Three weeks Post-op and Depressed.

I was 3 week post-op yesterday. I seem to be really depressed. I am doing great on the weight loss I have lost 38lbs and I am pleased with the results but I am frustrated that I still have so much trouble getting around. Last year I had both knees replaced and I still can hardly walk. I really miss the foods that I onced ate. Eating out was always a social event for me and my family but now I feel as little as I am able to each it isn't worth it. I am jealous when my family goes out to eat and I can't. I know that this is a mind set, but nevertheless, I am having real problems with this. I guess that I a greeving food. I must confess that I have accererated the progression of food slighly without any problems. Has anyone else experienced this or am I alone. My wife tells me you knew how this was going to be but head knowledge and living it are different.

Hi william I know exactly how you feel. I felt a lot of that same thing also. I am now almost 6 wks out now but at around 2 wks I was thinking the same things. We all LIVE to eat. I was told that these thoughts are completely normal and that they will pass. I kept telling myself that eventually I will be able to eat everything (but in smaller amounts, of course). Eventually we will be abe to go out to dinner. Now at 6 wks, I am feeling much better. The depression has passed and I just keep focusing on why I did this in the first place - to LIVE. Hang in there - it will get better and better. HUGS. Karen

Neal.....I am 2 1/2 weeks post op and I know how you feel. I have similar feelings too. I do hope it passes because I never realized how focused on food i was. This is so much a mental, and it is physical thing, you know. Good Luck, and let me know how you are doing.

You know what helped me a bit in this area. I wrote a "goodbye to food" letter. Also I made lists of all the "accomplishments" I want to have with the surgery. (You know the stuff I can't do and want to when I loose some weight -- Like sit in an airplane without and extender, or shop in a regular store...****pt this by my bed and added to it regularly. I added all the things that I wasn't doing because of my weight. And all the things I physically can't do but want to do. Some of them I have a hard time imagining they will happen...but I am trying to trust that they will. Needless to say I have a long list. I am hoping for lots of little "wow" moments when I reach these milestones! I know the goodbye letter sounds corney. But it really has helped. Now I am not saying there haven't been moments where I am not frustrated at my food stuff or feeling deprived as my family eats real meals. But those moments seem to come and go quickly for me. And real depression is a common problem after. If this continues to go on, please tell your Doctor!! Congrats on the 38 lbs! That is awesome! Hugs... I hope you feel better soon, Linda

Hi William - Congrats on your weight loss!! You should be very proud of yourself. I'm only 4 weeks out (and right down the road from you) and totally understand. I have two teenagers always asking me to take them for fast food, or now that we have a Cold Stone - ice cream. They're getting used to me saying no and my daughter is getting to be much nicer to her brother since he can drive her. The first couple of weekends after coming home, when we were sitting home alone, my husband would start laughing out of the blue (I thought he was nuts). Then he explained that he was going to ask if I wanted to go out to eat, but remembered that I couldn't. So now we try and find other things to do together other than eat. But its definately hard over coming the socializing that comes with the food. I know of someone who would still go out with their family, but would order soup and only sip the juice/broth. They were still out socializing and were able to share a meal, but just not over indulge. Also - this is going to sound gross so prepare yourself - a few times my husband has made wonderful dinners for him and the kids and I just needed a bit. But, couldn't swallow it. So, I'd chew it up then spit it out. All I needed was the taste. Of course, this doesnt work in restaurants. Have you been over to the Frederick Support Group at FMH? I haven't been, but hear it's great for postops as well as their families. If not, you might want to check them out. Good Luck, Lynn

Lynn, Thanks for your reply. Yes I went to the Frederick Support Group the first Wednesday of August for the first time. I really enjoyed the group and I plan on continuing to attend. They meet the first wednesday and the third Thursday of the month. I am planning on going back on Thursday of this week. You might want ot check them out as I did. They have people at all level of the journey of weight loss. They also have a few spouses who attend as support and one lady who is considering surgery at the last meeting. How are you doing on your weight loss so far? If you want to email me directly, my email is [email protected] Bill

I'm having trouble with depression also but I'm attributing mine to sitting around too much and not getting out around people. Anyway, try going out to eat if that is important to you. I don't know how much/what you are allowed to eat yet, but as a DS'er I can have 1/2 cup soft food. We went out for a friend's birthday on Saturday and while I had only a little ham loaf out of the meal that was served, the social side of being out and about made me feel a lot better. Today I have to go to Wal-Mart for drug refills so that will get me out of the house also. I'm making it a goal this week to go somewhere everyday.

Hi Bill, I too am 3 weeks post op... I hear you it is difficult. However, I enjoy going out for any meal with anyone... HEY I am a cheap date. I get to have a little of everyones. If I choose my own I have enough left for two more meals. Try not to feel deprived. WE can eat! Just in smaller portions and protein first... It takes me longer to finish my little portion than my families larger size portions. I have been out to eat at least 7 times... Even to a Casino Buffet. I had a taste of what I used to have. CHEWED THOROUGHLY and was okay with it!! It is all how you view it. YOU CAN HAVE FOOD_ just choose what is healthy for you. Enjoy it... CONGRATS ON YOUR LOSS- THAT IS A LOT OF WEIGHT IN A SHORT TIME and YOU SHOULD BE VERY PROUD ABOUT wht you were so brave to go through...REMIND YOURSELF OF HOW MUCH PRIDE AND DIGNITY IT TOOK TO DO WHAT WE DID TO HELP OUR SELVES> WE WILL BE SUCCESSFULL and YOU HAVE PROVED IT... KEEP POSITIVE!! WHEN I FEEL sad I EAT A popsicle or two- good source of fluid and makes me happy.... GOOD LUCK CHIN UP TUMMY IN AND ENJOY THE JOURNEY WITH MUCH PRIDE>>>READ THE BEFORE AND AFTERS>. This is just a morning period for the food we found comfort in so long...