Need "man" advice ...

Ok guys, I need man advice. As everyone knows I have been dating this great guy for 7 weeks now. Basically 2 months. We see each other 3 -4 times a week and talk on the phone for 2 hours on the other days. He is sweet, kind, considerate and very attentive. BUT he has mentioned several times that he does not know if he ever wants to get married again. He was married for 15 years and she did him verrrrry wrong. He was divorced in 1998. The other 2 women he dated sort of serious since then did him crappy also. I have been honest with him in that I do want to be married again and that I am 49 yrs old and don't want to spend the rest of my life alone. DILEMA --- What to do now? I love being with him and we have a great time together and I am totally falling in love with him. I even asked him if he thought we should stop dating since it appears we want two totally different things and he said, "No, he doesn't want to do that?" and that he would NEVER hurt me. Now I know we have only been dating for a short while, but it is like I don't know where we are headed and it is a weird feeling. HELP?????????????? Sue 273/261/145/140

I'm not a man but wanted to post. My dad said the same thing after my mom and him got divorced 13 years ago, that he would never marry again. She did him VERY wrong, and hurt him very badly. He dated some and even had 2 long term relationships but never married. Well about 2 years ago he met the right women and he just got married. And they just had a new baby. She was fixed for 11 years but I guess it was just meant to be. So I guess my point is my dad was very sure he would never marry again and also made that clear when he started dating this women,but he finally found the women who stole his heart away. Maybe you will be that women for this man you are dating. Good luck in this new relationship. Melissa 337/187/170

Give it time! Things change. I know this sounds sorta abrubt but I think that 2 months is a little soon to be looking long term. Give yourselves time to grow together. If it is right you it will work out, I have a friend who has been dating the same guy for 7 years. They love each other, they even live in the same apartment building, they are happy with the way things are. They are there for each other (she is currently battling breast cancer), see each other constantly, just aren't married. That works for them. See where things go, he may change his mind, you may be happy knowing he is there for you, who knows. You mention that you "don't want to spend the rest of my life alone", just because you aren't married dosn't mean you are alone. I don't know if I want to ever get married either but it would be nice to have a "special" someone to share time and things with. One of those things dosn't have to be a mortgage. It's only a dilema if you make it one. Stay the course and enjoy what it is right now, don't fix something until it is actually broken. Just my opinion.

I have to totally agree with Peter. 7 weeks is not a lot of time. It seems like you may be looking for some sort of guarantee- which is impossible, of course. I understand you not wanting to be "alone"- but you're not. If this man is right for you, then time will tell, but it's way too soon. I mean, would you trust someone that asked you to marry him after only 7 weeks? I wouldn't. It would scare the beejeebers out of me. It takes a lot longer than that to really know someone. And especially since he has been wronged before- he's going to be super cautious the next time around. I say to just enjoy things the way they are, and do your best not to pressure him because it may scare him off. Once he falls madly in love with you, there will be no stopping him.

OH you guys are soooo right and I am not pressuring him or anything like that, and I don't really want guarantees, its just sort of the feeling that it seems we want different things that has sort of has taken me aback a bit. But I am going to take it slow and enjoy his company, and see where it goes. Thanks yall for lettin me ramble. Sue

Sue, Okay babe! Here's my three cents-for whatever it's worth. I was engaged to my husband in 6 weeks. I knew in 2 that I wanted to be his wife. Is this crazy--Hell yes! Did we get lucky--Hell yes! We just had our ten year anniversary and things are still great. We are just lucky that after the wedding we found something else we had in common besides sex and sex! HAHA!! The difference here is that neither one of us had been in a soured relationship. We were young and inexperienced. It sounds like both of you have a few "battle wounds" from past loves that are still healing. This is a difficult situation because you shouldn't hang on to him doesn't want what you want. It isn't fair to yourself to hang on to a hope that may never materialize, and it isn't fair to him to put pressure on him. This is a very different world now....it's okay to be in a relationship without marriage, but it's ALSO OKAY to want that for yourself. Make sure that you are not compromising your need, wants and desires. If you need, want and desire to be married than you shouldn't waste years of your life with someone just waiting and hoping that he will change his mind. This is still a young relationship. Give yourself a some more time and then decide. Every relationship, friends, lovers or otherwise, reaches a fork in the road where you decide if it's worth staying involved. It usually comes naturally. Something will spark this decision later on (sort of like the last guy and his ******** buddy). Just relax and enjoy the ride right now. That's all. I'm a goober, so don't take my words too seriously, C

Sue, you are SO beautiful and kind. Let things take their course.... if it was meant to be, it'll happen in good time. Sometimes not knowing and anticipation is the most exciting part of a relationship. Be secure in yourself and your life and your worth because no matter what happens, HE is getting an awesome woman! Love and all the best, Nan