How much have you changed....

since you lost weight? I have lost 65 lbs and my husband thinks that I have changed. Sue I have, I'm happy and more outgoing. I wear makeup everyday and do my hair, and like to wear nicer cloths. He said that it isn't me, but it is, but when I was overweight (ok, obese) I didn't feel like making myself look good. When I met my husband I wasn't this small so he has never seen me this size. I thought that maybe he was jealous but that's not the case, even when I lose this weight I'm still not a drop dead georgous woman. I still have 100 lbs to go so I'm nowhere skinny and "hot" yet. Did any of you have this kind of problem? Also, people at work are treating me different. Someone that never talked to be before now want to be my best friend and some of my overweight friends (that will never have the surgery) won't talk to me. What's up with that? Inside I haven't changed, just the outside. God forbid that I start looking better and feeling better and if that makes me more outgoing then so be it right???

Tammy, I am having this problem as well. People definitly are treating me different as well. Even my family. I think they really are a little bit jealous even though I know they are happy for me. For some reason they feel threatened. I am also starting to take better care of myself. We are doing great keep up the good work. Amy pre-op 270 DOS 253.5 Now 198

I don't think I have changed all that much since surgery. If anything, I became more introverted from it all. You see, I was in a perpetual state of denial about how heavy I was. I didn't really let it get in the way of what I wanted to do, or if DH & I went and did anything. There were things I stayed away from, of course, but my denial was strong and I could just let it wash off me. (Like not fitting into a booth; stuff like that.) Once I started heavily researching and starting the process, it was like the blinds were removed from my eyes and I started realizing how bad I was. How bad I felt like I looked. I stopped going to many places and doing much. It was horrible; I hated feeling that way. I longed for my denial to come back. But I just kept trucking along, and now that I have lost over half what I want to, I am feeling better. More like I was, only a bit better because there isn't any more little things (such as fitting into a booth) to get in the way. Plus I have more energy now, and DH & I can go dancing and kick it up a notch. I am still very heavy (Have 76lbs to go) but I am feeling better. I certainly haven't noticed any more attention from people. ****rtainly won't be 'hot' once my weight is gone. Just average, I guess) I also haven't really noticed less, either. I guess I am just very fortunate in the people I have in my life. I don't feel I've changed all that much. I only wore make-up occaisionally before, and still wear it occaisionally. I always took a shower and did my hair, so that hasn't changed either. I guess a big one is I wear my contacts almost every day now. Before, I was hiding behind my glasses because my face was so huge. I've always been fairly outgoing and friendly, and that has stayed with me. So I can't really help you with this. Sorry, I wish I could! I hope for the best for you. I hope those who are more friendly toward you are doing so because you are more open. I hate to think that so many people are so shallow. I completely agree with your last statement; if you losing weight makes you happy and feeling better and more outgoing and that encourages others to want to be around you, that's fabulous! Like you said, your DH didn't know you back then, so this is a big shock & change for him. Speaking from experience, it's hard to let our loved ones change. Be patient with him; he'll come around. I know I did when my DH lost a bunch of weight and started becoming more active. I am so happy for you that you are feeling so much better and have a better image of yourself. That is healthy and normal. Surround yourself with supportive people. That will help a lot. Take care and good luck. {{{HUGS}}} Lisa

Great pics on your profile hon! What a difference! CONGRATS! HUGS Kimberly

Are you talking to me? If so, then Thanks!! That's cool you checked out my profile! I am always shocked when people tell me that. I mean, I check out theirs, but why would anyone want to look at mine? Weird, huh? But yeah, there is such a difference. Holy smokes. I get discouraged sometimes because I still have so far to go. But then I get comments like this, and I feel all kinds of better! Thanks, you made my day! Take care, and HUGS back for ya! Lisa

Yes dear - I am guilty of hijacking this message! LOL It's YOu all about YOU! HUGS K

I've changed since my surgery ... I have more confidence, I dress nicer since I have more clothes to wear and according to my husband I've been much happier and I'm always smiling! I also go out alot and now I'm the one always suggesting to go out instead of making exuses to stay at home! I have also noticed that some people do treat me different. Especially this one guy at work who wouldnt give me the time of day but would go out of his way to talk and flirt with the pretty girls at work. Now he is actually talking to me to and even flirting a little , he asked me last week how much weight I've lost cuz I look really good ... almost fell off my chair! M.

Girls, I agree with Marlize, I care about my appearance much more than I used to and people treat me differently too. I used to be the "800 pound gorilla" in the room that noone wanted to acknowledge. I always had to approach people first if I wanted to have a conversation. And I've especially noticed how much better the customer service is where ever I go. This actually angers me when I think about it. My money was no less valuable when I was at my pre-op weight--so why was I always ignored as a patron?! Why are we suddenly of more value in the eyes of the public than we were before? End of rant and rave!! Change is good!! C Leigh

Tammy, I've heard and read that this is a common problem. I've noticed it. I even had a freind tell me I've changed. Well - NO - I haven't changed, unless you want to count having more energy, actually feeling good enough to go do things (why I'm never home), actually caring about the house, and my work, playing with my children instead of watching from the couch, SELF ESTEEM, etc... Yeah, maybe I've changed, but believe me it's for the better! I did this surgery for ME and every one else can kiss my grits! I've learned to be more focused on myself instead of taking on everyone else's problems. I've learned that life is definately about me - it's ALL about me and the decisions that I make, because those decisions ultimately effect my family. I'm glad we've changed. I'm not a different person though - just not always available like I was before. OH WELL - Their loss! HUGS Kimberly

LISA... Girl you ARE HOT!!! Your profile pics are awesome! Now, repeat after me: "I, Lisa, am HOT!!!" I LOVE your hair, can I have some please? I never had thick hair to begin with, and now, well, WHAAAAAAA!!!!!! Ok, back to the topic, Yes, people treat me different. But I wonder how much of it is b/c I dress different, take care of myself, exude more self-confidence vs. me just not being fat? I do notice guys holding door more, smiling at me, flirting with me at work...I even notice the doctors at work (I'm a nurse) listening to my opinion more, like losing 58 pounds suddenly made me SMARTER? Yes, it upsets me, but I still wonder how much of it is that I've changed inside, vs. outside?