One year thoughts

(Copied from my profile- go there and scroll down to the bottom to see comparison pics) Well, here it is. The one year mark. One year ago today, I had gastric bypass surgery. I credit my surgeon with saving my life. Maybe she didn't save my life physically (although I was on a downward spiral), but she helped me get my life back emotionally. There are many aspects of my life which have been affected this past year by my decision to have weight loss surgery. Here are my thoughts on a few of them. My health: As many of you know, I have lupus. I have suffered with chronic joint pain, mostly in my knees, for years. My doctor was always telling me that I should lose weight to lessen the load my knees had to carry. It turns out he was right! I hardly ever have joint pain anymore. And the times my joints do bother me, it doesn't last days like it used to. It only lasts for a few hours at a time. By the time I wake up the next morning, the pain is usually gone. I have more energy now too. The only times I feel lazy and not up to doing things is usually attributed to the lupus. My physical appearance: Obviously, my physical appearance has changed dramatically over the past year. My highest weight was 281. I was wearing a size 26/28 in pants, and a 22/24 in tops. My legs rubbed together when I walked. I had a hard time fitting into seats at movies, restaurants, amusement parks, etc. My bra was a size 42 DDD. Basically, I was miserable in my own skin. I was being held prisoner by 150 extra pounds on my frame. Now, I am down to 125 pounds. I wear a size 4 in pants, and a size small in tops. My bra size is down to 34 C. There is actual space between my legs when I walk! I have collar bones, hip bones, ribs, etc. Who knew all those bones were hiding under all that? I do have some extra skin which is typical of those who have weight loss surgery. I don't have the lower stomach skin like most people do. I basically have a little skin that hangs on my upper arms/armpits, a little pooch on my upper abdomen, a saggy/wrinkly bum, and saggy/wrinkly inner thighs. With clothes on, nobody can really tell. I probably won't have reconstructive surgery because the skin does not affect my every day life. It would be purely cosmetic, and since I don't really do that well with surgery or anesthesia, I think I'll steer clear. If money were no object, and I thought I might do well with surgery, I would have my breasts lifted, and my thighs/bum lifted. But alas, money is an object, and I don't do well with surgery. So I will continue to live with my wrinkles. My love life: One year ago I was stuck in a dead end relationship. I was too scared to end the relationship even though I knew I didn't want to be with the person. I was afraid of being alone. I wanted someone who would accept me for who I was- someone who would look past my outer appearance and still want to be with me. I was so scared that I wouldn't be able to find someone like that after my surgery. I didn't want to start dating someone after I had lost the weight because I felt like I would never know if it was me and my personality he was attracted to, or my physical appearance he was attracted to. Luckily I was able to stand up for myself and end the first relationship about 6 months after my surgery. He said many hurtful things about the surgery changing me, but I really don't feel that was true. I started dating my current boyfriend about 7-8 months after my surgery. I was so nervous about him finding out that I had surgery. I told him before we got serious at all, and he didn't seem to have a problem with it. Since then, he has seen all of my before pictures. I figured if things were going to progress with us, I couldn't hide them forever. He never said much about them. I guess what is there to say, really? All I know is that I am so glad I stepped out of my comfort zone and ended the first relationship because this guy I am with now is amazing. I love him so much. How I was ever in a relationship before and thought it was good is beyond me because this one is so much different and better. I've never felt this way with anyone else before. It's wonderful! My attitude about life: I think it is so sad that weight can affect your attitude about life in general. But I am here to tell you that it does. I had a good life before my surgery. I wasn't depressed, I had a good job and a great family. Things were going well. As I've lost weight though, my attitude has improved. I'm not constantly worried and obsessing about what other people are thinking of me. I'm happier. I feel better about myself, and it has transferred over to how I act. My job: I have more energy to spend with my students now. I'm not constantly asking someone in my class to get things for me. I can get up and down off the floor with ease. I can play games with them on field day. I can eat my healthy snack in front of them and not wait to have junk food when they are out of the classroom. My eating: I have to admit that I am still a carbaholic. I just try to watch what I eat and do it in moderation. I realized recently that I am not getting enough protein, so I added a protein drink as my daily breakfast. For my morning snack, I usually eat a 6 oz. Yoplait Light yogurt. For lunch, I either eat some kind of chicken leftovers, chicken or tuna salad on crackers, barbeque, ricotta cheese with tomato sauce and parmesan cheese, or some other kind of protein. For an afternoon snack, I usually have some kind of carbs: Combos, a 100 calorie pack of something sweet, a granola bar, a small piece of candy, etc. For dinner I usually have swiss cheese with crackers, a few dried apricots, Combos, and a peppermint patty. For a night snack, I usually have some kind of frozen treat. I like No Sugar Added Skinny Cow ice cream sandwiches in mint flavor, Slim-a-Bear Klondike bars, SF popsicles, No Sugar Added Breyer's ice cream, etc. I've tried tons of different frozen treats. I love them! I have introduced sugar back into my diet in moderation. For example, on a special occasion I will eat ½ of chocolate chip cookie, a few bites of cake and ice cream, a few bites of a special dessert, etc. I try not to be a freak about not eating things anymore. I am a year out and ready to eat like a normal person. I do still avoid pasta, rice, and non-toasted bread though. They take up too much room, and I need that room for more nutritious things. I do have days where I eat more than I "should," but no guilt and move on. I am thankful every single day for this surgery and how I have had such huge success. I credit my success to a lot of hard work and a lot of luck. I did the hard work, but I'm lucky I haven't had any of the complications that many people have. Here's to a heck of year. Hopefully the next one will go just as well. Lauren 281/125.4/130?

Hello, Lauren! We are surgery sisters!! I will post my story tomorrow, but wanted to say GOOD JOB!! And thanks for sharing so thoroughly! I'm off to see your pix on your profile! blessings and here's to year 2!! Lori C.

Hi Lauren WOW, you look great in your pictures. Keep up the great work. How did you get your pretty designs on your website? My anniversary is the 18th. I'm down 140 pounds and I feel wonderful. Marie

Lauen- Thansk for sharing this with us- It is amazing what we all have done this past year. Congrats on your accomplishments! Andrea

You go girl I am so proud of you. God bless amy

Lauren, My ADD prevented me from reading your entire post....sorry! BUT....I can say that you have done beautifully! You are such a beautiful girl. You have a striking face and an adorable figure! You set the bar pretty high! Thanks a lot! I'm glad that you are a member of our little board. You inspire me. Malibu