I'm a mess!

I'm brand new to this site and brand new to message boards...hope this makes sense! I had my sugery 7/11 and discovered via an egd I had an ulcer. Dr. has put me on Nexium...I need to be honest...I'm not doing the program-I'm sabataging myself and I don't know why...we have 3 children under 6 and the baby has spina bifida, needing constant care...I keep throwing up whatever I try and it's close to impossible to get all the liquids and proteins in. What happens if you don't get all the protein in? Do you end up gaining weight or do you plateau? When I went for my month checkup, I had lost 19.5 since surgery but I've actually gained 2 pounds in the two weeks since! What am I doing? What have I done! I'm going to spend some time today on OH to try and come up with some answers...any help would be so appreciated. Thank you, Stephanie [email protected]

Stephanie, I my heart goes out to you, but U are going to have to take care of yourself. If u have a stroke or a heart attach...which is what will happen...u will be of no help to your children. You dont want them to have to grow up without a mom. That would be totally selfish of you. Im sorry to put it that way but this is critical. I know a lady who did just that...and she had a stroke from not taking care of herself after surgery. That is why pre-op teaching is important and why any good Dr makes u sign that u will do everything as they instruct. Protien...Keeps u from losing muscle as you loose the fat. Which by the way your HEART is a muscle.... This is why we are prone to heart attachs when we dont get our protein in. We also can loose our hair if we dont get enough. It is manditory that we get in our vitamins, calcium and B12. I would like to say that this is Major for patients that had the RNY. I dont know what surgery u had. Feel free to email me if u have any other questions. Im willing to try and help you. We cant have those babies missing their mom becouse shes in the hospital or worse... Mariah surgery 7-12-06 394/324/160 Im down 70 lbs today YIPPEE

Dear Mariah, You are so kind to write me back...I think my "purging" (no pun intended!) on the board was therapeutic for me...I need to get myself together and the past couple of days have been better. You are absoutlely right about being selfish if I don't take care of myself...I have to remember that I did this in large part for the kids...it is quite the wakeup call to know that you suffered the loss of a friend from a stroke...I'm terribly sorry for you, her family and friends... I talked to my surgeon who put me back on the pre surg. liquid diet until my ulcer heals...I'm to drink at least 63 grams of protein...of course you are right...my heart is a muscle...thanks so much for reminding me. I am taking all my vitamins and I haven't thrown up in a couple of days so I'm feeling better just from that. You've lost 70 pounds since your surgery on 7/12?! How did you accomplish that! It's just wonderful!! I would appreciate your support so much...with three little ones at home it's hard to get out to the support groups at the hospital...I do have a question for you-how and by what source do you get your protein in each day? How much do you get in? Again, thank you so much for your kind response-it means a great deal to me. Be well Stephanie

Hey Stephanie... This is a tough surgery to deal with and you have a lot on your plate (no pun intended) already. My biggest recommndation is to talk to your surgeon - you paid him/her, get your money's worth. Maybe you need a support group, or a nutritionist. The two pound gain I wouldn't worry about - unfortunately we women retain fluids at the drop of a hat... I'd be more concerned about the protein and the throwing up. and the fluids. Maybe you could try a protein shake - the atkins ones are pretty tasty and have lots of protein and very little sugar... that would help with both the fluids AND the protein. It really sounds to me like you could use an angel or a support person close by - maybe you should post on the main message board or on your state's board. You are NOT alone in feeling badly - this is an extremely tough procedure - not just the operaton but all the stuff around it. I know for me I emotional eat - and since i can't do that it has been pretty rocky. One last thing, as a fellow mom, I did this for me sure but I also did it for my son. he needs/deserves a healthy mother. So do your kids. You need to slow down and take care of yourself so that you can take care of them. Maybe their father could pitch in a bit more for this time period? just until you get on your feet and into a routine with your foods and liquids. If not him, maybe a good friend or relative? Please know that I have found tons of support on this board and you will too. Best - Deb

Please call your DR. If your throwing everything up you may have a complication like a stricture. It's easily fixed and you'll feel better right away. I developed one at 4 weeks out, and felt awful, it just got worse and worse. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers. Janet

Dear Janet, you were so kind to write me back...I have been better the last couple of days...I think my "rant" was kind of therapeutic...I did talk to my doctor and he put me back on the pre-surg liquid diet for a few days to let the ulcer heal...I followup with him this week...Again, I appreciate your kind support and prayers. Be well, Stephanie

Dear Deb- How nice of you to respond to my email...I think it was rather therapeutic just getting the frustration/fear out...You are so right about the kids...part of the reason I did this was for them, especially for our disabled son who needs so much care. I think my biggest frustration is not having lost more quickly...I have a question-is it true or not that if you don't get enough calories that you actually gain weight? Believe it or not, my nutrionist says yes, the surgeon says no...how do you get all your protein in? My doctor put me back on the the pre-surgery liquid diet until my ulcer heals...I don't mind the unjury and he said in a couple of days I could try soft foods again...Fluid retention is a bummer!!! Are you exercizing? I'm trying to walk 1.5miles and I've started lifting weights last week. My insurance had me work out 3times a week (once a week with a trainer) for 6 months prior to surgery...I NEVER thought I would say that I actually missed exercize! My poor husband-God bless him-he's been so sweet through this whole thing...my problem is I don't let him do enough...you know, mom's way is the best way...:) I'm so thankful for the site...it's so hard to get to the hospital for support groups...again, thank you for your kind response. I look forward to chatting with you again. Be well, Stephanie