i'm going to scream

so... dh tells me.. that his niece and nephew (she's my age..they've been married a year less than us) gave birth to a daughter when joel came home... (so she's about 2 1/2 years old).. you guess it... she's due late feb/early march.. i just broke down and cried (went to the bathroom so son and dh didn't see/hear me..) just down... j

I know we have talked in chat about this topic before and I just want to let you know that I am sending you many cyber hugs! Nothing I can say will take away what you must be feeling right now, but please know that I am thinking of you. {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Mandie

Jennifer, Sweetie! (((((((((Big Hugs))))))) I know that you are a teacher. I'm just wondering if this is weighing so heavily on your mind because you have more "down time" than you do during the school year. Do you have some type of distraction that you can "escape" in to? A hobby, a skill, volunteer work...........anything? It's really hard to be happy for others when they are having the success or the blessings that you want and deserve and aren't receiving. It's obvious to me that another baby will make it's way into your life....you want it bad enough. If it's not through your own body, then it will come to you by other means. From my own personal experience......pregnancy and child birth is WAAYY over-rated. If I have another child, it will be through adoption even though I am capable of producing another baby, it was just so "sucky" that I never want to again. (I know this part doesn't help you) Wishing you the best of luck darlin! I hope this happens for you, C

Hey Jennifer, Just a little story for you. I had my eldest son and then a year later wanted a girl. My husband and I tried all kinds of things. No luck. Then we thought, hey, maybe something is wrong... we went to doctors galore - had all kinds of freakin tests done and heard everything up the wazoo. sperm count low. endometriosis. we went to the best hospitals. Cleveland clinic. the national institute of health in maryland. finally we gave up. i was sick and tired of laparoscopic this and that and goodgoddamn all kinds of tests. we finally breathed a sigh of relief and said, hey we can't HAVE any more kids so just let it be. we decided not to worry about it anymore. didn't think about it. and let me tell you after months and months of having a period show up when you were hoping and hoping that it wouldn't (how much money i have spent on pregnancy tests, hmmm.) well it was hard. but you know this, child. anyhoo, one fine january day... my husband came back from an international trip and well - let's just say I was REAL happy to see him. the result of that was our sweet precious 12 year old (now) twins. they were a surprise. i truly believe there is a time and a place for everything including the gift of children. god decides when and how and if. if you can't have em adopt em, honey. there are many many many to go around who need you. i just wanted to let you know that people here understand. it's hard as hell when you are hoping and praying and wishing and wanting. it's hard to see that damn stain show up every month. it's awful and breaks your heart to see babies and mothers and all that. but - i believe this - your time will come. let it go and forget about it for now. focus on other things - your careers, your relationship, your family your community. things will happen in their own good sweet time. love you. been there, child. nan