My sunday weigh in & a lengthy ramble... I apologize

Hi Folks, I apologize in advance for this little ramble. It starts out okay.. then slowly goes down hill... I just needed to talk & vent. THings have been quite overwheleming for me lately. Well this morning I weighed in at 128.8!!! Part of me worries Im loosing muscle weight instead of fat because I havent been able to work out the last 3 weeks and Ive eaten very crappy. My husband left for a 3 month deployment 3 weeks ago and its been hard to work out my usually 4-5 days a week w/ a 2 yr old , a 3 yr old, and an 8 year old. I normally get everyone down by 9:00 & by the time I get dinner dishes done and clean up for the next day, its 10:00 & Im ready to collasp.I could pay a babysitter , but for even 3 days a week for an hour or two, it would be over a $100 a month. Ive tried tapes & the kids make it impossible to do anything cardiovascular w/o stopping 3000 times... Im just a little down about that. It's just one of those times in your life when things just arent going smoothly. Im also moving back to Atlanta and my husband is very unhappy about that... but he is going to gone much of the 3 years he has left on sea duty & I simply just cant do all alone anymore. Every one of my closest friends have moved away and the other friends I have are single and when we want to go out and do something thats fine, but the kids are not invited. So my weekends are very long and lonely. I would just love to have one single person who I could hang out w/ ....someone who could come over to help you in a pinch, like yesterday. My babysitter came over yesterday morning so I could take my cat to the vet ( he got into a fight and had a huge wound on his leg)... 3 hours later, they still were not done and my babysitter had to go. So in huge tunderstorm, I had to pick up my cat w/ both my 2 & 3 year old holding onto my shorts pocket ( not my hands) as I carried my cat back to the car in the pouring down rain and thunder. I wished so badly I just had one person I could have called to atleast ride w/ me and wait w/ the kids so I didnt have to take them out in such a bad storm... Yesterday my garage door broke also . My husband knew it when he left and told me not to use the garage door often, however the mower is in there and I needed itas the grass was up to my shin. He also left his work bench w/in 4 inches of the center of the garage door so I had to open from one side or the other and not in the middle. His stuff is too heavy to move. So anyways it completely broke and my neighbors had to remove the cables just so the door would go back down. I just dont think my husband realizes just how lonely I am & how hopeless I feel when things go wrong w/ the house I cant fix it. I had to pick up my cat and I couldnt sleep soundly knowing my garage door was open and anyone could walk in while were sleeping or not at home !!! He just calls me selfish and weak & perhaps I am, but I am who I am I know what I can handle and what I cant. I cant do this all alone anymore, I just cant. Again, Im sorry for the ramble.. I needed to get it off my chest.. at times I feel so completely helpless. Aly

Alicia - all I can think of is, hang in there baby. You can make it. Having a support network is a real need, and moving to get one is reasonable to me. Sounds like you need a local sounding board or support group. Doesn't the military provide that for spouses of active military? Have you tried it? Does it help? Take care, and know that we are thinking of you. -Pam

Aly, First of all....don't apologize for the ramble. This is EXACTLY what this forum is about.....lending support to those of us in need! Sweetie! If I were there right now......I'd hug that skinny little butt of yours!!! Your frusteration and sadness leap off the page here!!! I often wonder about how you military wives do it all with your husbands gone so much. It immediately puts you into single parent status as soon as they leave. It sounds like moving might be the best option for you right now. I think you would greatly benefit from having loved ones around to give you support while the other half of your team (hubby) is gone! If your husband disagrees....he should have made things right when he was here to lessen your heavy burden. He sounds a little like my husband, who is a huge procrastinator and sees little value in helping me....or anyone else until it's absolutely necessary!!!! I love my hubby, but he can really be a selfish basta*d at times. Do what you need to do baby doll! You're close enough to goal that it's not going to kill you to let the exercise slip for a bit. Just don't let yourself get out of the habit of at least trying. It's sooo easy to forget to make it a priority when you haven't been doing it on a regular basis. I'm not preaching.....just throwing info out there. I hope your cat is doing well and is on the mend...... Love ya sweetie!! C

So glad that you "weighed in." Ramble on, because sometimes writing it out lets you lay the burden down. Take care of yourself whenever you get the chance, because with three children and a military husband, there are very few chances! Find support wherever you can, even if it means moving to Atlanta. I love Atlanta, but then... I love Virginia Beach! Moving is very stressful... use all the support options that the military has... make them if you need to! I know that it often feels like you and the kids against the world, but people all over are ready to reach out to you. Find them, let them. Love to you and yours, FF

Oh Alicia, I sure wish I could hug you right now. Do not be sorry, or feel like you have to apologize for feeling the way you do. It sounds to me like you are not only NOT "weak," but one of the strongest women I know. I could NOT do what you are doing, I am not that strong. Or maybe I am wrong. I probably would if I had to, just as you are. But what I am trying to say, is that moving close to family is just what you need to do. You cannot do it all without help. Nobody could. BTW, you are looking beautiful! As far as the exercise goes, just do your best, and don't beat yourself up. Keeping you in my thoughts, Cristi

That picture of you and the kids at the Atlanta Zoo says everything! Happy, Healthy, and Insane enough to Lose It if you don't take Time for Yourself! It is truly a wonderful picture that depicts a wonderful life. Keep it, refer to it, and when you feel that it is a lie, STOP and refocus. Enjoy this time! Francie

Aly, .. What wise words you have received from the women on this board today. Take something from each and incorporate it into your life. Reach out for the help the Service wil provide there in Virgina and again when you move to Atlanta. You sound to me like you have made the best decision.. To be around people who love you and care about your family. Start packing up that house one day at a time. And start looking forward to better days. Your hubby is just going to have to get used to the idea that you and the kids need a better way of life. He will come around to the idea. But take action now, start making plans and before you know it you will have provided your family with a better lifestyle. You need to recharge yourself with some family love and be around laughter and good times. let us know how the move is going and we all wish you the best life has to give. peace Mo

Tears have come to my eyes just reading your replies.. Thank you so much guys ~ Just knowing I have an outlet her makes a world of difference !!! Hugs ~ Aly