Im an ass

Hello all, I feel so guilty that I have not been here to offer support to all you you wonderful people. You helped me so much along the way and when my life fell apart I dropped the balls I was juggling.....including this board. I was getting emails....cards....phone calls from many of you and I was in such a numb hazy fog that I ignored all of them. I appreciated them sooo much but couldnt lift my head up enough to reply. I was in a dark place trying to get through the holidays and trying to make sense out of all of this. Valentines day was hard....not for the loss of love, but because my husband filed for divorce on that day and I found out that my beloved Sophie.....my 8 yr. old boxer is dying from cancer....she has about 3 more months. This just makes one more thing my sweet little 8 year old son will have to endure this year. Here's an update on me....not feeling very "malibu" these days. As far as the weight loss goes.......Im 10 lbs below goal. I can't seem to halt the weightloss and I look a year older with every pound that slips off this body. This is a total loss of.....170 lbs! This is almost 30 lbs less than I weighed in Vegas....to give you a reference. I went from a size 24 top/28 pant....to a 4/6...of 5 in juniors. Plastics is on the way.....waiting for the divorce.....once we split the assets I will have the cash. I love you all and Im glad to see there is still life in this board. Channan (Malibu)

Oh 'bu, I'm so sorry about your husband filing for divorce on Valentines day. Thats really very ****ty timing on his part. I'm even sorrier about Sophie, for you and your sons sake. I'm also sorry I haven't been one of the people sending you emails and calls. You are very special to me and I feel like I haven't been there for you either. I've battled with depression myself so I know where you're coming from there. If you feel you've lost too much weight and can't stop losing please see your doctor or nutritionist. We all care very much for and about you. Please take care of yourself, you're the only one *****ally can. Love ya C! Tim

****ty timing...you bet! I will be signing my part of the papers on our 11th anniversary! HA! Im not underweight yet...far from it actually. I have added some fats to my diet....whole milk in my coffee and such. And I now allow myself to have a high calorie treat here and there. It seems to have slowed the loss, but every now and again when the really stressful day****my metabolism kicks into overdrive and I will lose 3-4 lbs in one chunk. Thank you for your sweet words babe! I miss ya! Love ya too Tim! C

Ass, my Ass!!! I'm on the 'down' side of a cold... and your message is equivalent to a megadose of vitamin C! I know the weight loss has to be really worrisome. Perhaps some more complex carbs would help. My sympathies for Sophie but I am glad that you you will have some more quality time together. We had dinner with Andrea and Peter during our Christmas trip to NY. It's great to meet folks in person. I look forward to meeting you sooner than later. Retirement's great so far. I'm getting lots of project completed around the house. Last week, I retiled the kitchen cabinets in black- looks great! Take care of that boy. Dave

Davey-poo! Andrea and Peter are great huh? As for my little man......when I told him that we might get a divorce he said this........ "Don't worry mama.....i wont ever leave you and I will take care of you". I totally lost it! I cried and said..."No baby...I will take care of YOU!" He is more solid than I give him credit for. He knows about Sophie too. He hugs her a hundred times a day and knows that when she begins to get really really sick...it will be better for her to pass on. I dread this year, but I can make it through! Sounds like you are doing well Dave! Glad to hear it hun. C

Hey Channan, You most definately are not an ass! Going through tough times makes us all want to pull in and get through the healing, so you are perfectly normal! So sorry to hear about your Sophie. That is tough to take on our best days. At least (and it's a small thing I know,) but you and your son have some time to talk about cancer, and it's results and make it a life lesson on death. And memories, and how special they are. Take some good pictures of Sophie and your son, you will be so glad you did in the future. Hang in there, The clouds will roll back and the sun will come out again. HUGS!!! Debbie

Thanks Debbie! I love the picture idea. I needed the encouragement...thanks! Channan

Thanks Debbie! I love the picture idea. I needed the encouragement...thanks! Channan

Sounds like the hubby is the ass. A divorce was the best thing that ever happen to me. It hurt for a while then poof nothing don't even think of him anymore. Don't see him. Don't talk to him. He has not see the kids in almost 5 years now. Hope things look up for you. God bless. Love Amy

Thank You Amy! I have heard that many times...that it's the best thing...Im anxious to get to the other side. My son is lucky that his dad wants to maintain a relationship. It's going to be difficult...he works such odd hours, but we will make it happen......for my sons sake How are you doin Amy? Channan