Make the marathon fit your desires... Smoking: you will quit sooner than later. Asshole: get rid of him before your relationship decends in to full blown financial, emotional, physical, and sexual abuse. There's some codependency in your attempting to save him. Hore**** pure and simple. He's hiding some "stuff." End it in the presence of friends who are great listeners. It's time to visit the campus counseling center! Dave

Ok, Ashley the Spartan, Here's some advice from somebody who has pretty much seen it all and done it all and met them all... Figuring out if HE is Mr. Right is simple - he has to have and have done the following: 1. You matter more to him than his friends. 2. You matter more to him than his work. 3. He challenges you intellectually and makes you achieve. 4. He forgives your times when you splurt out stuff you don't mean it really, and understands why you throw your clothes on the floor or leave the toothpaste uncapped. 5. He calls you to ask how you are for no reason at all than to hear your voice. 6. He remembers birthdays and anniversaries and such because you mean that much to him and his life. 7. He is ok with you just as you are and does not criticize. 8. He actually holds your hand longer than 2 minutes in public. 9. He tries always to do the right thing by you - whether it means standing up to his family or defending your beliefs to his co-workers or friends. 10. He loves you unconditionally - not just when it is convenient for him. 11. He accepts your criticism and welcomes the good things you rbring to his life. 12. He is the type who would clean up after you if you got smashed one night and threw up all over his bed. 13. He loves kids - mostly because they're a reflection of you and he admires you. 14. He kisses you once every day. 15. He tells you he loves you often. 16. He will stay up and watch soaps with you (even though he hates soaps) because you really need him to be there and watch and feel together. 17. He'll be open and honest and tell you you suck when you really screw up and not alienate you but make you feel like he is gonna take your hand and help you fix the problem. 18. He'll walk around the block with you because he knows it's important to you that you want to be healthy and change your life. 19. He'll tell you to quit smoking because he wants you to live a long long time. 20. And most important of all - if he's very much older than you - say, 5 - 10 years or more - he will say, Ashley, darlin, this is not right. Let's just back off this stuff and revisit it in another 5 years, maybe. Let's see what happens and if this is true, it will happen; if not - we'll stay friends. He needs, in other words to be NOBLE and have have some semblance of DIGNITY. Love ya dear, nan p.s. expecting flames from a lot of people who disagree.... but this is what i personally have learned from my experience with men young, the same age as i and much older...

Yeah........I need to remember it too! HA!

Well....that was quite the compliment. THANK YOU!

Ashley- Welcome back- We missed you! Just a few notes-- 1) If you just started smoking quit now-- It is a social stigma nowadays, and anyone you know who smokes will be trying to quit in 3 years. If you need to get a smoking cessasion drug from your doc. 2) Do you know how fun, beautiful, and smart you are? Remind yourself about that-- You need to find someone who will treat you like the wonderful person you are. I know it is hard, since this is your first relationship and your vulnerable, but think about it-- What are you getting from it if you put 98% in and he puts only 2%. What could possibly be the pro in this situation. You are sweet, funny, smart and beautiful. You will be able to have your pick of guys! Find one who treats you well! Hugs! Andrea