Tim Our world is turned upside down when our jobs change. Reading old messages, it seemed that you were ready to move on to new opportunities but stuck in the old "I'm not worth it" mode. That has been, and is, part of my "fat" way of thinking. Now I have to think lean and mean, and it is exhausting! When the worst of the doldrum**** I go out for a walk. I have to get out of my mind and into the zen of physical sensations. Stops the thinking feelings and turns on the body feelings.... yeah man! You, Tim, have been an inspiration for me, lurker that I am. Feel the love, frances

Im all worried about ya hun! Come out and let us know how you are....ok? We love ya Timmy! Malibu

Thanks for all your input. Part of me thinks that she owes me something from when my dad passed away plus she still gets money from my grandparetns (dads side) every year they would (still get) $10,000. We have never gotten anything from my parents not even for the wedding (We got $300, where they paid for my sisters reception ($$$$$). Oh well, I can say this for sure......I sure hope that she won't need anything from me, and that once I get my hew house, IT'S ALL MINE AND NO ONE HELPED ME GET ANYTHING IN LIFE!!! Tammy

Tim believe me we have all "been there and done that"... But remember it is darkest before the dawn. What type of work do you do? This is just a testing time for your fortitude and inner strength and I am sure you will prevail even stronger than before. I have been through so much **** you will never believe, and all I keep telling myself is to remember, "That which doesn't kill us only makes us stronger...." Keeping you in our prayers and thoughts, Sue

Hi Tammy - I have 2 comments on this. Number 1 - its her money and she can do what she wants with it, but you know this, and I'm just acknowledging that I know this too before I go on. That said - Number 2 - I'm 32 - my sister is 24 and my brother is 22. I have always paid my own way (my mother paid 2 years of community college for me), my own wedding, our own houses (selling, building, selling, etc) and had never asked my mom for a dime until this past time we moved - I borrowed $10k to go into contract and paid her back within a month when the sale went through and it was no problem - very short term, and she offered, etc. BUT, what I'm getting at is this - my mother is anticipating paying for my sister's wedding (she's not even engaged yet) and my brother's wedding (he is already married, but haven't had the big party yet) and any time she talks about it, I just bite my tongue. I know finances were different when I got married 8 years ago, but I started feeling like when I borrowed the $10k, why didn't she just give it to me, etc... I guess if I'm completely honest, I did start feeling like she "owed" it to me, but in my head, I know that's not true. I would have just been a big help. To top it off, our mortgage guy screwed up and we ended up with 10k less for repairs to the new house, so I had to come up with the 10k to pay her back, so at that point, I guess in my heart, I was hoping she would just give it to me. I guess my point is that I understand how you feel. On one hand, I'm happy I never got handouts because I'm much more mature and responsible than my sister and brother are, but on the other hand, certain things would be much easier and less of a struggle if I had some help once in a while too. I think if my mother ever gave them money for a down payment on a house, I might actually have a temper tantrum! LOL