Okay, gang...I'm OFFICIALLY trying to have baby #2. Met with the fertility doctor today and he has drawn up a plan of action, which involves lots of bloodwork, funky fallopian tube tests, and clomid. Amazingly enough, my insurance will cover all of the diagnostic work and even covered the clomid. I know, I know, I'm not anywhere near goal. And while I won't even consider trying to lose weight (assuming I do get pregnant), I still plan on participating on the healthy eating lifestyle that I've struggled so hard to stick with. Maybe I'll do even BETTER with another life inside of me! At any rate, I'll still be around. I know I don't have to explain myself to you guys...but here are some answers to questions that you MIGHT have cross your mind at some point. Like, why not wait until goal? When I had WLS, I had hoped to be down to 200 by my 18 month mark. THEN, I would work on the next baby, possibly losing more weight before I actually became pregnant. Well, 18 months came and went and I wasn't at 200. I won't be there for my 2 year anniversary, either. Close, but not quite there. And as you ALL know, the weight loss thing hasn't been easy on me, not even early on. I may NEVER make it to goal, NEVER make it below 200. And I figure that if I'm losing MAYBE 1 lb a month right now, I STILL won't be down to 200 in a year...so I might as well have a baby. Sure, I could kick it into high gear (read: starve myself) and hope to reach that ever elusive goal, but I've been TRYING since January to get into and stay in that high gear. Obviously, I failed. What OTHER reasons do I have for not waiting? My daughter will be 8 this fall. That's a pretty big age gap, don't you think? She'll be nearly 9 (or older) when she has a sibiling. I don't really want to put it off any longer. PLUS, I'm not getting any younger. I'll be 31 soon. In only 4 short years, my age will play a big role in a whole host of things, including ability to become pregnant AND fetal health. Why take the risk? I guess I'm posting this more for myself than anything. Writing helps me. Writing is my therapist. Believe me, this "can't lose weight/might gain weight" thing sort of freaks me out. But just seeing my reasons on paper (okay, the computer screen) proves to me that a temporary hiatus is worth having the second child I've been dreaming of for so long. I'll keep you guys updated, mostly through the "More to Lose" posts where I plan to continue to participate so that I may achieve and maintain a healthy pregnancy. Wish me luck! And thanks for everything you have done for the last two years! Without you guys, this journey would have been a lonely, scary one! Pamela -134 sometimes

Excellent post, Michelle. I feel very much as you do - we are all so much alike, yet so very different. I too am a white / simple carb / sugar (guess that's white and carb) addict. I truly believe that abstinence is the only way to deal with it, but I've never been able to be 100% compliant. As far as my alcohol/drugs/tobacco background, I was able to (with the grace of God) remain abstinent from those things, but with food ~ well, you have to eat, so it makes it that much harder. My biggest, most concerning problem is stopping once I've started. I can go all day without eating and not have a problem with cravings, but once I ingest something solid - even protein - I start craving and all I can think about is eating. Once work settles down, I'm going to see about therapy. I'm still learning a lot about myself - that's what life is. I'm on a constant quest to better myself, find balance and be happy, healthy and content. For the most part, I do the best I can, as I know we all do. Thanks again Mike, for an interesting subject. Hugs, Nancy

I'm like Denise......started off with no plan because I forgot all my stuff at home today. Luckily I had some things stashed at work. So here's my impromtu plan. B: Southbeach Protein Bar S: Fresh raspberries L: Not sure, going out to lunch, something with chicken I hope! S: applesauce/maybe some pretzels. D: Hmm forgot to take something out of the freezer......this one will be tricky! LOL Okay, so its not much of a plan, but I'm trying!! LOL Michelle 58 more pounds to lose till goal!

Denise: You can do it!!!! Hang in there!!! Michelle

HI everyone. Mike I do the same as you. I eat something small every 2-3 hours to keep my metabolism going (this was my dr's suggestion). It does work for me. But, I think it is important to remember that every person and every "body" is different. Metabolic rate differs in each person. Some of us have a higher metabolism than others do, hence the rate of which we have lost weight and what we are currently losing. Other's have a tendency to gain it quicker too. I think it is important to not judge others. No one here can predict or pretend to know each person's lifestyle and the emotional triggers that they deal/struggle with. We are all unique and our needs and demons are different. If you (meaning the person reading this post) are one of those people who claim to have been able to make this lifestyle change and don't slip, then my hat is off to you. I however can admit that I am far from perfect and ever changing. I start each day off with the "I can do this" attitude and some days I'm very successful. But I can also admit there are days that aren't so good, but I do not beat myself up over it, I just dust myself off and try again. But just because there are those who are still learning to make that change or needing to tweak their changes slightly does not make them any less successful than any one else or mean that they haven't used the tool to it's potential. That is the reason we come here. We find strength in our peers who are going through similar issues. I think that in itself is a positive thing. And realistically, what does it matter at this point? If we haven't used our tool to its maximum potential is there anything we can do about it now? Nope, just move forward and continue down the road to success, even if it takes us a little bit longer than others. To everyone on this board, be proud of all you have accomplished and WILL continue to accomplish with the love and support of your fellow July Baby Losers! Michelle