TRUTH.

Good grief. My emotions are up down and screaming red right now. I live in a household of men and I could not regret it more than tonight. They are all hard-headed, stubborn, and selfi**** seems to me this evening. My 17 year old. Hmmm. What to say about this child? He is brilliant. Lives a charmed life. Is the president of his senior class, handsome as Adonis and loved by all - guys and girls alike. However, he feels it is perfectly ok to tell his mama " I would *** do that for you..." no respect. very little patience. and just temper-tantrumy a LOT. Good God, tries my patience. And I wonder at times what lessons I am sending him out into the world with. I thought I was teaching him how to respect women and I dthink I have failed. My hubby. a 45 year old man. SO involved in his own life and his own miseries he forgets I exist. If I am sick he won't offer me a cup of soup, but he does all the laundry in the house for everyone every week.. He is wonderful and careless at the same time. My twins. BOTH are gems. One cares so much about me. The other is in the throes of teenagehood and cares more about girls and and friends and being popular than anything else. He is highly impressionable at 12. I'm trying to be patient and kind and REMEMBER that these are KIDS and I was once this way. I had such an AWFUL childhood. I remember being called ****** so many times. Being spit on. Being raped. Being molested. Oh it was awful. My life is sequestered. I want to do so much and say and see so much. It's so hard, sometimes. You know, I have come a long way, but money isn't everything, is it? Maybe it's the guilt and that's why I give away so much of it every year - $10,000 at least. Sometimes I STILL feel like it's my fault. Anyhoo, THIS is the first family is feel comfortable with - I feel it's OK to confess and talk and say the things I REALLY feel. I love you all for that. Nan

You need one great big hug! {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} I know that can't cure your troubles, but I hope it helps you feel a little better. You ARE Loved!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mandie

Thanks Mandie! I need that HUGS right backatcha... Just having a PMS day except it was a during MS day! I am fine today!

And we love you too!!!! Remind me again why we had children? LOL This coming from another mother of a 12 year old going on 30!!! I also struggle with the life lessons we are teaching our children. They seem to have it so much easier. God I sound like my parents! I guess each generation sees their successors as just a bunch of punk kids who are all spoiled brats! Do know that your son will come around. I have faith. Seems like there are so many stages they go through as teenagers. It wasn't until I was an adult with children of my own that I could relate to my mom again. It doesn't help that our bodies are going through such dramatic changes, and our hormones are running wild right now. You just keep your head up - know that we've got your back - and keep the faith. I love ya! HUGS! Kimberly - who's wondering where I get in line for some of that free cash?

Yeah, his hormones and mine are knockin heads!

Nan My dear friend, ou are just raw with emotion at this minute .. and thats okay.. You have indeed found a safe place to invest those feelings.. I think that the smarter we are the more we search, question, and try to 're-arrange' the parameters of our lifes... You know I have never had children I tried but they didn't come.. I always like to think in my most private moments that I would have a dynamite mother imparting wisdom into smiling faces.. Yeah right.. Girl what you do everyday with twins and a Teenager I think I would have sucked at.. I am much to sensitive, I either would have cried all night if I had a kid tell me to **** off or I would take my foot and kick him out the door.. two bad solutions right? see thats why i'm not a Mother I guess.. I feel for you. but You love them and they probably adore you.. and don't ever think for a minute that those kids don't realize what a outstanding smart Mother they have.. they know... As for hubby.. what can I say? Can you send him over to teach my Gary how to fold shirts? .. i love ya girl... peace Mo

Mo. I'm a pretty strong woman. I haven't cried in a LONG while - but your post made me cry... no, sob out loud. I just want to tell you I can't wait to meet you in person. I would be honored. You are such a loving, kind, wonderful soul. I can't imagine this world without your sagacity. You are amazing and how sad it is that God did not give you children - but, as you will find - all mothers are founts of good advice and you obviously have it. I'm gonna call you Mama. Love, Nan

Okay, Now is the mutual admiration society or what? But After i read what you just wrote me.. I felt a pang in my heart!!! Oh I can Not wait to just sit down and roll with laughter with you and cry all night and talk all day!!! You are my long lost sister truly.. peace to you baby Mo

Nan~ all the love, hugs and support I can send you are on the way!! You have came through a lot of s#@! and still ended up on top! Way to go Nan!!!!! xoxoxox~ Grace

Nanna-poo, I posted to this yesterday and for some reason it didn't go through. Anyway~This mothering stuff is hard!!! My son is considerably younger than your boys so I can't empart any wisdom on that front, but to say that I remember the two stages of maturity that you are referring to. They were the hardest times in my life!! Hands down!! I actually had high blood pressure in the 7th grade because of stress. It got so bad that I was under a doctor's supervision. I always took it out on everyone at home because I knew that they loved me no matter what. I was moody and grouchy and talked back too. Age 17.....OMG!!! That is that time where you are ALMOST and adult, but have no skills to be self sufficient or responsible for your own well being. It's like being in limbo! And of course you have to add in the raging hormones and lack of control! Kind of like me right now!! These aren't reason's to be disrespectful though. I probably would have slapped my son across the face if he had spoken to me in that way (and then felt terrible about it!). I think you are in the hardest stage of motherhood! As for your husband........Mine does the laundry too. How funny is that?! I do the lawn!! I think we have to remind our spouses how good they have it sometimes. Husbands included! I think men are great! I have always related to them better than most women, but sometimes I just get all "girly" and my husband looks at me like, "Who the hell are you and what have you done with my wife?" I think your hubby sounds like a good guy. Chin up girl. I bet you are a fantastic mom and wife!! In fact I have no doubt about it!! We love you Nanna-poo!! C