One year anniversary celebrated by another surgery.

I had all 4 of my wisdom teeth taken out today. I'm in lots of pain and look like a chipmunk and I'm on a liquid diet for 2 weeks (so I'm thinking maybe this will kickstart my weight loss again). Sorry I havent been around much. Been having a ton of emotional issues and depressed episodes, and even some thoughts of ending my life, most of which has past now. It hasnt been easy the past couple months. I've actually been gaining some weight, even with all my triathlon training. Glad to see most of you arent failures like I feel.

Oh, and here are my chipmunk pictures! http://i7.tinypic.com/21an86u.jpg http://i7.tinypic.com/21an8jm.jpg

oh Ashley.. how painful.. i'm sorry. but know this young lady- when you're feeling down and out- COME HERE and talk it out.I know you july peoples really help me through my down TIMES plural!! i've heard of many WLS people who get really down/depressed... so keep coming here and talking things out.. it really does help to be open and honest and come for support.. from people who know what you're feeling.!!!!!!!! here's an acorn for ya.... opps a hug ((((((ASHLEY)))))) jennifer

The age you are at right now was really hard for me too. It's so full of uncertainty and self doubt, insecurity, men, boys, sex, lust, school, family and on and on and on! Chin up girl! I can't believe that you feel like a failure. Honey! You have been a TOTAL success in this process. You have had set-backs no doubt, but damn life is full of those and how you handle is what will make you happy or not. If you could see youreslf the way others see you.......you'd AMAZE yourself. I have to tell myself this all of the time. And sometimes, I do get a glimpse of how others perceive me, Sometimes it's good....sometimes not, but either way..........who the hell cares.....I have done something amazing......I have lost 149 lbs! You have done amazing things in the last year. You have been the envy and the example to many of us who look at you and think....DAMN..how does she run so much, look so cute, and on and on. For heaven's sake girl.....a triathalon? A tiny percentage of the world would only ATTEMPT to train for that and a smaller amount actually DO IT! Holy hell girl! I'm totally impressed! Didn't you get a 4.0 last year!?!? Channan

I'm not impressed with myself. I'm absolutely disgusted. I hate what I see in the mirror, I'm just so unhappy. And yes, I got a 4.0 last year.

I'm so sorry Ashley. You look absolutely miserable in your pics. (cute but miserable) I had 2 of my own wisdom teeth taken out a few weeks ago myself and that was bad enough. I cant imagine what it is like to lose all 4 at the same time. Hope they gave you some good drugs. Depression happens to all of us on occasion and I'm glad you're feeling better. You know you can always come here for advice and support. Do you think you may have been putting on some muscle with your training? I can't imagine doing that kind of training and not putting on muscle. You are NOT a faliure, even if you feel like one. Just think how far you've come in the last year. Would you have even remotely considered entering a triathlon back then? Take care and keep them frozen veggies on them cheeks! Tim

Yeah, they put me on Vicodin. The pain is by far the worst right now (day 3). I'm going crazy and just want to cry. It hurts to even swallow.

Ashley: Taking care of your wisdom teeth is one of the most important dental procedures for a woman your age can do. Congratulations. Know that all of us have life experiences that set us up for depression. Us old salts know that when a person begins down the slippery slope toward hurting oneself, it is TIME TO ACT! With reading, counseling and possibly drugs, you can begin to understand how insidious it becomes. You and your family need to assemble a team of profesionals to work through how you see the world and how you perceive the world sees you. A good therapy group might help. I am in awe at what youv'e accomplished within little over a year. you've come too far to be thiking of ending your life of value and understanding. Been there big time,. Dave

Ashley, 1st off, glad to hear from you. I'm glad you have come to us. I can totally sympathize with you on the wisdom teath. When I had mine removed about 15 years ago they did all 4 of mine at the same time. At the time I was working for a guy that would only give me 1 day off to recover. Like Tim said keep those frozen vegies handy. YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE!!!! You are training for a triathlon for gods sake. That is huge. Do you think you would have been able to do that a year ago. In so many ways I admire that you have taken this huge step when you have. I often wish I would have done this surgery when I was your age. I sometimes think I have missed out on so much in life because I didn't do this sooner. You are looking fantastic, the swollen chipmunk cheeks are cute. Remember we are always here for you.

Ashley ~ Everyone else seems to have given so much good advice so I'll just say, "You've done awesome and just focus on your future and where you want to go". As for the suicidal thoughts, I definitely understand where you're coming from. I've had suicidal thoughts since my mid-teens and do occasionally still get them (I'm 38 now). I think you've met the biggest hurdle in dealing with them and that is admitting to them. Most people that meet me would never think that I have such thoughts because I'm considered "bubbly" and "fun"; but sometimes just keeping up the "bubbly" and "fun" appearance is enough to make me depressed - ironic, huh. I've never sought professional help for the thoughts; but I did have to undergo a full depression/anxiety test before my WLS. The therapist was amazed that I'd done so well controlling the urges without counseling (she said that most people don't). Although I didn't talk to a therapist, I did talk to my husband - a wonderful, supportive man; so if you're still feeling down, I'd suggest finding someone to talk to. I just really wanted you to know that you're not alone. Maria 272/155/148