary things that were and are my enemy it is carbs and always will be. I am better off never eating that first cracker or chip because then I want more and pretty soon I'm finding myself in front of the vending machine eating chips....enough already.  

I am trying to remind myself of all the reasons I had this surgery.  I wanted to be healthier...well I am.....but....there are consequences.  I also have to remind myself my pouch is only a tool and not a solution.  I am the solution.  I will admit I haven't worked my tool like I should and that is why I gained 23 lbs...I want to scream at myself in the mirror.  I told myself I would not be like other friends who gained 50 lbs or so at 3+ years post op because they stopped working their tool.  I guess they forgot and I started to as well. 

Don't cave in...fight it with all you are worth.  The reasons we had so much weight on us do not magically vanish with the weight.  Hang in there and keep working on getting your control back.  It is possible and it is not hopeless.  Do whatever you have to do to fight the monster that made you heavy in the first place.  I too am an emotional eater and my life is very stress filled right now so now is the time I have got to get back in control or I will abandon all control and I will find myself not only at 180 but 300 again without even blinking an eye.  

Keep posting and I will watch and maybe we can keep each other motivated.

what is the 5 day poch test?