Big baby!

Malibu C
on 5/14/06 12:11 pm - Somewhere in, AZ
Davie-pooh, I always value your words sooooo much. You're dear to me. With that being said......You don't know jack! Ha! Kiddin babe! Just razzin ya! You are VERY insightful and I always appreciate your wisdom and kind words. I also like to tease you! Seriously though............My husband IS immature, but chauvanistic.....I don't think of him that way. He's more of a traditionalist than a chauvanist. Here's the problem.....When we met we had a short courtship, but talked extensively about what type of famly we wanted. He wanted several kids (5). I wanted a small family (2). We agreed that three was a good compromise, but actually having one changed my perspective completely. Obviously he cant have kids without me and he wants more. I feel bad about this. I'm the one changing the rules in the middle of the game, not him. I feel like I backed out of the deal that we made. I know that's not a very romantic way to view marriage, but IT IS like a business deal. You get what you want, I get what I want.....if we don't, we call it quits and look for a better deal. Right? I talked to him about this again this morning. His response was....."Chan, I love you no matter what, I'm just disappointed". I DO take issue with your statement: "Having a child happily requires a complete commitment and a wellspring of warm feelings for the experience on your part. " Not because it's not true, but because unplanned children are conceived everyday and accepted with love as was my son. I was soooo not ready for a child when we got pregnant and I don't believe in terminating a pregnancy so there I was scared, sick, but determined to make it work and it did. He's the greatest gift in my life and if I had given into the idea that it just wasn't the right time to have a child, I would be missing out on his sweet spirit and the joy he brings to my life. I love my husband very much and want him to have the family that he invisioned when he married me. I want this for myself too. but my ideals have changed.....his haven't. Thanks Dave! Love ya! C
Debbie M.
on 5/14/06 12:19 pm - Fort Worth, TX
C, I have to agree with the others here. Having a baby is a deeply personal, emotional, and physical change for women, that men will never understand. They can't fully because as much as they love us and are "going through" the whole process with us, it is not happening to them. I strongly believe that in totally fairness this is your body, mind and well being, and having a baby feeling the way you do, is not fair to you or a baby. I hope you and hubby can have a long loving discussion and find another option you can both live with. Maybe adobtion, or maybe foster parents??? You'll find the best thing for you both, just keep talking! Good luck!
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