~*`Body image question? Are you seeing something people are not??`*~

Look at my profile to see pics and see the battle. I see myself still so big and everyone is telling me different. I am wondering what the would is so different with me . I cant see it and I am afraid people not in this see me as fishing for compliments. I am seeing a counslor but would like your take on this. Although husband says Melissa you are crazy you look so much different I dont....I guess my brain needs to get with it.... What is your take and do you have the same problem?

Hi Melissa, I had kinda the same thoughts...I went out to eat with my family. Well, the hostess took us to a booth. Even as we approached the booth I was hoping that we wouldn't get a booth. I had a little panic moment as we approached the booth thinking that I would not fit. I slid in and do you know there was too much room on my side - I had to lean forward to hold over my plate!!! I just don't identify with this body that has 80 less pounds yet. It's happened so fast. I'll catch my image in the mirror sometimes and I still feel like I'm really obese although there are a lot of physical things that are much easier now. I don't know if this helps you any. I guess we just have to be patient with ourselves and try to keep up with our current size in clothes!! I think it's perfectly normal what you're going through, hang in there!!! Take care, Sue

The guys in my office always call me skinning now and I get embrassed because I think I still weigh 213 lbs. and I have a long way to go. I'm still a long way from being skinny. I know they are being nice, but I still get embrassed. Sometimes I see my reflection in the mirror and I wonder who is that person. For the most part I feel good about myself and know I look different and better. My husband is happy with the results so far, but he does get upset when I get sick or can't eat something. My brother just got into town from Calif. and I haven't seen him since before surgery. I'm excited to see him. I know he'll be surprised. You are doing great Melissa, just keep up the good work and take the compliments in stride. Working with the counslor sounds like a good idea. Hang in there.Take care. Kathi

I am thankful for all the responces. Its nice to know that people care and to get what you all are going through. Thank you all!

I suffer from the opposite. Which really got me to how big I was at 263. I never saw myself as fat....and now that Im coming down its like Im finally living up to my mental image. I pull pants now and think...holy those are huge..and they fit me, so my mind set is that IM smaller. That somtimes can be just as bad. You are a beautiful girl!! Look at yourself more..perhaps you avoid reflections and mirrors when you should really be seeing yourself out walking around. Chin up.. you ARE smaller! Linda 263/193

I totally agree with Linda - I never looked in the mirror and saw at fat person, and I got up to 374! Now when people tell me I've lost a lot, I feel good, and do see some difference, but still unless I look at my before picture, or any picture of me for that matter that's the only time I see a fat person. Your doing a great job! Jan

I have my good days and my not so great days in the self image department. It kinda seems to depend on the clothes I wear. I agree with the other person that said we should try to stick to our current size. I wore something that actually fit correctly this week and felt smaller....then today I wore an older pair of jeans and a shirt that was slightly too big and I felt bigger...yeah they were falling off of me/swallowing me but I just felt sloppy and big. ALSO, I had a major mind jump (to reality) when I put my pre-op picture next to my 3-month picture. I wasn't seeing it until I did that....then I couldn't really deny it anymore...I AM CHANGING!! My boss (a female) is always telling me that I'm shrinking away...so does my hubby....I try to believe them, some days it's easier than others. Hang in there and try to compare pictures or do measurements and wear the right sized clothes!! Christina S

It's funny you posted this question now, because people keep telling me I'm getting thin, and I'm going to blow away (which is a major exageration). I just see the same old me when I look in the mirror. It does seem to take looking at before/after pics to really see the difference. I get discouraged because I'm not losing much in my waist and stomach. That is where I have the most and where I want to lose the most! I checked out your pics and you can really tell the difference between your brother's wedding and halloween.

For me when I got up to a certian wt I just was in denile about how much I was gaining. I too stopped looking in a mirror....so the picture in my head was the old me. I was feeling worse and worse but...I still had in my head an image of me at 250 lbs...not the 390 I had become. Now I have lost 100 lbs and Im starting to look in the mirror. Well to me Im still larger than that 250 lb person I last saw in the mirror. Well my WOW moment happened this weekend when my husband was cleaning out our Florida room and storing some things in the basement. He found a box of old pictures of me from before I had ever met him. He was looking at pics of my best friend and I from college. He brought them to me and wanted to know how much I wt in them and how old I was. Well I was about 220 in the pics....but my face actually looks thinner now. I was so amazed. Yes I look older(that was 20 yrs ago) but it was amazing how round my face was even at that wt. Today my face is much thinner at 290. So get out your before pics and take some now pics in that same position... When u comepare them its just amazing the differences you can see. Notice your arms and your chin and neck. In my old pics...I didnt even have a neck. I went from my chin to my chest with gross fat. Now its gone. Its just amazing!!!!

lol,,,if your crazy ,,then im crazy too,,,my friends say you look good and that im doing good,,,now i do feel good but when i look in the mirror i still see a fat person,,,,now i know ive lost 68lbs but i could still have the surgery again right now,,,and lose 100lbs more,,,so i still see me as fat,,,,,so good luck and im here for ya,,,,have a wonderful thanks given,, your friend w/a pouch sandy