Advocate?

Hello......(I hear echo's in this place). Anyone out there anymore? Okay, down to business............. Three weeks ago I went to Texas for a family reunion. My cousin has been interested in wls for quite sometime. She asked tone of questions. I kept answering......"Research the risks first and if your comfortable with the risks....blah, blah, blah." It got to be a joke because I would start each sentence with this "disclaimer". On the flip side is my father-in-law who is two years out from his wls. He openly tells people about the surgery, but totally glosses over the risks involved.....almost like they don't exist or really happen. I think this is irresponsible. THEN......On Tuesday the Vegas gang was sitting there in this little cafe having breakfast, talkin up a storm about our surgeries. We were having quite the lively conversation about the fabulous benefits and how much our lives have improved. A few of us noticed that this heavy set woman was intently listening to every word we said. It made me smile....maybe she'll pursue it further because of what she heard us say. This is my question.......Are YOU an advocate for wls. Do you tell people about it. When you do....do you tell the WHOLE truth or just the "good parts"...(OMG...I'm a size 10, I can bend over, I can blah, blah, blah)? Malibu

I tell both if people ask me. I am honest and say it was the best decision I ever made, but it was not an easy thing to do. I let them know the minor complications I dealth with and tell them everyone is different and some may have more or less complications. I also let them know that most people that I have met (even those with complications) don't regret the surgery (which is true).

I do this: I tell what is was like before WLS, I tell what happened to bring me to WLS and I tell them how my life is now after WLS. I try not to preach or advocate any certain type of WLS. I tell them that with any surgery there are complications that might occur, and they have to make the hard descions by themselves. I tell everyone who asks to do their research!! .. Have I ever felt like going up to some very over weight person and telling them about the surgery? sure, I have felt like it but I hold my tongue. My job is done. I have accepted that I cannot change the world, only myself. And if a little of myself is left with them to ponder if it is for them, then I have really done my job... peace Mo

hiya chickadee! (loveya by the way) my hair stylist is like 300+ pounds and every time i go to her she has asked me about wls. i give it to her straight pretty much - the good and the bad. so last time i went to see her, her colleague goes, " oh SHE's thinking about doing it and we're all discouraging her".... and she looked at me for my response... i asked her: "how old are you darlin?" "21" "Hmm" - i say, "Do you have any medical problems?" "Nope" " i reply - well, sweetie - I am not a fan of cutting up your body to achieve weight loss for JUST weight loss. You are so young. It's a mind thang as much as a physical thang.... I did this because I am 42 and I was dying. I had pseudo tumor cerebri, severe neuropathy from type 2 diabetes in my left foot, high blood pressure, had gone through god knows how many cat scans and specialists for MS and good god knows what else. all i know is i felt like sh** and could not function anymore. i just wanted to sleep and forget about the world. Now, i KNOW YOU aren't THERE, are ya?." This child is the sassiest thing in the salon... anyhoo, be honest - honesty is ALWAYS the best policy. good or bad. i know this gets into a philosophical type of question of who among us "deserves" surgery? well - that's another issue - but here's the thing i would tell everyone - honey, it will change your life and your body in ways you don't expect and ways you can never understand. the strong among us survive it - and the weaker, the ones with other problems besides weight loss - well, it is not a panacea. love ya, nan

Nan~ (love ya too, btw) I find your response to her very interesting. Not wrong, just interesting. I probably would have said the exact opposite to her. "Do it while you're young....your body will bounce back better, no dependents to worry about, no marriage to screw with, don't give yourself time to develop problems that might ruin your health forever". Neither take on it is wrong, just different points of view. My sister-in-law was 212 lbs and was 23 years old when she had hers. Her main reason.....depression over her weight. She had NO co-morbidities. Do I agree with her decision....MMMM....not really. To be honest, I can't believe that she found a surgeon to touch her. She only needed to lose 70 lbs and remember....she had no other extenuating health problems. She IS so much happier, she is healthier....was it worth the risk? I don't know, but I think it's good to take this risk before you have a spouse and children that could be completely devistated by your possible death or serious complications, but I agree that it's a drastic step to take if you have no pending health problems. At 300 lbs....she will probably NEVER get to a normal bmi on her own. I know I never could. I didn't really have any health problems either. I had developed high blood pressure and I was pre-diabetic, but that's it. AND....I didn't find these things out until AFTER I got the wls ball rolling. In fact, they weren't discovered until my pre-op testing. The hbp could have been controlled with meds and taking off a few (30) lbs would have significantly cut my chances of developing diabetis. Sooooo.......I did it for the sake of weight loss. I needed to feel better about myself. I'm just throwing another angle at ya! Love ya babe! C

i think you are right - putting it in that way and that situation, hon ah hell none of us are god,

Great question, dear lady. After my surgery I would be open and honest about the whole trip. I tried to maintain neutrality thinking it's a decision that requires a deeply personal weighing of the benefits against the financial, social, psychological, and familial considerations. After January I got REAL!!!! I was dying and the pace of my demise was quickening big time. I made a decision: screw neutrality: this works fast and it's safer than many diets and drugs. I am once again vibrant, sassy, healthy, and attractive. Piss on those that berate success. It came down to shifting my life, which had several years of downtime, into one of innumerable options... an old fart, to a faht, to a fa--bulously committed person in terms of wls. The future may yield new therapies that will make cutting open folks outdated. For now, it's the best option for the morbidly obese. Count me as an advocate! Dave

Dave, I just love hearing from you. You're replies are always so interesting and you're so, so, I don't know, just _there_. I get a kick out of your replies and your answers always give me new tools in the toolbox. I find you inspiring. Thank you for being here & for being you! Hugs, Lisa

Great question Channan.. Here is my take.. I tell anyone who askes me how I lost weight that I had WLS but I do NOT recommend surgery to ANYBODY. I have ppl ask if I thought WLS would work for them and like you Channan I say to Research, research, research. I said unless you are willing to take the risk of death then you should not consider it. The reason I say this is because my mom had this surgery over 2 years ago and many of her friends were inspired by her. Well one of her friends decided to have WLS and died due to complications from the surgury and left behind a husband and two young sons .My mom knows in her heart she is not responsible for this tradgety but it is definatly something she will carry with her for the rest of her life. Sooo that being said. I feel it is just to much of a personal decision that I would never tell anyone they SHOULD have WLS. Did it work for me and am I thankful every day that I made this decision?, YES! Would i do it again? YES. Do I think it is a solution for everone? NO. Just my thoughts on the matter! Shannan

First there is the answer to a different question. Do I tell people how I lost the weight? Yes, if they ask. If they don't ask, I don't volunteer anymore. Am I an advocate? Hell yes. Because it has worked so well for me. I wish (as many of us do) that I had this surgery 10 years ago (or 20 years ago). However, I am also honest. I tell people I'm one of the lucky ones. No complications. Not everybody has such an "easy" time of it. I often refer others to the OH website. It is up to them if they decide to follow up their questions with action. I'd love to proselytize about WLS - but just like religion and politics, you can't convert somebody who isn't ready to listen, so I'm working on letting it go. -Pam