What is wrong?

I dont have an explaination for it, but I am sooo depressed. Rome is burning around me and I want to hide under the covers. I am overwhelmed with work, my family life is stressed, I feel completely disconnected to my life. I have been letting really important deadlines get away from me. Not to mention that it's 112 degrees outside today. This is relevent because I am used to getting out and walking or running and it's just too damn hot to do either. I have only ever experienced depression once in my life and that was after my son was born. This feels very close to that. Who is this person? This is not me! I am always HAPPY damnit! Ohhhhh....I hope this only lasts for a few days. Too many people depend on me for me to continue this way. I feel like getting in my car and driving away from my life. Malibu

Our sweet Channan! Take a deep breath (a few, if you please). This is simply life reclaiming itself on you as it has on all of us. I think sometimes it was easier to escape when we were heavier. I know I did. Under pretense of sickness or actual ailments, I buried myself under the covers and hibernated much of the day and came out ony when I wished. I parked in the handicapped zone, walked as little as possible and blamed everybody and everything. And now... You and me - we're OUT THERE and doing and feeling and experiencing and walking and running and working and - frankly, it can be too much at times. Step back a little. Take a few deep breaths and rest. We're going like little hamsters on eternal wheels - we're BOUND to get tired and depressed. The only person you should be concerned about now at this very moment is YOU sweetheart. Take all the time you need to refresh your soul. I don't mean neglect your family, of course! But you do nopt have to be ON 100% right now. They get it. They get you. And so do we. Go read a book. Meditate. Paint a picture. Fingerpaint it even. Remember yourself and your evolution. It'll be good for you and good for everybody around you. Its why they tell ya on airplanes to put on your own ventilator thingy before assisting others. Breathe and be alive so you can GIVE to everyone else around you, honey. WE LOVE YOU! Nan

Nan, you are so right on with your words. I hope they meant as much to Channan as they did to me. THANKS!

C Sorry you're feelin down babe. Wish I was there to give ya a hug. ( and maybe slip in a little tickle ) Betcha I could make you smile. Things can get very overwhelming. We've set the wheels in motion and it feels like there's now getting off the bus. My life was so much simpler when I was fat. Now there is so much going on and I feel like I'm being pulled in a dozen directions at once and I'm sure I don't have a quarter of the stress you do. I think I feel the best when I'm out in the back yard with my shovel. Digging and flinging dirt is a great stress relief mechanism. Exercise in general is good for stress. Maybe your running has the same benefit for you and not being able to do it is causing your stress levels to build. If you were running by yourself it was alone time too. And definately doing something for yourself instead of for others. Nan was right when she said you need to do something for you. Take care sweetheart and know we love you. Tim

Okay, DO IT. Drive away. But, then stop at the gym. Get that excercise in that you don't want to do in the 112 degree heat. Or perhaps there is a pool that can be bummed? That excercise is part of your "me" time. And everybody, especially us healing people, needs "me" time. If you aren't getting it excercising, how are you going to get it? Maybe the library? Rome isn't burning. Okay, 112 is hot, but it isn't burning. Relax. Let people take care of themselves for a little bit. You take care of you. Everybody has down days. And now we aren't smothering them in food. New things to deal with, these nasty emotions that are now popping out. We love you. We'll help you. As you help us. -Pam

Okay Red.. Just breathe.. A few minutes ago I was washing the kitchen floor, had 4 loads to transfer to the dryer, was installing a new phone in a jack that was wasn't very forgiving.. I was swearing like a sailor.. even the dog ran away from me.. Then.. I poured a cup of coffee and was just about to add some BLEACH from the table.. I caught myself.. and saw the white CREAMER bottle on the table.. Man... Take some time for you.. or do something special for someone else, you will feel better. Last year at this time Drinking bleach would not have been an option for me cause I would probably be laying down drowning in my own fat about this time of day.. .... Later today I want to see you posting about something healthy you did today.. for your body, mind and spirit... all will be well.. we are all exactly where we are supposed to be doing exactly what we are supposed to do today.. God, Our higher power, or whatever you call it has a plan for each of us... Breathe... peace Mo

You rock my world and the worlds of so many of our fellow Julyers here. I say ditto to the above posts! One of your greatest attributes is candor and that spurs others on here to share their experience when they normally would not. Many WLS patients exhibit depression at points after their surgery and we've discussed it often on this board. Depression is an illness: it is chemical. It doesn't always require a chemical intervention, but it does require action. For many, it's temporary and leaves. With me, it didn't leave! Check with your personal physician about options. I see a shrink quarterly, because I choose not to live depressed. I'm on a low dose regime involving wellbutrin (buproprion) which I have taken for years. I'm one of those folks *****quire pharmacological help. Your may well not need anything, but most of us could benefit from a professional assessment. You've read my suggestions on here before: explore conitive therapy and read the book by Burns, "Feeling Good" and purchase the "Feeling Good" workbook chocked full of exercises and activities that will help you gain a measure of understanding about your own experience. You'll gain real insight into how you think and relate. I first looked into conitive therapy in the early nineties and joined a therapy group at one point. I was the only guy at times and it was liberating to spend time with smart and creative women who were honest caring, and very helpful. With the exception of one asshole, the guys were great too. Here's a link that will give you some info: http://www.psychologyinfo.com/depression/cognitive.htm You are loved here, Dave

{{{{{{{{Hug}}}}}}}}} No need to explain, I think we all go through this from time to time. I was feeling that way myself awhile back. Remember we are there for you. Many of the previous people have had some good ideas. All I can say is take some time for you. I keep having to remind myself of something the leader of our local support group has said often. "We have had surgery on our stomach's NOT our brains." Just because we weigh less dosn't change or eliminate all the other stuff in life. Take it one day at a time. I know that sounds cliche but it is true. Solutions to life's issues don't just jump up when we want them to they come up when they are ready. I am still waiting and looking for a long term solution for my niece's kid, but right now he is safe. In other words try and look at the little victories not just just the huge challenges. Don't worry about other people depending on you to behave a certain way. They will get over it. You have been there for them in the past and you will be there in the future, but right now you need to just be there for you. It will be OK kiddo, remember we are here for YOU!