Here's a question from another board to ponder: How are you treated now?

Here's my answer: What an important and hard question! It should be red hot. Answering it required some introspection. Thank you for spurring that opportunity. Yes, but... I am treated differently in every setting including, among others; home, work, play, church, civic organizations, and neighborhood. I am asked to do more, volunteer more, opine more and be more present. I've always been a cog in the many watches that make up my life, but now, I feel as though folks view me as more crucial (where I was some years back). Is it a matter of interpretation? No!!!! but... I'm again more engaged and not focused on my own issues, which were for the most part health related for the last few years. Frankly, I'm again thinking globally and strategically, something most of us are paid to do. Fundamentally, I'm the same man liberated from some chains that held me from some greater potential. So, I'm seen differently because I am different, and yet, I'm not. May the flames burn bright. I am blessed. Dave

Dave, This is a complex question. It's not cut and dry. Hell yes I'm treated differently! Partly because I'm extremely confident in my appearance now and partly because I'm viewed as normal in the eyes of the world. The biggest differences I see are: 1:Customer service! Whether I'm shopping for clothing or sitting at a restaurant, the service is much better now! It upsets me a bit when I think about it! My money was just as valuable when I was fat. In fact...I spent more! I ate larger meals and bought more expensive clothes (plus sizes are costly). So why was I treated like I had an infectous disease? 2:Attention from men. I don't just mean oggling and flirting...I mean opening doors, smiling and otherwise common courtesy. I was a big fat invisible person before. It's amazing how many times a man would let the door shut in my face or would hurry to step in line in front of me. Shivelry (sp?) is dead for fat girls! 3: Professionally. I am taken more seriously now. I am in the business of making things beautiful, appealing and attractive and I really had a hard time getting people to look past the way I looked. After all, who wants to hire someone to make their home beautiful who can't even make themselves look attractive? This is the part that gets tricky......Are they treating me differently because I'm thinner or beacuse I carry myself differently and have more confidence? Great question Dave! The best food now is........Food for thought! Loves and tongue kisses, The divine Miss C

Dave, I also agree that it a difficult question but here I go!! I too am treated differnet as well as Miss C is. I get alot more attetion from men.They are more friendly and more obseevent of me and more polite. I go to schooland can now fit into the small chairs they have. They are attachede to the desk and before surgery I could' nt fit in them and had to pull up a chair to the desk, boy was that embarressing As far as custermore service goes it is much better also. I dop like the changes that I'm going through and have but it also makes me mad when the same people waited on me and now treat me better than when I was fat. TIPS aren't to good to those people Cheri

*Very* interesting question. I've pondered this myself many times because my friends (who have had surgery) have talked about it so much. Ready for my answer? I am NOT treated differently at all. Keep in mind that I am very tall and not at goal yet (so I may appear to many as still being fat). I have lost almost 180lbs and am not treated much different. Why would that be? I have some thoughts on that. I must admit that I was jealous for quite some time that my friends were being treated different and I wasn't. Hmm, why would that be? I thought it was because I was just ugly. Or, at the very least 'different'. You know that old joke we as fat people would say? At least I can lose weight. Well, now that the weight was off, maybe I was one of the ugly ones? That thought still scares me and brings me down. Especially since I don't like my face. Anyway, once those thoughts simmered down, something occured to me. I am not acting any different than I was before. I was always fairly self confident in most situations, wasn't afraid to look anyone in the eye and did not have that feeling of no self-worth that a lot of my heavy friends did. Now, I had a *very* strong case of denial, but it allowed me to continue to be me and not lock myself away in my house or anything. I looked the world in the eye and was almost always treated decently (with exceptions, of course). So with the weight loss, that hasn't changed. I now subject myself to many more situations that I might not have considered before (like Karaoke, or stuff like that), but I do it with the same level of self confidence that I did everything else. I had many cute guy friends. And I still have them. I don't get any different 'attention' from men that I ever got before. Guys like me for me. I must give off an aura of happily married, cause that hasn't changed either. I am friends with them. (Not that attention from guys is a defining feature of being treated different, but it does mean something when you are a girl). Well, there you have it. My phychological evaluation on myself. It will be interesting reading everyones responses. Heck, I'm thinking of posting this answer on my profile! Take care everyone! Lisa 360/345/182/150