Would this have happened a year ago?

Okay guys-- I have a story to share. As you know I am a bit incapacitated currently with my styling black with white dog-hair boot and silver hued crutches. I have been getting up early to catch a cab to work (after 8am good luck getting one). This morning I went out and started trying to hail one. A woman with three children walked by, walked past me and stood in front of me to hail a cab. It's a dog-eat-dog world when it comes to hailing cabs, but what was I going to on Crutches, chase her? Then a car service guy drove by. For those of you who don't know, gypsy cabs (non-yellow) cabs will cruise Manhattan looking to make extra money. They don't have a licesnse, so it's illegal to take them unless you call a car service to come get you. A lot of time it's just some guy from Queens in a beat up old Lincoln trying to make money; or it is a car service trying to make some money after dropping off a fare before his next one comes by. This guy drove right by the bit-- I mean mother and stopped in front of me. He got out helped me into the car (UNHEARD OF IN NYC) and told me he normally doesn't pick up people off the street but he saw me and thought I was the "right" type of person to pick up. He had a very nice car with GPS, so I kind of believe him. He was very sweet, gave me his card and told me to call him if I had trouble getting home and walked me to the door of my office carrying my back pack. I was totally flaberghasted by his kindness- (paid him very well). At the same time, this nagging thought kept at me-- would he have done this for me if I was heavy. Isn't that terrible? I was horrified and ashamed that I was looking for the half empty scenario, but people have been SOOO nice to me since this accident happened. I have been on a cane before in NY (which is not the same as crutches) and no one bothered to help me EVER. What's wrong with me that I question people's good intentions? I would never tell anyone this except you guys, because I a bit ashamed I can't take a good deed at face value.

I think you are correct in your observations! That being said look at the glass half full and be glad there are still people in the Big City that will still do something nice for a stranger even if he was probably hitting on you. We treat the obese horribly in our society. I have had conversations with people in the past that have said I don't really understand descrimation because I am not "black", "hispanic" or some other minority. They don't realize how often and to what extent obese people are treated differently. BTW...was he cute? and have you called him?

I second that Peter! C

You know this just shows how insecure I am in my head--- I never would have thought of this as a pick up-- Totally oblivious, aren't I? Now that you and Channan have mentioned, I wonder if that is why he gave me his card. Nah, he's just a nice person.

Know what girl?......We have seriously got to re-train you! You were fat too long to remember what the signals are and how to react to them. We need a flirting 101 class! I can be the professor! Class is in Session! C

I know what you mean. Although I still have a LOT of weight to loose, I can see a difference in the way people are here in the midwest too. I am always thinking the reason they are looking at me is because of my excess weight, but the more I think about it they are probably noticing that I have lost weight and are doing the second look to make sure if I am who they think I am. Then my thought process goes to..why are they giving me a second look now? Why before did it always seem like I was being looked at and I thought it was because they couldn't believe how big I was and now it is almost like a double negative. I don't think they are looking at me in a bad way...such as noticing I have lost weight-which is a good thing, but the fact that they are giving me the second look now just makes me irate. I am not sure I will ever get over this feeling, sometimes I feel like I shouldn't allow myself to feel this way and that my problems with this are silly and no one would understand. Then I feel like if I mention it to someone I am opening myself up for ridicule. Lately I have not been happy with the human race at all. People are mean in this world. Then I go to the thought process about why I am homeschooling my son and wonder if that is the right thing to do. I think that maybe we are doing it to protect him from the real world which will just hurt him in the end...but I SO do not like it when kids pick on each other. It is cruel and very damaging to a childs self-esteem. I took my son to the park Friday during mid-afternoon while children were still in school and then slowly some kids started showing up after school let out. Now my son, *****ally does not have a weight problem, was playing with some other ones that showed up who were a tiny bit heavier. This other kid started saying..."piggly wiggly" "piggly wiggly", just goofing around because he himself was running around and oinking like a pig. Then he turned to my son and said it. I was sitting in the van and didn't realize that my son thought the kid was picking on him. Nonetheless the grandmother told the boy to apologize to my son, then shortly they left. My son went over and started swinging and crying. I felt so bad for him because I can remember being picked on and running off to a swing to be alone when I was small. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE MY SON, but if I had to do it all over again, I would chose not to have children just for the fact that they would not get hurt in this cruel world. Anyway, sorry for such the ramble Andrea, I guess I just needed to get it out. The further out I get and more weight I lose, the more I can see why it is required to have a Psych evaluation before having surgery. I seriously think I will need to get counseling someday, but then that would be admitting I have a problem and I don't know if I am ready for that or not. Mandie

Mandie, First of all, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. I am so sorry your son got teased at the playground. It is a cruel world, but there are good things too. I remember being teased as a kid because I was a brain, and no one in our neighborhood wanted to be friends with a nerdy brain. I understand how much it can hurt, and it leaves a lasting impression on all of us. Hugs to you and your son, andrea

Mandie, Sweetie.......you are very raw right now. As the layers of fat begin to shed, we are left exposed and vulnerable. I'm so sorry that your son was being teased. Kids are just mean! We have ALL been there for one reason or another. I guess it's just part of the process of growing up. As a parent myself, I know it hurts me as much as it hurts my son when he gets teased. In fact, as I have mentioned before, it was one of my reasons for having wls. He told me that he was being teased for having a fat mom. I couldn't bare the idea that something I had done was causing him pain and grief in is little sweet life. Ya know what though......he handled it amazingly well. Kids are resilient and teasing is just a part of them learning how to relate to others. As much as it hurt to watch....I know it humbled him and made him a more caring individual. He is such a caring, sweet little guy. I'm so glad to see you around here more. I miss you when you're gone. You are much more of a tender-hearted person than I am. While I am goofing off and replying to others with insensative jokes, you see the side of people that needs a hug. I'm more of the ass-slapping type. I need to be more of the hugging type....like you. On second thought....maybe we just balance each other out! Love you Mandie! C

I have to agree with you, girlie. I now have people waiting to hold doors open for me and double taking me everywhere I go. It is something that is going to take some getting used to as we are so used to being invisible. Sometimes I wish I could go back to being invisible, but then I look back and remember how miserable it was to not be noticed. Like Peter said...look at the glass half full and eventually your brain will catch on that being noticed is a good thing. Just do not let it go to your head and start acting towards overweight people the way we were acted against. I know some people that have done that and it is a shame because they do not remember that they were in that same place. Nickie

Good point Nickie-- I plan on remembering..... Don't get me wrong-- it was nice that he was helpful. I just wonder.. and then part of me wonders if it just because I project a more upbeat image. I think that I probably would have been much more embarrassed then too. It's just gets me thinking... Not sure if I am angry-- just sad for other people, and a little scared too.