Mondays Weekly Questions

1. How has and does overeating affect my life not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually as well? 2. Have I excelled at my job or just gotten by? How has wt and overeating gotten in the way of doing my job? 3. What has it been like living with me at home being overweight, dieting and now losing wt? 4. Has chronic unhappiness over my eating problems affected my friendships? How? 5. How has it affected my marriage?

1. How has and does overeating affect my life not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually as well? I had back aches and knee pain. I could hardly walk at times. Yes I was at times the fat lady riding around in the battery operated wheelchair cart at Walmart. It made me depressed and ashamed of how out of shape my body and my life had become. I would not go do things with ppl, afraid that I wouldnt have the energy or the breath to keep up with them. My 60 yr old parents could out walk me by a mile. I was ashamed of how I looked and afraid my friends would be ashamed to be seen with me so I stayed in and hid from the world as much as possible. 2. Have I excelled at my job or just gotten by? How has wt and overeating gotten in the way of doing my job? My job was a sit at your desk and do a little paperwork and the rest of the night I would jus****ch tv....This added to my wt gain. The job I had before I was very active and it was physically hard work. This job has enabled me to wallow in my overeating hell....I called my life. I gained over 100 lbs on nights. However now it allows me the time to work out while Im at work and get paid to do it...NOT bad. Its all in how u take advantage of the free time. 3. What has it been like living with me at home being overweight, dieting and now losing wt? Well most of the yrs my wt was out of control I was at home and alone. However, dieting after I was married was an emotional hell. My husband was my best bud and we ate out 2 or 3 times a day...Its what we did. When I was on a diet it was hell on him and me. He couldnt give up the sweets and sugar and I would be an emotional mess when trying to give it the sugar or caffine. I would go on anti-depressants every time I tried to diet. I would be angry and spiteful. I had a ver short fuse too. Dont know who could like a person on a diet...LOL 4. Has chronic unhappiness over my eating problems affected my friendships? How? As I mentioned earlier I isolated myself and gave up all but one of my friends as I became morbidly obese. I was unhappy and I knew others had to be unhappy with me as well...they were just to nice to tell me. 5. How has it affected my marriage? Well I was obese when I met my husband and was dieting at the time I met him. I just lost about 35 lbs Somersizing and 3 weeks after I met him the diet was totally out the window. We didnt drink or do drugs...eating was what we did. It was our entertainment. Things have been difficult with me losing wt. Hes lost his food buddie but it is helping him to make better choices and he sees that he has to start eating better and taking care of his body. That we are at an age he cant ignore that anymore. There have been times Ive been an emotional mess and its caused a few discussions but now we are better for it. I think we are growing closer together thru all this. We can even stand closer now becouse my huge gut doesnt get in the way now....we dont lose our balance now when we try to hug.

1. How has and does overeating affect my life not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually as well? I've never been an overeater until now, it's bothering me because I feel like I'm not eating enough.I don't know if I'm really overeating, but I feel like it because I'm not losing much weight. Its all in my head. 2. Have I excelled at my job or just gotten by? How has wt and overeating gotten in the way of doing my job? I always excel at my job. It's about one of the only things I prided myself on in the past. I'm a bit of a perfectionist and I always want to get the jobs done effectively and before its due. My weight has been an issue in the past. I did not get a position as an armed security guard at a casino in my past because I didn't pass the physical part of the testing, otherwise it was in the bag. I've also had a lot of jobs where I've had to stand on my feet for long periods of time and have quit because of it (and having depression). As much as people like to think appearance doesn't affect people's decisions, it does. 3. What has it been like living with me at home being overweight, dieting and now losing wt? It's actually been up and down. I used to hold myself up at home. I was drinking heavily and very depressed. I have bipolar disorder and grew up very dysfunktional. Self medicating was the only answer in my mind. It's a totally different story now. I'm sober and treating myself better by attending AA, reconnecting with my higher power, going to support groups, dieting, and exercising. I'm learning to love myself more every day and dealing with the ups and downs of losing all this weight. 4. Has chronic unhappiness over my eating problems affected my friendships? How? I don't think my eating issues in the past affected my friendships physically, everyone loved me regardless. I do have a great personality, it was the only thing I could brag about in my past. However, the unhappiness made life unbearable. I don't know how it affected them because I was so self absorbed with self loathing. Thankfully, that is different now and I'm a better friend than ever. 5. How has it affected my marriage? This is a toughy. Because I have made so many major changes over the past 2 years my marriage is definitely on the rocks. This surgery was just icing on the cake. My husband is supportive of me not drinking, I just don't think he likes my personality anymore. I'm more serious and I'm not drinking away his irresponsible behavior anymore. I think it has more to do with his own insecurities than mine. I'm moving forward and he's at a stand still. He has a lot of fear of me leaving him. I just wish he understood that I don't want to, I want him to "come with me". I think that he likes that I'm losing the weight, but it still adds to the insecurities. Only time will tell. Thanks, Mariah for posting these, very freeing! Amber

1. How has and does overeating affect my life not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually as well? Physically I was a mess, knee problems, short of breath, unhappy, emotionally I hated myself, but I just kept eating. 2. Have I excelled at my job or just gotten by? How has wt and overeating gotten in the way of doing my job? I'm good at my job but I've allowed myself to just get by, with low self esteem I let myself become a door mat to the crappy owner of the company, and I won't do that anymore. People are now seeing a different me, and some will tell me they don't like it, others love it. I'm much more confidante than I ever was before, and I'm ready to tell the owner the next time he yells at me for something to shove it. I've been offered a few other jobs and turned them down because I've been with the same company over 20 years, and the benefits are nice. Now it's actually time to think about moving on if things don't change. 3. What has it been like living with me at home being overweight, dieting and now losing wt? I honestly didn't diet that often, I ate whatever and however much I wanted, that's why I got to be so heavy. As a child my Dad always thought we should be on a diet, he didn't want me to be fat, in fact he would tell us all how much he hated fat people, in the next breath he'd be wanting to go out for Mexican food, or baking a cake that he wanted you to try. Now with loosing weight my entire life has turned around. My husband and I were also CO-addicts when it came to food, we'd go out to eat often, or finish dinner and then a few hours later drive thru someplace for a snack. I don't do this anymore and it's changed his eating habits too. He's much more aware of what's going into his mouth. I don't buy junk food or things that aren't healthy for us anymore. I think the worst thing we have in the house right now might be frosted mini wheat's, and hubby will have those every so often. Our cupboards used to be filled with junk food and all the kids loved coming over to see what goodies we had, not any more! With my Mom I might try to push her to eat healthier than I did before, and I know she can sometimes get annoyed with me. I just tell her I want her around longer. I don't say anything to my brother, I love him and refuse to try to push him, I know how that always made it worse for me. 4. Has chronic unhappiness over my eating problems affected my friendships? How? Other than not being able to do certain things when I was at my heaviest with my friends, nothing has really changed. My best girlfriend says I'm a much happier person now, and she's excited to be able to go ride roller coasters with me again. I love life once again, and I'm not afraid to go somewhere because I might have to walk a bit. We have always traveled, and that was something I never let my weight stop me from doing. Heck, 5 years ago we went to Venezuela and I went parasailing while there. I cared about my weight but didn't let it stop me from having fun when I wanted, for the most part. I was embarrassed often because of my weight, and it always made me eat more. 5. How has it affected my marriage? I've always had a wonderful marriage, I've been married to my best friend for 16 years, and he and I are very happy. If anything having WLS has made life more exciting. It's brought a renewed sense to our marriage. My husband told some friends at Christmas time there was nothing he wanted, he had it all, including a new wife. He said with as much weight as I've lost it was like living with a new woman. His only complaint, and it's not even a big one, is that I'm spending too much $$ on clothes, especially since I won't be wearing them that long. I just smile, because I know how proud of me he is. Jan

1. How has and does overeating affect my life not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually as well? Overeating has controlled my life on all levels until now, I would eat and be happy for all of about a minute and then be miserable because I hated how I looked and how I felt and I just couldn't stand that I didn't or couldn't control myself. 2. Have I excelled at my job or just gotten by? How has wt and overeating gotten in the way of doing my job? I like my job for the most part and put 100% into it. My wt has been an issue because of all my back problem and that of course affected my job and all the time I had off because of my back surgery. 3. What has it been like living with me at home being overweight, dieting and now losing wt? At home before wls I was alway tired, never felt like doing anything with my girls and had no self esteam to want to go anywere with them because I felt like I would embarrase them. And it seemed I was always on a diet, but would "get off" for this meal and I was teaching my children my bad eating habits and my excuses. 4. Has chronic unhappiness over my eating problems affected my friendships? How? I think yes, because again, I never wanted to go anywere because I felt I was an embarresment to anyone I was with. 5. How has it affected my marriage? I am not married but have been dating the same man for almost 11 years and it is the Same as with my friends but worse because I was so hard on him, I had no self esteem and felt like he could do so much better than me, and when we would go out, I would look at other women and make stupid comment like that, "you should find someone like her" or "don't you think you could do better" and of course he always stood by me and made me feel like I was the beautiful one. He has been Wonderful and I love him for all the support and encouragement he has given me through all the diets, my ups and downs and now my wls. Thanks Mariah and Amber for doing these weekly posts, they are wonderful!! Lynette