Hi this is really personal...

Hi I don't usually post any of my personal business, but I need some advice or atleast someone to talk to about this I have been married almost 12 years since I was 17. Actually I have been with my husband since I was 14 so 14 years. I have never cheated on my husband I have been tempted but never have and then I was 360 lbs for years and that was never an issue .. I was pregnant at 15 and have been being a grown up everysince and I don't want any sympathy for that because that was my choice and I don't regret that at all it's just the missed freedom and young days I missed. Then I was in my huge fat suit for so long so again trapped and now I am feeling free and I am feeling trapped do you know what I mean? I love my husband and my children I just feel like I want to be wild and free. I have been going out on friday nights and having a blast with friends and my sister and guys flirt and buy me drinks and I dance and it is innocent. Nut there is one man that I have known for a long time and we have always been so attracted to eachother and I know that if I was not married I would be with him in a heartbeat but the thing is that as much as I love my family and husband I can not stop wanting him I dream about him and I see him and he hugs me and tells me he wants me and loves me and I am so confused I know what the right thing is and I know what I feel like what do I do HELP ME Hugs Jess

if you love your husband you will not put temptation in your way. you owe your family more than letting this guy tell you he wants you and loves you. unless you're planning on cheating you need to avoid him. if you are planning on cheating you need to prepare to end your marriage and break up your family. sorry to be so blunt but there is no "right" way to cheat and if you're not planning on cheating you are only torturing yourself and playing a very dangerous game. i'm not sure what you're looking for here. perhaps you should speak with a professional. you apparently have needs that are not being met and need to find a healthy way to take care of that.

Good Morning Jessica, I'm normally just a lurker but I can so relate...I have been married since 13 years old (I know what was I thinking) anyway that was my 1st marriage and that lasted for about 7 years and I had a child @ 17yrs and then I meet my second husband right after my 1st and have been married for 15 years so now that is more then half my life that I've been married, so I've been pretty much grow up since 13yrs old...and can so relate... NOW what I've notice lately is yes I get alot of attention, but for me it's not worth it...just sit down and really think what do I really want out of this..I have 3 kids now ages 17, 14, 12 & a great husband...I wouldn't trade it for nothing...my sister is always trying to take me out with them, but I just don't go all the time now don't get me wrong...I've gone out a few time, but I still don't flirt with anyone and I always come across like a total b*tch so I don't tempt fate lol my sister laughs at me because I don't let anyone come near our table...much less buy us a drink... I would recommend you get some time alone and do a reality check and see what it is you really need out of this and if it is with your family then just avoid seeing this other guy... Good Luck in whatever you decide Linda

Jess I agree with Jay. I would quit putting myself in a situation where I would be tempted to cheat. You say you love your husband. Then put the same effort into that love-LOVE IS A CHOICE, and you can choose. It does sound like some counseling or good communication between you and your husband is in order. Luci

Jessica, also look at did this guy even give you the time of day when you were heavy? Because I can tell you right know that I get alot of attention from people that didn't even give me the time of day when I was heavy. And I'll tell you what I would never change my husband for anything , because he has been there for me when I was heavy, sick and miserable about my weight.What I am trying to say is that you will meet alot of people that only see the new you, but did they know the old you. I work in a hospital and I can tell you that there are men that wouldn't even look my way. Now I have doctors trying to talk too me. Thats just not me I have a wonderful husband and I wouldn't trade him for the world. When I had my surgery my husband was a total wreck. He confesed to me that he wouldn't know what to do if he had lost me. Fat or skinny my husband loves me unconitionally. Think about what is more important than just giving in to a one nighter. Just giving some elderly advice.........Lol good luck in any decision that you make.

Jess ~ Let me know if you find the "right" answer to this problem. I was in the same boat. Been with my husband since I was 13; married to him since I was 17 (almost 21 years). My best friend (male) and I have serious feelings for each other. He's also married and faithful to his wife. We've discussed it and decided to not act on anything. He just moved to Germany; and we're missing each other terribly. If anything were to ever happen to our current spouses, we'd be together in a heartbeat; but we both love our current spouses - it's just so bizarre to have the same feelings for two men at the same time. I often wonder what the hell I'm thinking. The funny thing is - I've had several other offers from men I would consider "hotter" than my best friend; but I'm not interested in any way - so it's not just a sex thing. I know this doesn't help you any; but I just wanted you to know that you're not alone. I'm not going to be a "holier than thou" type because I'm right there with ya, sister. And, yes, my best friend has known me since I was fat and he's never treated me any different. Maria 272/156.2/155

Jessica, Know that you are not alone. I love my husband, but there have been times in our marriage where we both experienced these issues. Love is a choice though, I did learn that. This is a very difficult time you are going through, and i will be praying every day for you. You are not alone.