Need some input!

My weight has been so stuck the past couple of months. I keep gaining 3 loosing 2 gaining 1...you get the picture...anyway I decided to start logging my food intake at Fitday and I'm finding it hard to get to the 1100-1200 calories we're supposed to get a day and I feel that when I don't eat that much for a couple of days my weight goes down a pound or so but when I try to get in what we're supposed to get in I gain the weight. I'm confused as to what to do because I want to get my weight moving down again. I have lost 112 pounds and have another 40 or more to go so I'm scared to death this is the end of my weightloss. I'm also having a hard time keeping away from the Cheez-its. I just have a small handful at night while watching tv but I don't want to go back to those bad habits. I only eat sugar free things and if I do have something with sugar in it is below 10 grams and it's only one or two and not the whole box. I don't do bread because I don't feel good on it but I do sometimes have some pasta but not much. I'm having a hard time with the food demons. I seek comfort from food and can't eat that much to find any comfort. I quit smoking so I could have this surgery to get healthy but I find myself wanting to smoke again. I can't go back to that. It's almost like I'm searching for some other thing to become obsessed with like I used to be with food. Somebody said to me a few weeks ago that I took the easy way out having this surgery and I told them this is far from easy and this is harder than any diet I've been on but at least the weight came off but now I want to make sure I keep it off and loose some more. I do feel way better than I used to and can walk without my knees hurting too much and look better but I'm still the same old me on the inside. When I try to talk to anybody about this they just don't get it or understand where I'm coming from. I know my buddies here will totally understand and that's what makes me feel so good coming here and reading everyday. It really helps me but now I'm struggling and scared....Many hugs...Susie

Well, my advice is to make sure you're drinking your water because they say that helps. Also you probably need to try and be consistent in your calorie intake each day. Other than that I don't really know what to suggest. As much exercise as possible. Protein protein protein. At least you're aware of your habits so you can stop them before you lose control. I think I've stopped losing and I've just come to terms with that fact. I'm still about 20 pounds from goal but that's ok. When I think back to where I was and what I weighed a year ago and look at myself now I'm nearly delirious with joy. I just try to focus on the good, on what I can do now, how I feel now. When my surgeon told me I'd probably not lose much more I told him I was really ok with that, and that's the truth. If I never lose another pound, so what? Anyway, stay positive. Peace Merritt

OMG Susie ~ we must be twins!! I have gone through so much of what you are experiencing! I am realizing just what an addictive personality I am. I am a recovering alcoholic (22 years clean and sober thank God) an ex-smoker and now, an emotional stress eater who is no longer able to eat vast amounts of food. I feel like I am looking for another passion or obsession to replace all of the self-destructve ones that I have been able to put aside. Sometimes it's an overwhelming tug from deep inside ~ something calling to me and most of the time I can't satisfy that urge. I too have been considering going back to smoking. I know it would be the DUMBEST thing I could do, so I think I'm going to see a therapist ~ hopefully I can find someone who specializes in compulsions and addictive behaviors. I agree with you that WLS was certainly not the easy way out. Physically I am in better shape than I have ever been. I have a lot of strength and stamina, I can do a lot of activities and not be winded or out of breath, and I walk about 4-6 miles every day...unheard of for this former couch potato. In fact, lately I have been feeling a bit obsessive about the exercise. If I eat, I think, "now I have to exercise to work it off". I'm keeping a close eye on that. I have also stalled in my weight loss, but because of the exercise I am definitely losing inches. I can't believe I'm in a size 11 slim - who me???? The food demons (I call it the fat girl in my head ) are always just below the surface for me too. My surgeon suggested I take a writing course and start a book about my life. I don't know if I have the patience for that. All I can say Susie is that you're not alone. Now that we are pretty much settling down physically from the surgery it is time to deal with the emotional and psychological issues - and for most of us, that's where the problems lie. We're on the long journey of life, and sometimes the road is straight and easy and other times it's steep and difficult. I just try and remember the victories - they sure can be sweet and you know how we feel about sweets! If you need to 'talk', please feel free to email me. Hugs, Nancy -120

Your post helped me feel like I was not alone. I had my surgery in July 2004. I have stopped losing and even gained a little (< 10 pounds). This is really scary!! I almost stopped exercising altogether and starting eating the "bad" foods again. Let's be moral support for each other. It is easier to lose weight than to maintain it. Sincerely, Melanie

You are not alone Mel and this is a hard thing to go thru if you feel alone. I fell off the wagon so to speak quite a few times lately but it is alot easier to get back on since surgery than it was before. We have the tool now all we need to do is keep using it in the way it was intended to be used and that's the hard part. I will be your support buddy gladly and feel free to email me whenever you want. We'll help each other along and struggle together. Many hugs....Susie