Need Dating Advise

I met someone!! God has blessed me this year for sure. The women I met has also had the surgery, like me she is a divorsed single parent. We have been to church together and I met each others kids. How do I know if there is more there or I am just excited about being with someone. For myself, I feel like she is someone I want to be with a lot more, I not sure how she feels. Aside from asking her directly, how do i know, how do i proceed...haven't been in this position for quite some time. Thanks and God Bless, Mark Oh yeah, I have lost 90 pounds so far!

Hi Mark, Congratulations on 90 pounds gone forever! I think I know how you feel: my five-month surgiversary is tomorrow, and I've been at an even 75-lb loss three days straight (down from 239)! Yeay us! I'm very happy you've found a lady you're interested in. I say put all your cards on the table, letting her know how you feel and ask her how she feels about your relationship. Honest communication is ultimately inportant, and will likely put both of your minds at ease. This next part probably isn't the answer you're looking for, but my psychologist had told me the month before surgery, when I'd met my friend Ed, to not have anything other than platonic relationships during the first year after surgery, due to all the changes with our body transformation. I am so looking forward to our upcoming session Jan. 2nd, because of what has transpired during the past ten days. He's also Christian, plays in a Christian band, mentors teenagers with religious musical pursuits, is his 13 yr old son's Boy Scout troop leader, has been amicably divorced six years (his 18 yr old son attends a bible college). (I'm single, never married by choice, and no kids). Last week he told me his genuine feelings (mutual!) and that he'd like us to have an exclusive (take it to the next level) relationship. I am fighting raging hormones, and really need to discuss this with my psychologist, even though I am absolutely positively certain of our feelings and trust. We've had so much fun doing so many 'friends' things together during the past six months, that we now have talked about our feelings and intentions. There's already-talked about mutual affection, respect and communication, and certainly from day-one, undeniable chemistry. So Paul, follow your heart, don't be intimidated by potential non-reciprocation. You're at a crossroads: either moving nutually forward , or cut your losses, still be friends, and let things happen as they will! Best wishes to you at this very exciting time of your life! Hugs, Patti

Thanks for the input. I need to gain some perspective. It feels like have chicken soup again after starving for a week. She is the first person I have been interested in years, I think rather than ru**** - I am happy just to have the pleasure of her company. I can be at peace with that. God has a plan. Blessings, Mark

Hi Mark. Congrats on the loss. Isn't it great to meet someone that you have similar life experiences and can share your future with? Take it slow and easy, that way neither of you will be rushed, confused, or frightened. Don't be afraid to share your thoughts, but don't give away the farm either. I love to hear my husband say things like, "I loved going to... with you today" and "did you have as much fun as I did?". That way things will be "fresh" for both of you. You will begin to understand the female responses before long, and, if not, post them...we old married women will interpret for you. We love to do that stuff. Best single friends develop into old married couples after forty or fifty years. Just keep looking forward. ~Diana~

Congratulations Mark! Just take this new relationship slow and easy ... it'll all fall into place if it's meant to be. How wonderful to date someone who has been through what your going through! My husband and I dated 3 years before getting married, and we are best friends ... just a few months away from our 16 anniversary! Best wishes to you! Jan

Update*** Thanks for the advice ladies. Well the other day was a little strange, but if all goes well something beautiful will happen. Our bariatric support group was to meet the day after Christmas. She and I acknowledged that we would both attend. Knowing that she was juggling everything with her children and Christmas, I new the chances for spending more than just the meeting time with her was close to none. To make a long story short, I went out and bought some fat free, bariatric friendly crackers and cheese, sugar free milk chocolate, and water, hoping that for at least 5 - 10 min. I could do something special for her. Well the meeting got cancelled, her baby sitter cancelled (she asked her neighbor to help out), and I did not get to put my plan into action. She called me and we discussed the meeting being cancelled. I was frustrated and just had to know how she felt. So I took a leap of faith and asked her - Hey, I have to know, do you want to go on a date with me or not?! I want to take you to dinner and a movie, and if that is to much I have something simpler in mind, heck we can just veg with the children (hers and mine) and watch DVDs. She replied, YES - That all sounds nice, but just not tonight. I have to finish the Christmas craziness. I said, I understand. She said, I will give you a call in a few days. That is where I left it. So I know that there is chemistry there. Now I get the opportunity to show I have faith in her and wait for her to call. If she does not, then that is part of the risk I guess and it was not ment to be. I figure if I focus on the larger picture, and GOD means for us to be together, then this is one of those things that will have helped bring us togher. Sometimes waiting for something you really want is shear agony, but considering I have been searching for someone like Kim my whole life, I would not trade it for the world. THanks for Listening, Mark